The Dollar Store
A woman muses during a robbery at a dollar store38 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
The story was hard to follow for me. She went to the dollar store but wasn't supposed to? Or, you didn't tell your husband where you were going? Or, you feel guilty because one time the guy who does your nails brushed your boob and you liked it. The writing is tangled. At least it is for me. Karen
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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The story was hard to follow for me. She went to the dollar store but wasn't supposed to? Or, you didn't tell your husband where you were going? Or, you feel guilty because one time the guy who does your nails brushed your boob and you liked it. The writing is tangled. At least it is for me. Karen
Comment Written 16-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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She went to the dollar store to buy towels. While she was there a robbery took place. While that robbery is taking place. We're looking into her mind and her thoughts.
She didn't tell her husband that she went to go get manicure, that she went to the hair salon. She feels guilty about that because of what happened with Pete.
so she wants to atone for her sin with her husband and she's hoping that she's going to live to do that. if you just look at all of her comments, you will see that she hadn't told him where she gone because she felt guilty about what happened when her manuricure occurred
Thank you for the nice review
Comment from Samantha Wymer
I felt like I was in the the women's head and felt what she felt. I love that you picked the dollar store for the scene of the story. Great job writing this
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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I felt like I was in the the women's head and felt what she felt. I love that you picked the dollar store for the scene of the story. Great job writing this
Comment Written 16-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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Thank you for your lovely comments. I appreciate your review.
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Anytime
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, The Dollar Store, presented with fifteen AABB-rhymed quatrains, captures these tense moments with a nod to humor, which most people know comes from the same place as fear.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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This poem, The Dollar Store, presented with fifteen AABB-rhymed quatrains, captures these tense moments with a nod to humor, which most people know comes from the same place as fear.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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That's very profound Bill, but you're right whatever thoughts come do come from fear. But she seemed fearless didn't she? and that's why she could be humorous. So you're exactly right. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Wendy G
You related very well this dramatic story in a poem. It maintained the interest throughout. I am glad no one was killed or injured. And yes, there would be a need to debrief after the event. Well done.
Wendy
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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You related very well this dramatic story in a poem. It maintained the interest throughout. I am glad no one was killed or injured. And yes, there would be a need to debrief after the event. Well done.
Wendy
Comment Written 16-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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Thank you Wendy for your lovely comments and a great review
Comment from Brenda Strauser
I enjoyed reading your poem. I found it quite funny. You have a good imagination. It us written well.
The dollar store did raise their prices. Very nice job!
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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I enjoyed reading your poem. I found it quite funny. You have a good imagination. It us written well.
The dollar store did raise their prices. Very nice job!
Comment Written 15-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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Thank you for your lovely comments and for the excellent rating
Comment from Chip Whitley
This line made me laugh, "I wasn't having any fun." Yeah, I'll bet! Haha! What a wonderfully written piece. The imagery is top-notch and I felt like I could touch the realism.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2024
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This line made me laugh, "I wasn't having any fun." Yeah, I'll bet! Haha! What a wonderfully written piece. The imagery is top-notch and I felt like I could touch the realism.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2024
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Thank you for your wonderful and humorous comments and for the extra star it is much appreciated
Comment from LJbutterfly
I enjoyed the fact that the rhythm was consistent throughout your humorous story in a poem. The rhythm made the poem easy to read. Wow! What a creative story. I shop the dollar store often. I'll think of this the next time. Great job.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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I enjoyed the fact that the rhythm was consistent throughout your humorous story in a poem. The rhythm made the poem easy to read. Wow! What a creative story. I shop the dollar store often. I'll think of this the next time. Great job.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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I hope you don't run into a robbery but if you do, you may think about the same thing she did specially if you're hungry.
