Honeymoon Nightmare
When the groom goes missing18 total reviews
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I read the instructions for this contest, and I believe they are asking for an opening sentence. You have 6.
I'd go back and make sure you're giving the committee what they're looking for - the examples are all one sentence. You could probably use the first sentence of this paragraph if you wanted to.
Good luck.
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2024
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I read the instructions for this contest, and I believe they are asking for an opening sentence. You have 6.
I'd go back and make sure you're giving the committee what they're looking for - the examples are all one sentence. You could probably use the first sentence of this paragraph if you wanted to.
Good luck.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 16-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2024
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Thanks for bringing that to my attention but this is what I read in the instructions.
****Write an opening paragraph to a story, with a 'hook' in the first sentence. The intrigue/action can continue making the whole paragraph a hook, but the punch should be in the first sentence.
****Prose only, one paragraph, not a whole story (this isn't a flash) just an opening paragraph. Any genre. Fiction or Nonfiction.
Do you think I got it wrong? Because I could just erase the others....
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I just went back and re-read the instructions. At the bottom it does say "paragraph" - the challenge title says "sentence" and the examples are sentences. I think it's confusing, as the directions for these contests often are.
Do what you think is best and forget that I said anything:-)
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No problem at all! thanks for pointing it out because one never knows what the rules really are. but...I don't expect to win and it was just for fun...Have a great day!
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Oh, yes; definitely there is intrigue here and it pulls a reader in to wanting more explanations and understandings of what's about to come next. Well done. I hope this goes well for you at the polls! And congrats on such an enormous milestone post!!! Wowie zowie! xoxox
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2024
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Oh, yes; definitely there is intrigue here and it pulls a reader in to wanting more explanations and understandings of what's about to come next. Well done. I hope this goes well for you at the polls! And congrats on such an enormous milestone post!!! Wowie zowie! xoxox
Comment Written 15-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2024
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Good thing it's only a paragraph because I don't have any idea where I was headed with it.... LOL I'm sue something or someone must be in those woods, but what?
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One of those mysteries of life, I guess...
Comment from jessizero
Eeek! Your first sentence was startling, and you followed it up well with the rest of the opening paragraph. It definitely makes me wonder what happens next. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2024
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Eeek! Your first sentence was startling, and you followed it up well with the rest of the opening paragraph. It definitely makes me wonder what happens next. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2024
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they said it needed a hook...well, I think the writer was using a mighty big fishing pole and I am terrified to see what might be reeled in...lol Thank you so much for reading.
Comment from LJbutterfly
Oh Yes! This is a perfect 'Opening Line' contest entry. Your opening sentence is intriguing, but when she reached for her husband and he was not there, I was hooked, and wanted to know more, especially with the closet door creaking open. Way to go! Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2024
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Oh Yes! This is a perfect 'Opening Line' contest entry. Your opening sentence is intriguing, but when she reached for her husband and he was not there, I was hooked, and wanted to know more, especially with the closet door creaking open. Way to go! Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2024
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Thank you so much, Lorraine. I appreciate your review and the time you spent reading and thinking about its worth, I hate blind contests, said I wouldn't enter another one, but here I am. Thanks for the best wihes. Have a great day!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Congrats on your 1000th milestone! Phew! What an initial paragraph! You've got me hooked. I don't think you could have packed more vivid or scary details in here. All I now hope is that there will be a continuation...:) In the meantime, good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2024
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Congrats on your 1000th milestone! Phew! What an initial paragraph! You've got me hooked. I don't think you could have packed more vivid or scary details in here. All I now hope is that there will be a continuation...:) In the meantime, good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 15-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2024
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Thanks so much, Debbie. I decided if I couldn't put a reader on the edge of their set with that paragraph, I might as well give up. Thanks for reading and for leaving a nice review.
Have a great day!
Comment from Lindsey Russell
Oh my gosh I want to know so much more about this story! It certainly fulfills the guidelines of the contest in an excellent way. Good luck with the contest and happy writing!
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2024
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Oh my gosh I want to know so much more about this story! It certainly fulfills the guidelines of the contest in an excellent way. Good luck with the contest and happy writing!
Comment Written 15-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2024
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Thank you so much, Lindsey. I truly appreciate your comments and the review. Have a great day!
Comment from royowen
I must admit I felt a cold shiver go down my back as I read the the last paragraph. There was an imaginary icy hand clutching at my throat. Great story, and congratulations, welcome to fanstory, good luck in the contest, blessings Roy
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reply by the author on 15-Sep-2024
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I must admit I felt a cold shiver go down my back as I read the the last paragraph. There was an imaginary icy hand clutching at my throat. Great story, and congratulations, welcome to fanstory, good luck in the contest, blessings Roy
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2024
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Now you talk to me every day, Roy... but thanks for the welcome - kindness is always appreciated. Does it say Milestone 1 or 1000? Regardless, I appreciate the review and sorry for the icy hand around your throat. Have a great day!
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So sorry, you are indeed a seasoned writer, it says 1,000. Silly me!
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Hey, no problems here. Like I said...please welcome me every day with open arms and I shall be happy. The only reson I asked is because this morning on my stats it did say first milestone but then it changed... I was hoping it had on the post as well. Smiles!
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Heh heh, it was still a goodie,
Comment from Patrick Bernardy
Hello!
This is excellent opening to a prospective horror story! It's always a great opening sentence when you have evocative words in it like "scream" and "howling." As the prompt explains, you can never fail by starting "in medias res," and boy, does this one start "in the middle of things." Well done! Good luck in the contest!
Patrick
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2024
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Hello!
This is excellent opening to a prospective horror story! It's always a great opening sentence when you have evocative words in it like "scream" and "howling." As the prompt explains, you can never fail by starting "in medias res," and boy, does this one start "in the middle of things." Well done! Good luck in the contest!
Patrick
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2024
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I did...and after entering Friday the 13th which no one read, I don't know why I entered another one...Dumb I guess. By the way, how did you know it was mine since it is a blind contest? Your review popped up Hi Carol and my eyes popped. LOL who cares...I just hope a few people read it...It is my 1000 Milestone and I don't even get credit because it's blind.... Guess I wasn't too smart either. thank you, Patrick!
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Oops! I need to stop doing that. *facepalm* I found it in your port. It was your turn for a review. Should I change it?
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I don't know if you can erase my name or not...but I don't really care. Probably no one will read it anyways...except you and that's just fine. Smiles and hugs!
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No, I can. I can edit my review. Let me fix it real quick in case others read the replies.
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Okay, I fixed it. 😊
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Everyone reads the replies, I assure you! Probably more than the stories. LOL Hope you are having a great day while I am trying my best to get caught up on things. I know I have one more to answer for you....Aren't you lucky?
Smiles and hugs, Carol
