The Unpresence
Death sentence of an absent man15 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Oh my. I do hope you plan on expanding this story. I would love to read more. One hears all the time not to let your luggage out of your sight in airports. Truth is stranger than fiction. Thank you for sharing.
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reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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Oh my. I do hope you plan on expanding this story. I would love to read more. One hears all the time not to let your luggage out of your sight in airports. Truth is stranger than fiction. Thank you for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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Thanks, Barbara.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Most writing splashes current emotions like paintballs splattered on a concrete wall. Scattered and pattern-less. But your talents reach deeper all the time, making readers feel the elements that build the tension. Thanks for sharing.
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reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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Most writing splashes current emotions like paintballs splattered on a concrete wall. Scattered and pattern-less. But your talents reach deeper all the time, making readers feel the elements that build the tension. Thanks for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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Thanks, Ric. Beautiful review.
Comment from GWHARGIS
This was quite powerful. As they say, no good deed goes unpunished. The sad thing is, stuff like this happens a lot. It happens too much. People in the drug trafficking line, hold no regard for innocence. Poor Johnny, at least his last thoughts were happier ones. Great story. Gretchen
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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This was quite powerful. As they say, no good deed goes unpunished. The sad thing is, stuff like this happens a lot. It happens too much. People in the drug trafficking line, hold no regard for innocence. Poor Johnny, at least his last thoughts were happier ones. Great story. Gretchen
Comment Written 04-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much, Gretchen.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Your wonderful writing always has to be read at least a second time to absorb all the subtle details. And what poignancy here! Your protagonist was so locked into the past that he never questioned the present or his compliance with everything that was asked of him. Relatable to us all at times. Love that imagery of the tight rope cutting off his oxygen, depicting not just his ultimate demise but also the way in which he had chosen to live his life, without the oxygen of actually living. Sublime and memorable every time we look back too much on our past and what might have been. Well done, Bruce! Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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Your wonderful writing always has to be read at least a second time to absorb all the subtle details. And what poignancy here! Your protagonist was so locked into the past that he never questioned the present or his compliance with everything that was asked of him. Relatable to us all at times. Love that imagery of the tight rope cutting off his oxygen, depicting not just his ultimate demise but also the way in which he had chosen to live his life, without the oxygen of actually living. Sublime and memorable every time we look back too much on our past and what might have been. Well done, Bruce! Take care Debbie
Comment Written 04-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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Thank you very much, Debbie.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Aha! This was written from the AWC's prompts! Age and black feet, so seamlessly weaved into that first sentence. So much so, that I missed them the first time.
Jenny Bride has a different name, and I wonder if she's a woman he loved but never was with - he "missed his shot" - because of his obedience to his family.
Terry Kerry is a fake name if I've ever heard one, and import & export services? Right. Poor sucker.
There's a lot to think about with this short story, and it leaves me wishing Johnny McClintock would have had the chance to at least jaywalk that empty crosswalk.
Knowing where you started from with this, I appreciate it even more.
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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Aha! This was written from the AWC's prompts! Age and black feet, so seamlessly weaved into that first sentence. So much so, that I missed them the first time.
Jenny Bride has a different name, and I wonder if she's a woman he loved but never was with - he "missed his shot" - because of his obedience to his family.
Terry Kerry is a fake name if I've ever heard one, and import & export services? Right. Poor sucker.
There's a lot to think about with this short story, and it leaves me wishing Johnny McClintock would have had the chance to at least jaywalk that empty crosswalk.
Knowing where you started from with this, I appreciate it even more.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 04-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much, Pam. It's always fun to read and compare our stories for the FF comp.