The Girl From Cootabangla
Rhyming Story Poem18 total reviews
Comment from Neonewman
My friend, I'm out of sixes, so it'll have to be virtual. You are quite the clever poet, telling a story in this manner. The flow was magnificent. Thank you for sharing and I feel this will be the contest winner.
God bless,
Steve
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
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My friend, I'm out of sixes, so it'll have to be virtual. You are quite the clever poet, telling a story in this manner. The flow was magnificent. Thank you for sharing and I feel this will be the contest winner.
God bless,
Steve
Comment Written 13-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
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Thanks, Steve, I appreciate the virtual six. I do have quite a back catalogue of story poems. If I ever summon up the energy I intend to publish a book of them.
Steve
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That sounds like a great plan. My pleasure.
Comment from Begin Again
A set-up, I see. And Molly was part of the sting! Very clever poem and you wove the story smoothly from beginning to end. Good luck in the contest.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
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A set-up, I see. And Molly was part of the sting! Very clever poem and you wove the story smoothly from beginning to end. Good luck in the contest.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 13-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
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Thanks, Carol. Yes, beware the unreliable narrator - a sting from start to finish!
Fun to write, though!
Steve
Comment from royowen
What a clever poem, and so many familiar characters, in lyrical and creative verse. You have a rate gift, the ability to work flow and intonation into unforced rhyme, as I've been led to believe is a rare gift. I've written a lot of actual songs which I've been able to professionally record and entertain with. But I knew nothing about poetry until I joined FS, This is brilliant. Steve, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
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What a clever poem, and so many familiar characters, in lyrical and creative verse. You have a rate gift, the ability to work flow and intonation into unforced rhyme, as I've been led to believe is a rare gift. I've written a lot of actual songs which I've been able to professionally record and entertain with. But I knew nothing about poetry until I joined FS, This is brilliant. Steve, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 13-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
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Roy, many thanks for the fine review and the extra star - much appreciated. The piece is not garnering many reviews - perhaps a little long for some.
I have seen your own skill levels go up in the field of rhyming verse over your years here and I am not surprised that your poems can be turned into songs. No ear for music myself, but I do seem to have the knack to capture poetic meter.
This kind of rhyming verse was probably my introduction to poetry - my father had books of poems by both Banjo Patterson and Robert Service.
Steve
Comment from Katiemae1977
Quite an undertaking sir and you do it so well. An excellent entry for the rhyming poem contest
I love story poems and you've woven a great story here.
Good luck and I hope you do well in the contest!
Katiemae1977
Drusilla1
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
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Quite an undertaking sir and you do it so well. An excellent entry for the rhyming poem contest
I love story poems and you've woven a great story here.
Good luck and I hope you do well in the contest!
Katiemae1977
Drusilla1
Comment Written 13-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
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Thanks, Drusilla. I was hoping to publish a collection of my story poems this year, but as usual my intentions have given way to other matters. Perhaps if I got going now I could get it out in time for Christmas.
Steve
Comment from Pearl Edwards
I think you got the flow right with your story in this well rhymed poem about the Girl from Cootabangla and her weedy lover and con-mate. Loved this Steve and yes I enjoyed the similarities to The man from snowy river. Good luck in the contest.
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
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I think you got the flow right with your story in this well rhymed poem about the Girl from Cootabangla and her weedy lover and con-mate. Loved this Steve and yes I enjoyed the similarities to The man from snowy river. Good luck in the contest.
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 13-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
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Thanks, Valda. I memorised The Man From Snowy River when I was quite young - my Dad had a book of Banjo Patterson's verses. Later I tried to analyse the rhythmical structure of the piece and it is actually quite complex, a mixture of iambic and anapaestic metre. Luckily I have some sort of knack for those things.
Steve
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
You told a nice story, but being I am old and with a head full of smarts, I knew which way the wind was blowing. If I was a guy, I'd pick Maureen O'hara. She can sing too. Karen
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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
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You told a nice story, but being I am old and with a head full of smarts, I knew which way the wind was blowing. If I was a guy, I'd pick Maureen O'hara. She can sing too. Karen
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Comment Written 13-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
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Thank you!
Can't fool the old folks, huh?!
I just plucked those three names out of thin air. Garbo is the outlier, earlier than the others. There is a slight family connection to Lake - we met her daughter and my son had a brief relationship with her granddaughter when we were living on Waiheke Island in New Zealand in the 90s.
Steve
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Did her granddaughter wear her hair over one eye too? :-)
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is an epic and magical write, I loved the metre, rhymes and sentiments and your imaginative and clever words entertained and amused here Steve. Your poem is refreshing humorous and a joy to read. Thank goodness I have a six left as this deserves one and I reckon this will win the contest. I just loved it, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
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This is an epic and magical write, I loved the metre, rhymes and sentiments and your imaginative and clever words entertained and amused here Steve. Your poem is refreshing humorous and a joy to read. Thank goodness I have a six left as this deserves one and I reckon this will win the contest. I just loved it, love Dolly x
Comment Written 12-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
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Hi, Dolly. many thanks for the outstanding review and the extra shiny star - much appreciated. Glad you enjoyed this story. It was fun to write.
Steve
Comment from lyenochka
Virtual six, Steve! I first thought - what a long poem! But then you made it entertaining all the way through with the suspense about whether the narrator would survive the champion boxer, Milly Brown. But of course, he did cheat as they were already an item. Your ending then made the reader surprised twice. Best wishes in the contest!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
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Virtual six, Steve! I first thought - what a long poem! But then you made it entertaining all the way through with the suspense about whether the narrator would survive the champion boxer, Milly Brown. But of course, he did cheat as they were already an item. Your ending then made the reader surprised twice. Best wishes in the contest!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
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Helen, thanks for the review and the virtual Sixer. You must have spent your real ones quickly this week!
Not getting many reviews, perhaps because of the length so I appreciate you wading through this to the end and enjoying the couple of twists!
Steve
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Your writing is always super, Steve!
And yes, I often use up my sixes by Sunday which is probably your Monday.