In Need of A Friend
A prayer, a hug, just a shoulder to cry on33 total reviews
Comment from jenintorre
I really enjoyed reading this excellent piece that you have written and can so relate to it.
I found one mistake - I could (used) use a glass of wine.
A great entry for the competition. Good luck and best wishes. Jen.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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I really enjoyed reading this excellent piece that you have written and can so relate to it.
I found one mistake - I could (used) use a glass of wine.
A great entry for the competition. Good luck and best wishes. Jen.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I'm a bit calmer today ... though I did manage a little humor when writing yesterday. It's frustrating especially since I don't know how I did it, but I wrote it once and I can write it again.
Appreciate your kindness.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Goodness, Carol! This is awful to read, on so many levels. I'm sorry that this brought you to tears, but I absolutely understand what you were feeling, and you have nothing to apologize for. Cry, girl!
You not only pulled yourself together to "begin again", but you've done so with grace and an amazing sense of humor. You'll be fine today, and I toast you over that glass of wine I know will wait at the end of the day. We'll post to better things, as you may very well have written better chapters than what was there before.
I wish you the best of luck recovering, or completely rewriting, what was lost.
Thanks for sharing.
xoxo
Pam
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Goodness, Carol! This is awful to read, on so many levels. I'm sorry that this brought you to tears, but I absolutely understand what you were feeling, and you have nothing to apologize for. Cry, girl!
You not only pulled yourself together to "begin again", but you've done so with grace and an amazing sense of humor. You'll be fine today, and I toast you over that glass of wine I know will wait at the end of the day. We'll post to better things, as you may very well have written better chapters than what was there before.
I wish you the best of luck recovering, or completely rewriting, what was lost.
Thanks for sharing.
xoxo
Pam
Comment Written 04-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Rewrite is in the works, but I'm struggling. Every time I start I tell myself no I don't think that's how it was.... I've got to get out of that mode and just write something entirely new... I hate arguing with myself because neither side ever thinks they are wrong. LOL Thanks so much for the encouragement, Pam. I truly appreciate it.
Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh, Carol. I've been away again and if I'd known you were sitting there in a black cloud, I'd have tried to come on line. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you.
I've just read one of your chapters, and was about to read the latest when I read your reply to the one I'd written. You are not alone in the losing chapters syndrome, I have done that and I know of others here who have too. As for losing words!!!! I'm forever doing that, and that's the reason I can only post one chapter a week, it takes me forever!! I can write poems easily, but prose is a lot harder for me. I'm often telling Graham about you and your amazing stories, you're incredible! don't put yourself down, you've been writing so much lately, the write a novel in a month! Crikey, that was an incredible acheivement, and you've done it twice!!!!! Pat yourself on the back, my girl, and achnowledge your acheivements, and ignore those silly moments that come to us all. Love you lots, my dear friend. xxxx
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Oh, Carol. I've been away again and if I'd known you were sitting there in a black cloud, I'd have tried to come on line. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you.
I've just read one of your chapters, and was about to read the latest when I read your reply to the one I'd written. You are not alone in the losing chapters syndrome, I have done that and I know of others here who have too. As for losing words!!!! I'm forever doing that, and that's the reason I can only post one chapter a week, it takes me forever!! I can write poems easily, but prose is a lot harder for me. I'm often telling Graham about you and your amazing stories, you're incredible! don't put yourself down, you've been writing so much lately, the write a novel in a month! Crikey, that was an incredible acheivement, and you've done it twice!!!!! Pat yourself on the back, my girl, and achnowledge your acheivements, and ignore those silly moments that come to us all. Love you lots, my dear friend. xxxx
Comment Written 04-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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I guess I took over my dad's place ...because I know no one is harder on me than myself. I can't imagine what I did but it had to be me (or so Matt says). It just knocked me on my butt for a minute or two. I'll be okay. Thanks for the encouragement as always.
Love ya, Carol
Comment from Pam (respa)
I'm sorry you lost your story and that is caused such anxiety for you, Carol. I can understand your feelings. The worst part is not knowing what happened to your work. I believe that some of it comes with age. One of the things that happens to me is I'll put something down where I usually do and then can't find it. Sometimes it turns up and sometimes I don't know where it went.
I also think we work ourselves into a more anxious frame of mind because we worry. You do have friends here, and I would think most understand your situation and want to offer encouragement in the best way they know how. I think you have the right idea of sitting of the deck and watching the river go by. Take care and have a good day. Hope things work out easier than you think.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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I'm sorry you lost your story and that is caused such anxiety for you, Carol. I can understand your feelings. The worst part is not knowing what happened to your work. I believe that some of it comes with age. One of the things that happens to me is I'll put something down where I usually do and then can't find it. Sometimes it turns up and sometimes I don't know where it went.
