Spirited Justice
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Spirited Justice Chap 20"Mystery, crime and ghostly high jinks
14 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
That was nice of Eleanor to put the hint to Danni to find out about Johan's real citizenship. He better spill the beans now about who hired him to attack Hilda. Too bad as they two seemed to have some chemistry but he's ruined all trust now.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2024
  |
That was nice of Eleanor to put the hint to Danni to find out about Johan's real citizenship. He better spill the beans now about who hired him to attack Hilda. Too bad as they two seemed to have some chemistry but he's ruined all trust now.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2024
-
thanks, Helen. Eleanor recognizes Danni's abilities and the extra little shot of "info" might set her off in the right direction. Donatelli sure had a different attitude toward her...thanks as always.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from LJbutterfly
I am amazed at your ability to create surprises, twists, and turns, one right after the other. I marveled at the carwash scene, but Johan as an American citizen is brilliant. Also, in this chapter, Danni earned a seat at the table. Maybe, as a ghost, she will eventually be promoted. This is another great chapter.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2024
|
I am amazed at your ability to create surprises, twists, and turns, one right after the other. I marveled at the carwash scene, but Johan as an American citizen is brilliant. Also, in this chapter, Danni earned a seat at the table. Maybe, as a ghost, she will eventually be promoted. This is another great chapter.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2024
-
I think Eleanor recognizes Danni's abilities and thought an extra little boost in the right direction may set her down the right path. Donatelli definitely saw her in a different light. I thank you for all your kindness, Lorraine. You are one of the best to have in my cheering section.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
What a shock for Johan. He didn't realize he was an American citizen and what he thinks of as his homeland doesn't intend to interfere with whatever the Americans are wanting from him. Will he mention his connection with Jose and Carlos?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2024
|
What a shock for Johan. He didn't realize he was an American citizen and what he thinks of as his homeland doesn't intend to interfere with whatever the Americans are wanting from him. Will he mention his connection with Jose and Carlos?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2024
-
I know Johan is trembling in his shoes at the moment...left afloat with out a paddle for his canoe.... His fears of the men who hired him and Jose will play a role but he will make the final decision...good or bad. Thanks so much.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from lancellot
This is structurally sound, and I know it is in keeping with how the story is meant to progress. I also know this is fiction (with a ghost) and many writers believe anything goes in fiction. But... German or US citizen doesn't matter. The moment Johan asked for a lawyer, the 5th applied, even TV shows get this now. Even if, Johan entered the US, and somehow didn't know he was, at least, a dual citizen his entire life (when the Det. found out in ten seconds).
Just something to consider.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2024
|
This is structurally sound, and I know it is in keeping with how the story is meant to progress. I also know this is fiction (with a ghost) and many writers believe anything goes in fiction. But... German or US citizen doesn't matter. The moment Johan asked for a lawyer, the 5th applied, even TV shows get this now. Even if, Johan entered the US, and somehow didn't know he was, at least, a dual citizen his entire life (when the Det. found out in ten seconds).
Just something to consider.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2024
-
My thought was that he didn't actually ask for a lawyer..since he believed someone would send him one - either the bad guys or the consulate, he just said he was waiting for one.... does that imply he asked for one? I try to steet clear of legal stuff wht I don't know enough about. Thanks for mentioning it.
Smiles, Carol
