Willing Hearts
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "Chapter 17 B"Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?
29 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
Sami can be so volatile. She changes moods at the drop of a hat. I know she is chafing being under protective custody. (I think I resent she's such an athlete, something I'm not. I still don't think Noah's right for her, as he's too busy to spend time on all her needs. Maybe she'll be different when the trafficking situation is cleared up. It sounds like they're getting close to wrapping it up. Great dialogue. I still feel like Noah and Sami's advisor. Something I've been thinking about--maybe you could just give a brief summary of what happened previously instead of including the last part of the chapter. judi
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
  |
Sami can be so volatile. She changes moods at the drop of a hat. I know she is chafing being under protective custody. (I think I resent she's such an athlete, something I'm not. I still don't think Noah's right for her, as he's too busy to spend time on all her needs. Maybe she'll be different when the trafficking situation is cleared up. It sounds like they're getting close to wrapping it up. Great dialogue. I still feel like Noah and Sami's advisor. Something I've been thinking about--maybe you could just give a brief summary of what happened previously instead of including the last part of the chapter. judi
Comment Written 26-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
-
Thank you for the kind review. We'll have to wait and see how things turn out.
-
You're welcome. You have me going, trying to determine their future! I'll let you take care of it. judi
Comment from royowen
The relationships in your stories are remarkably short, but I guess when it comes to be harassed by nasties that's all it would take, but it dies seem longer because of the episodic reading, a nicely written episode, I like your manly men, and feisty, independent and yet, romantic,heroines, beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
 |
The relationships in your stories are remarkably short, but I guess when it comes to be harassed by nasties that's all it would take, but it dies seem longer because of the episodic reading, a nicely written episode, I like your manly men, and feisty, independent and yet, romantic,heroines, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 26-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
-
The relationship needs to be condensed because of space and words. In real life, I'd want them to take longer to develop. Thank you for the kind review.
-
Well done, they can be short and positive too.
Comment from Ice Traigh
Conversation is solidly constructed, flowed well, and felt natural. Spelling and grammar are excellent. This author knows what they are doing!
There's nothing that I can really critique here, which is good! Maybe the only thing I could offer is that it seemed like a lull in the action. Everyone's kind of waiting, dinner is being made, and there's a small thump upstairs to break up the calmness. That's it; nothing too exciting. Now that critique might be misplaced in that every story needs a little break or down-swing. So maybe I just caught the breather moment with this random chapter and everything goes to heck in the next part!
Either way, very well done. :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
 |
Conversation is solidly constructed, flowed well, and felt natural. Spelling and grammar are excellent. This author knows what they are doing!
There's nothing that I can really critique here, which is good! Maybe the only thing I could offer is that it seemed like a lull in the action. Everyone's kind of waiting, dinner is being made, and there's a small thump upstairs to break up the calmness. That's it; nothing too exciting. Now that critique might be misplaced in that every story needs a little break or down-swing. So maybe I just caught the breather moment with this random chapter and everything goes to heck in the next part!
Either way, very well done. :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
-
Yes, they are in the middle of trying to catch a human trafficking ring and illegal aliens in the area. We just had a storm and will soon have another one. This novel is over half over. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lyenochka
I'm impressed that you know about Krag Maga - the Israel self defense art. I also liked the idea of someone from the police force to be present at a school talk. I wish that happened more. It brings the police into the community.
I am glad that Sami and Noah understand each other. Both seem to have the love language of "acts of service." It seems for Sarah, "words" are more important.
One question:
"I'm fine." He helped her stand. (Since is Sami talking here I found it confusing to have "He" right here. Is there some rule about action tags matching the speaker?)
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
|
I'm impressed that you know about Krag Maga - the Israel self defense art. I also liked the idea of someone from the police force to be present at a school talk. I wish that happened more. It brings the police into the community.
I am glad that Sami and Noah understand each other. Both seem to have the love language of "acts of service." It seems for Sarah, "words" are more important.
One question:
"I'm fine." He helped her stand. (Since is Sami talking here I found it confusing to have "He" right here. Is there some rule about action tags matching the speaker?)
Comment Written 26-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
-
Very good question. I honestly don't know. It's an easy fix so it will definitely be correct. Thank you for pointing it out.
Comment from Sanku
Sami understands Noah's reluctance to speak out his feelings .Both of them are really cautious in proceeding further=because of the situation they are in..
Since you wondered if we are really reading your posts ,I have been paying a bit more attention to the written words..I am not sure if it is a typo.."I am hoping the school board will all allow me to add it...'
wondered if 'all ' is really needed.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
|
Sami understands Noah's reluctance to speak out his feelings .Both of them are really cautious in proceeding further=because of the situation they are in..
Since you wondered if we are really reading your posts ,I have been paying a bit more attention to the written words..I am not sure if it is a typo.."I am hoping the school board will all allow me to add it...'
wondered if 'all ' is really needed.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
-
You're correct, the 'al'l should be deleted. Thank you for the catch. I appreciate it.
Comment from Wendy G
Sami understands Noah's reticence but it will be hard for her to cope with that on a long term basis. Maybe he'll get better as time goes by and they are not in this difficult situation.
Even so I am surprised Sami is thinking of marriage after only 22 days.
However, it's a fine and well written story and I am enjoying it a lot.
Wendy
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
|
Sami understands Noah's reticence but it will be hard for her to cope with that on a long term basis. Maybe he'll get better as time goes by and they are not in this difficult situation.
Even so I am surprised Sami is thinking of marriage after only 22 days.
However, it's a fine and well written story and I am enjoying it a lot.
Wendy
Comment Written 26-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
-
I think Sami and Sarah were just daydreaming. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Noah is gradually saying more and doing more to show Sami he really cares for her. Now he has mentioned a future together after the case is over. It sure looks like love is in the air.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
|
Noah is gradually saying more and doing more to show Sami he really cares for her. Now he has mentioned a future together after the case is over. It sure looks like love is in the air.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
So, although arrests have been made, they still need to be on the alert lest there be more illegal aliens in the area. There is a more relaxed atmosphere though, one in which they feel able to break the monotony playing games. No errors found and some excellent dialogue as both Sami and Noah seem to be thinking increasingly of a world beyond their present surroundings. Thanks for sharing Barbara. Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
|
So, although arrests have been made, they still need to be on the alert lest there be more illegal aliens in the area. There is a more relaxed atmosphere though, one in which they feel able to break the monotony playing games. No errors found and some excellent dialogue as both Sami and Noah seem to be thinking increasingly of a world beyond their present surroundings. Thanks for sharing Barbara. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 25-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from GWHARGIS
I'm so glad that Noah is coming out of his shell more and more. He seems to be a pursuing man now. He understands he is in live and that she loves him but duty and responsibility are still in the way. Great chapter, Barbara. Gretchen
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
|
I'm so glad that Noah is coming out of his shell more and more. He seems to be a pursuing man now. He understands he is in live and that she loves him but duty and responsibility are still in the way. Great chapter, Barbara. Gretchen
Comment Written 25-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Shanbreen
Barbara, I love your well-written story because it gets me right into the plot.
BTW, there is a typo that you could correct: "...he watched Noah go into the living room before he spoked with Bob, ..." The spoked is spoke, right?
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2024
|
Barbara, I love your well-written story because it gets me right into the plot.
BTW, there is a typo that you could correct: "...he watched Noah go into the living room before he spoked with Bob, ..." The spoked is spoke, right?
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2024
-
You're correct. I will get on that immediately. I appreciate you pointing it out. Thank you.