I also think we work ourselves into a more anxious frame of mind because we worry. You do have friends here, and I would think most understand your situation and want to offer encouragement in the best way they know how. I think you have the right idea of sitting of the deck and watching the river go by. Take care and have a good day. Hope things work out easier than you think.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Thank you, Pam! I know accidents happen and I must have did something wrong (or so my son says) so there is no one to blame but myself. I freaked at first (stress) but I am getting calmer though it's difficult to start again. Not that I won't, I just need to accept that it's gone and I've got to start over. I really appreciate your thoughts and kindness.
Smiles, Carol
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You are very welcome, Carol. I don't know if you are a fast worker. I used to be that way. Maybe take things slower and take time to check that you have saved work, etc. Also, on FS, it's a good idea to check that your work is saved each time you finish with it. I assume you have a Word file or use Google Docs. Make sure your work is saved in one of those, too.
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I thought everything was but I used a cleaner and also updated my computer and I think that might have had something to do with it/
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That could be it. I wouldn't use anything that you aren't sure what it will do. Do you have family nearby that can help with your computer when you need it? The regular updates shouldn't have been a problem. Make sure you read what the update is about. If it is just standard update, you need to do that. If it indicates something new and it's optional, I would leave that alone.
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I believe it was soemthing I probably should have stayed away from. I have family but when I need something it never happens. the street only runs one way.
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Thanks for sharing everything. Take care, and let us know how things are going once in a while.
Comment from karenina
I've been praying all day, hoping those three chapters would appear after a reset point, or stuck in a cloud...
You have had a very emotionally challenging week, Carol.
Then you revisited the trauma of childhood.
I held out hope you'd posted them here but not "released" them to post yet...
If there is one thing I can say is you ARE resilient... as you describe yourself!
You've lost your chapters, but not your mind!
How wise were you when you chose your pen name?
Now you know to post as you write them.
If others don't want to read them all at once they can take their sweet time!
Your story will be better than ever...because you do not let setbacks keep you down!
You know I love you...
If it helps, I cried for you!
Back to the book when you are ready...
And please always know I'm here!
Karenina
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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I've been praying all day, hoping those three chapters would appear after a reset point, or stuck in a cloud...
You have had a very emotionally challenging week, Carol.
Then you revisited the trauma of childhood.
I held out hope you'd posted them here but not "released" them to post yet...
If there is one thing I can say is you ARE resilient... as you describe yourself!
You've lost your chapters, but not your mind!
How wise were you when you chose your pen name?
Now you know to post as you write them.
If others don't want to read them all at once they can take their sweet time!
Your story will be better than ever...because you do not let setbacks keep you down!
You know I love you...
If it helps, I cried for you!
Back to the book when you are ready...
And please always know I'm here!
Karenina
Comment Written 04-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Here I sit in the middle of the night again...because the story was on my mind.... but actually, it's because for those few minutes, I thought I might have lost my mind. I was terrified! How silly that I let my imagination go wild like that. I don't know how I did it or where the chapters went, but I knew though that with effort I can write knew ones. Maybe not quite the same, but good ones. That's the key... I can write again. So, I'm heart broken but I'll be okay.
Thanks for caring and for being there. I so appreciate you all the time.
Hugs and love, Carol
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You're the best...
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And you, sweet girl, are my one person cheering squad and I thank you.
smiles and hugs....
Comment from Lindsey Russell
I did this same thing just last month. I'm just saying you're not alone. I've done it twice now, once with my first post. Miraculously, what I rewrote I liked better than the general path of what I originally wrote. I pray that happens for you. You can do this! Hugs!
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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I did this same thing just last month. I'm just saying you're not alone. I've done it twice now, once with my first post. Miraculously, what I rewrote I liked better than the general path of what I originally wrote. I pray that happens for you. You can do this! Hugs!
Comment Written 03-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Thanks, Lindsey. It was such a shock at the moment, and I freaked when I couldn't remember anything. (Stress!) I am thankful that I can write again and chalk it up to a mistake. Appreciate your review and kindness.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
Oh Carol, how absolutely heartbreaking. I do understand, and it is a terrible feeling. Not only to lose them but to second guess your own mind. However, if you try to delete something, does it not ask you if you are sure you want to delete that particular folder? I am sure you would have noticed such a message. Do you have a tech ally who can see if they are backed up on the hard drive? Did you save them to the cloud instead of to their appropriate file? Or under a different name, perhaps into a different story's folder?
Meanwhile, I am sending you a huge hug, my long arms reaching from Australia. I am also sending Sunny to your lap for you to stroke and pat him. His role is to reduce your anxiety and blood pressure. I am also praying for peace in your mind, and calmness to replace the panic and distress. My heart is aching for you. And I also wish you the best for the true story contest, but what a shame this had to be your true story.
Sending you much love.
Wendy
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Oh Carol, how absolutely heartbreaking. I do understand, and it is a terrible feeling. Not only to lose them but to second guess your own mind. However, if you try to delete something, does it not ask you if you are sure you want to delete that particular folder? I am sure you would have noticed such a message. Do you have a tech ally who can see if they are backed up on the hard drive? Did you save them to the cloud instead of to their appropriate file? Or under a different name, perhaps into a different story's folder?
