Comment from lancellot

Excellent

Are you sure about the preamble. It takes the urgency out of the chapter, because we know everything works out for Julia. Also, I don't mean to sound like a broken record, but Brian is Magna Cum Laude and Julia is the best in her class?

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024

It's a novel. Why not? I know what you mean, though, but I need Julia to be extremely good, because she is to become a soloist who travels around rather than playing in a single orchestra, and they are the best of the best.

As far as Brian goes, you only need a 3.4 GPA for Magna Cum Laude, so it ain't that big a deal, although it's pretty good for a difficult major like biochemistry. Liberal arts? Maybe not so much.

I just thought it might be an interesting way to start off in the preamble by saying, yeah, these kids did well in college, but it wasn't without a glitch or two, and I zeroed in on that particular scene with Julia and her mom. It's out of order, but I liked doing it that way.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

What parents have to realise is they don't own their children and never will, I think I've covered this in some of my writings, we steward everything we have in this world, while it's a spiritual concept, it's a practical one too, just you try and take your 'possessions' with you when you die, can't be done, we own nothing in this world, we lease it, the price? Our lives. Well done Jim, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024

That's a good way to look at it, Roy. We are stewards of our children. They aren't our property to do with as we will. Julia is legally an adult now and deserves to be treated like one. I think her mother will one day regret the way she's been. I see a life of misery ahead for her.

Comment from Pam Lonsdale

Excellent

It is a scene that one could cheer and say, "You go, Julia," but I've seen this scene between father and son a couple of times, and it is so sad. Sometimes it is necessary - two people need to go their separate ways - but it always hangs onto a person for the rest of their life.

You write the scene well, and we're off to the post-college years!

xo
Pam

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024

Thanks, Pam. Perhaps it won't be forever. We shall see.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Thank you for sharing this post with us. I'm not really surprised that Julia and her mother had it out. I figured it would come to that at some point. I'm glad Brian was there for her. That's true love.

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024

Seemed like it was bound to happen sooner or later. Julia could only be pushed so far, and with Brian to help her, her mother didn't stand a chance.

reply by barbara.wilkey on 07-Sep-2024

I agree. My father was over baring, but I never got to the point that I could stand up for myself. He loved me without a doubt, and I understood in his eyes, he was doing it because he loved me. I always respected him too much to stand up for myself. Part of me regrets that.

Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

I hate to see children estranged from one of there parents. Some people aren't ever able to see what they may be doing wrong. Her mother probably felt her way was right and she couldn't see anything other than her daughter was being disrespectful. It was a relationship that had no chance of continuing as it was. Nicely written. I look forward to the next part.

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024

Thanks, Beth. I don't know yet how long this estrangement will last. I haven't thought that far ahead yet, although I've finished this novel. What I'm getting at here, is that there may be a sequel to this story in which we'll see what eventually happens between Julia and her mother.

Comment from Michael Ludwinder

Excellent

This chapter does a fantastic job showing the emotional tension between Julia and her mother. I love how Brian's determination to support her really shines through - it feels so genuine and heartfelt. The pacing is great. This was well written and an enjoyable read. Great job!

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024

Thank you very much for your kind review, Michael. I hope you'll continue reading Part 2. The pace will pick up as we advance forward in time, and there is a lot of action, emotion, and a bit of science in Part 2. It should be an interesting conclusion to the story.

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

What a bitch! Wow, that anger and relief afterwards are captured superbly. This is all so detailed and credible I have to keep reminding myself it's only fiction. I've been meaning to tell you there's been a lot in the press about the increasing abuse and dangers of the zombie drug, xylazine, a veterinary sedative. So it occurred to me how timely your story is. (you probably don't need me to tell you:)) But, as ever, everyone seems to be behind the curve.
I just wondered if this syntax was slightly better: I learned a great deal (from the group) about addiction?
Another excellent, entertaining chapter. Well done, Jim! Debbie

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024

Thanks very much, Debbie. Oh my, I hadn't heard of the zombie drug, but it seems horrible from what I just read about it. I guess they add it to opioids along with fentanyl to make them stronger, but the effects look terrible. You never know what you're getting when you buy illegal drugs like that.

I hope the drug companies are working on substitutes for opioids the way Brian will be doing because it only seems to be getting worse. It won't stop the recreational users, but at least it will stop those who originally take them for pain from getting addicted, then maybe the opioids won't be manufactured anymore.

I suppose something will always take their place and you just can't stop those who want to get high from finding something to get high with. Where there's demand, there will be supply.

Comment from Tom Horonzy

Excellent

Hmm. I thought this was a fictional piece but now it seems as if it was a part of your past. No need to let me know; I', just working to fill the 150 characteristics requirements. Be well.

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 Comment Written 07-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024

I guess that means it seems realistic. Thank you for that. I will say that this part isn't autobiographical, but other parts within Part 2 will be.

Comment from Wayne Fowler

Excellent

All rightee, then.
But if a hotel was available for Brian, why was it not for Doktor Schmidt? (unless it was too seedy?) Maybe a reminder that Brian is being paid by Dr. Reike?
Best wishes.

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 Comment Written 07-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024

I'm thinking the seedy kind, which Doktor Schmidt would never go to but Brian could afford.