Reviews from

Deal

5-7-5 Poem

28 total reviews 
Comment from Brenda Strauser
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This happens way too often. My sister married a man who hit her.
Poem is written well. The picture is good for thr poem. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
    Thanks, Brenda.
    Yes, it is sad and far too common, as you note with its occurrence within your own family.
    Surprisingly (to me) several reviewers managed to convince themselves that this poem portrayed a happy ending!

    Steve
Comment from jake cosmos aller
Excellent
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A short poem about the emotional plea for forgiveness from a somewhat abusive partner and the power of love to overcome bruises and through the power of love like the image chosen

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
    Thanks, Jake.

    Steve
Comment from Shanbreen
Excellent
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Abused women -- such a sad state of affairs. It's like abusive parents that a young child returns back to because he/she has no place else to go or it is the only place they have known. All the best for the contest.

Some call it love.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
    Thanks.
    Yes, it is sad and far too common.
    Surprisingly (to me) several reviewers managed to convince themselves that this poem portrayed a happy ending!

    Steve
Comment from LJbutterfly
Excellent
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There is an entire story behind the three lines you've cleverly written in your poem. She will have to forgive him many, many times until she's beaten to a pulp. Your well chosen words convey a powerful message. Your chosen picture helps intensify that message. Best wishes in the contest.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
    Thanks, LJ.
    Yes, it is sad and far too common.
    Surprisingly (to me) several reviewers managed to convince themselves that this poem portrayed a happy ending!

    Steve
Comment from jessizero
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This was a tragic three line poem. You got the syllable count right and you wrote it beautifully. Thank you for sharing this poem, and best wishes to you.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
    Thanks, Wendy.
    Yes, it is sad and far too common.
    Surprisingly (to me) several reviewers managed to convince themselves that this poem portrayed a happy ending!

    Steve
Comment from dragonpoet
Excellent
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Hi Steve,
I know this happens. But I can't understand how a woman can stay with an abuser and think his forgiveness will end it.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a wonderful rest of your weekend
Joan

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
    Thanks, Joan.
    Yes, it is sad and far too common.
    Surprisingly (to me) several reviewers managed to convince themselves that this poem portrayed a happy ending!

    Steve
reply by dragonpoet on 08-Sep-2024
    No problem, Steve. I don't see how anyone can see a happy ending to this poem.
    Joan
    PS I just published a book called The Interloper (and other stories in prose and poetry) It is available now on Amazaon.com
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
    I'll take a peek.
Comment from SimianSavant
Excellent
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Really nice work Steve. This shows off exactly what I like about your writing -- saying a lot without spelling it out, yet leaving some ambiguity for other interpretations of that happened. (Heck, maybe she's a FinDom who beat the snot out of him, and has brainwashed him into apologizing for not giving her more money. Maybe he shot a dog he thought was attacking her, and it was her pet. Or maybe it was a more common domestic scenario, which is more suggested by this picture).

I suggest adding a comma after the end of the second line, for clarity.

Thanks for the read,

🦍

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
    Thank you for the review and for digging deeper into possible interpretations. In fact I thought this one was pretty clear, although several reviewers managed to find a happy ending in what I thought was a fairly obvious tragedy.

    Steve
Comment from Jacob1395
Excellent
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This is quite a dark piece, I would hate to think he was the one giving her the bruises as well as there's no way she should be forgiving and going back to him. A well written piece. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
    Thanks, Jacob.
    Yes, it is sad and far too common.
    Surprisingly (to me) several reviewers managed to convince themselves that this poem portrayed a happy ending!

    Steve
Comment from Neonewman
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

So many feelings explode from this short, well-crafted piece, my friend. This feels like it may be about abuse, which always ends with one begging for forgiveness. The issue is, it only enables the behavior.
God bless,
steve

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
    Thanks, Steve
    Yes, it is sad and far too common.
    Surprisingly (to me) several reviewers managed to convince themselves that this poem portrayed a happy ending!

    Steve
reply by Neonewman on 11-Sep-2024
    My pleasure. That's odd, they need to read it again.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
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This is a sad post about domestic abuse and it is okay to forgive once, but all too often this is repeated. A chilling post for the contest Steve, love Dolly x x x

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
    Thanks, Dolly
    Yes, it is sad and far too common.
    Surprisingly (to me) several reviewers managed to convince themselves that this poem portrayed a happy ending!

    Steve