You might have to go to the bathroom and the robber won't let you. You might want to atone for something you did
You never know what's gonna happen. What's gonna run through your mind at a time like that
Anyway thanks for the wonderful comments
Comment from TPAC
That would alter ones day, hanging on the borderline between life and death. Fear governing the occurrence, taking breath after breath, pondering all sorts of things. Apparently, no one got harmed: but the reality of another sequence could have made that difference. Lucky.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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That would alter ones day, hanging on the borderline between life and death. Fear governing the occurrence, taking breath after breath, pondering all sorts of things. Apparently, no one got harmed: but the reality of another sequence could have made that difference. Lucky.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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You are right. But many people think about their sins when they think they might die. This was just to get inside her head
Thank you for the great review
Comment from royowen
I think you have a great imagination dear Pam, I have only attempted fiction a few times, and managed them OK, but it's not my strength, their are so many talented writers in this world, and some have come and gone from FS, but you rank among the best I've seen Pam, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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I think you have a great imagination dear Pam, I have only attempted fiction a few times, and managed them OK, but it's not my strength, their are so many talented writers in this world, and some have come and gone from FS, but you rank among the best I've seen Pam, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 15-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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Roy. I want you to know that you have encouraged me so much and you have made me a better writer just by reading your poems.
Thank you for your wonderful comments
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Roy. I want you to know that you have encouraged me so much and you have made me a better writer just by reading your poems.
Thank you for your wonderful comments
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Bless you
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Bless you too, God's scribe
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Bless you
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Bless you too, Roy. You're always encouraging me.
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You are a God favourite Pam
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Thank you that makes me feel good and you know what my grandson has gone to a psychiatrist and gotten medication and he's doing a lot better. He's been able to go back to work. That makes me feel good because I've spent a lot of time with him, trying to convince him to get medicines for his illness.
Comment from Nicki.B
Hahaha! This is so good, what a laugh...the fact there was a full blown armed robbery taking place and there she is drifting off in her thoughts about this and that.
I chuckled when you said she was feeling hungry and then after that wanting a drink for alcohol, lol!
A normal person's main focus is to stay alive
Or in such sheer panic they go into shock.
Seeing their life flash before their eyes lol
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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Hahaha! This is so good, what a laugh...the fact there was a full blown armed robbery taking place and there she is drifting off in her thoughts about this and that.
I chuckled when you said she was feeling hungry and then after that wanting a drink for alcohol, lol!
A normal person's main focus is to stay alive
Or in such sheer panic they go into shock.
Seeing their life flash before their eyes lol
Comment Written 15-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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Yes. It was meant to be humorous, but some people thought that was not to be shared with robbery. We don't know how people act in a robbery I mean, obviously they want to be somewhere else which is another thing she said, and they may examine sins or other things they did and regret them and want to atone for them if they live, all that was in her thoughts it seem to me that a certain percentage of people would think exactly as she did. What do you do during a robbery when you're hungry don't you wish for a snack just because there's a robbery going on you're not hungry.
I could never please everyone there's always someone. I stop saying criticism well because that just encourages people to pick at it and I never retaliate just because somebody does that to me. I don't do it to them. They have errors I'll point them out, but I won't Beat them down over it
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Yes. It was meant to be humorous, but some people thought that was not to be shared with robbery. We don't know how people act in a robbery I mean, obviously they want to be somewhere else which is another thing she said, and they may examine sins or other things they did and regret them and want to atone for them if they live, all that was in her thoughts it seem to me that a certain percentage of people would think exactly as she did. What do you do during a robbery when you're hungry don't you wish for a snack just because there's a robbery going on you're not hungry.
I could never please everyone there's always someone. I stop saying criticism well because that just encourages people to pick at it and I never retaliate just because somebody does that to me. I don't do it to them. They have errors I'll point them out, but I won't Beat them down over it
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Take no notice of them! As you say you cannot please everyone! My poetry isn't for everyone's taste either, don't let it get to you. But I understand where you are coming from aswell, as they say, 'if you've nothing nice to say, don't say it all!' Take care x