Meanwhile, I am sending you a huge hug, my long arms reaching from Australia. I am also sending Sunny to your lap for you to stroke and pat him. His role is to reduce your anxiety and blood pressure. I am also praying for peace in your mind, and calmness to replace the panic and distress. My heart is aching for you. And I also wish you the best for the true story contest, but what a shame this had to be your true story.
Sending you much love.
Wendy
Comment Written 03-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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I think it was the second guessing that got me the most. A sudden reality check that there will come a time when I can't write or remember. I've had the little episodes before and I laugh them off, but this one was big (at least for me) and I couldn't laugh. Now, here I sit in the middle of the night being consoled by friends and knowing it's not the end of the world. For now, I can Begin Again.
Thanks for the awesome message and for Sunny. You can't imagine my smile when I read it. And your words were so kind and comforting. I appreciate you and Sunny beyond words.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
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Of course it IS a big deal. But somehow I doubt you would have deleted them, so I am praying that you will somehow find them. I would check the dates of everything, no matter what folder, and look into anything written recently. It is such a ghastly feeling to think you will have to redo all that work.
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Today is another day and I will look once again, but I fear when I updated the computer and did a disc clean, they were erased somehow. At least that's what my son tells me probably happened. A silly error on my part that cost me.... but it's not life or death. I was just scared when I couldn't remember anything... thanks, Wendy! I'll just start again.
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You probably went into shock. And then more or less had a brain freeze, which can happen with shock. Anyway we will all be waiting with excitement for the next chapter!
Comment from royowen
I was on a collaborative songwriting trip to another state, where of my collaborative fellows lived, we were in a house in the hills, it was about 5:00 am, when I woke to absolute blackness, I felt absolutely helpless and knew what it was like to be in a Godless universe, with absolutely no hope, it spawned a song that day, I think it was God showing me what I came from, it's an experience of terror, God has planted a story in you Carol, Jesus felt the same thing on the cross, 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me!' well done Carol, , blessings Roy
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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I was on a collaborative songwriting trip to another state, where of my collaborative fellows lived, we were in a house in the hills, it was about 5:00 am, when I woke to absolute blackness, I felt absolutely helpless and knew what it was like to be in a Godless universe, with absolutely no hope, it spawned a song that day, I think it was God showing me what I came from, it's an experience of terror, God has planted a story in you Carol, Jesus felt the same thing on the cross, 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me!' well done Carol, , blessings Roy
Comment Written 03-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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One thing I know for sure, Roy, is God gave me this second chance to write again....and I mean since I came back to FS...I have a totally different attitude when I sit down at the computer. I don't know exactly what I am suppose to be offering, but I am sure he will lead me in the right way. I was terrified when I couldn't remember anything nor find the chapters, but I found peace in reaching out to my friends (something that isn't really easy for me) I give - not take.
The chapters are gone and I don't know how or why, but I do know it's a reminder that I'm not alone, I can write again and who knows it might be even better.
thanks for always being there.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
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Oh yes indeed, He is there right there Carol
Comment from jessizero
On the plus side, this was a great entry to the true story contest. I'm sending big virtual hugs your way. I am sorry you seem to have lost your work. I know the FanStory family is here for you for support, friendship, and love. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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On the plus side, this was a great entry to the true story contest. I'm sending big virtual hugs your way. I am sorry you seem to have lost your work. I know the FanStory family is here for you for support, friendship, and love. Best wishes.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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That's right, Jessi! Thanks for putting a smile on my face and telling me to look for the good, not the bad. (the silver lining)
I was terrified for a moment...thoughts of losing my mind and not writing overwhelmed me. But once I reached out and got grounded again, I realized that whatever happened happened, but I can write again.
And having friends for reassurance is wonderful!
Thanks so much.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from lyenochka
I have absolute confidence that you will "begin again" - besides it's all in your portfolio, right? Even if you lost your draft, you will be inspired to write a new draft and weave your story perhaps in a new direction?
By the way, if the gremlins of the past bothered you, do you think you may have put some of the text under a different title while working on that?
Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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I have absolute confidence that you will "begin again" - besides it's all in your portfolio, right? Even if you lost your draft, you will be inspired to write a new draft and weave your story perhaps in a new direction?
By the way, if the gremlins of the past bothered you, do you think you may have put some of the text under a different title while working on that?
Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 03-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Nope...the three chapters are Gone With The Wind! I just freaked, more so because I couldn't remember (stress) and I let things from the past slip in too!
But I am okay now and it's awesome to know that I can always reach out to my friends (something I don't do often) and they'll help me get back up.
I guess choosing "Begin Again" as my name holds more meaning then I ever thought. But I have faith that the Lord will give me strength (he always has) and I will write it again.
Thank you as always.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
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I think your new chapters will be better still!
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Thanks for the encouragement! Smiles to you!