Close Encounter and More
Travis and Clint witness something strange in the woods.23 total reviews
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Congrats on your 50th post! Your story does such a great job of showing the adventurous spirit of the brothers. I enjoyed watching Travis and Clint as they uncover the mystery. The way you describe their investigation, from their curiosity and stealthy approach to the startling discovery pulled me into the story! Great job keeping the suspense high. This was such an enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2024
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Congrats on your 50th post! Your story does such a great job of showing the adventurous spirit of the brothers. I enjoyed watching Travis and Clint as they uncover the mystery. The way you describe their investigation, from their curiosity and stealthy approach to the startling discovery pulled me into the story! Great job keeping the suspense high. This was such an enjoyable read.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2024
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Thank you very much!
Comment from Ric Myworld
I enjoyed your first chapter and look forward to reading more. Sadly, it's only Tuesday and this cowboy is all out of bullets/stars so I can reward you properly. It doesn't seem fair that those who read a hundred or three posts a week get the same allotment as those who read 20. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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I enjoyed your first chapter and look forward to reading more. Sadly, it's only Tuesday and this cowboy is all out of bullets/stars so I can reward you properly. It doesn't seem fair that those who read a hundred or three posts a week get the same allotment as those who read 20. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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Thank you!
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Very interesting story.
Clint not happy with the plan said, - This sentence could use a comma after 'Clint'.
...to tell mom and dad about this." - Mom and Dad should be capitalized here.
Clint seeing Travis said, - Need a comma after Clint
I most of gotten bit." - (must?)
...marks on their calfs. - calves
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Very interesting story.
Clint not happy with the plan said, - This sentence could use a comma after 'Clint'.
...to tell mom and dad about this." - Mom and Dad should be capitalized here.
Clint seeing Travis said, - Need a comma after Clint
I most of gotten bit." - (must?)
...marks on their calfs. - calves
Comment Written 04-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Thank you!
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Great set up if you want to write more. I want to see more. All this unpacking has me nostalgic. I found a box full of stories! When I get all settled, I will still be looking for A roku Tv, A new computer ( not a rebuilt chromebook), And a dining table. I will be busy with odds and ins for months. :-)
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Great set up if you want to write more. I want to see more. All this unpacking has me nostalgic. I found a box full of stories! When I get all settled, I will still be looking for A roku Tv, A new computer ( not a rebuilt chromebook), And a dining table. I will be busy with odds and ins for months. :-)
Comment Written 03-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Thank you!
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Hi Gunner,
An interesting start to a book, if you choose to do so. It definitely has some great possibilities ahead. Lot of ways to go with your UFO story. Great subject for kids.
Take care,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2024
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Hi Gunner,
An interesting start to a book, if you choose to do so. It definitely has some great possibilities ahead. Lot of ways to go with your UFO story. Great subject for kids.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment Written 03-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2024
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Thank you!
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I like your story because I love science fiction. The boys are interesting and curious about the object in the field. They sneak up and see something that doesn't look like anything they know and men who are certainly not human. You need to do a more careful effort to proofread. Here are several corrections: (they're) doing.../field of (sumac).../maybe (even) a plane. (spyglass)/ (Travis) said. /. . . (makeshift) ladder/ . . . (slow) crawl . . ./Clint (,) not happy . . . plan(,) said /(hugging) the ground/
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2024
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I like your story because I love science fiction. The boys are interesting and curious about the object in the field. They sneak up and see something that doesn't look like anything they know and men who are certainly not human. You need to do a more careful effort to proofread. Here are several corrections: (they're) doing.../field of (sumac).../maybe (even) a plane. (spyglass)/ (Travis) said. /. . . (makeshift) ladder/ . . . (slow) crawl . . ./Clint (,) not happy . . . plan(,) said /(hugging) the ground/
Comment Written 02-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2024
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Thank you for the help!
Comment from Neonewman
This story has left me wanting more, and that's a good thing. Your descriptions of the alien are intriguing. I hope you move forward with this adventure. I am interested in seeing what comes next. If you don't mind, I'll make a few suggestions. I'm no professional, but these are things I've noticed.
"What do ya think (their) should be (They're) doing?"
It could be a new type of car or truck, maybe (evan) should be (even)a plane."
Being high in their tree fort-just a suggestion, but I'd remove Being just start with high.
At first glance(,) the object-should add the comma after glance.
(.)Using a slow left to right- need to space after period.
Using a slow left to right (left-to-right) movement
working with the spy- glasses(,) he hoped
It looks smooth(,) and I didn't see a door
"I still think that's a long way(s) remove the s
Travis said(,) punching his
different color clothing(,) much like a jumpsuit
his mouth an inch from Travis'(Travis's) ear(,) and whispered,
direction of the boys(,) who were now hugger(hugging) the ground
we(we've) got to get out of here and get home to tell Mom and Dad about this."
Please know these are only suggestions; I love the story and feel I did well overall.
God bless,
Steve
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2024
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This story has left me wanting more, and that's a good thing. Your descriptions of the alien are intriguing. I hope you move forward with this adventure. I am interested in seeing what comes next. If you don't mind, I'll make a few suggestions. I'm no professional, but these are things I've noticed.
"What do ya think (their) should be (They're) doing?"
It could be a new type of car or truck, maybe (evan) should be (even)a plane."
Being high in their tree fort-just a suggestion, but I'd remove Being just start with high.
At first glance(,) the object-should add the comma after glance.
(.)Using a slow left to right- need to space after period.
Using a slow left to right (left-to-right) movement
working with the spy- glasses(,) he hoped
It looks smooth(,) and I didn't see a door
"I still think that's a long way(s) remove the s
Travis said(,) punching his
different color clothing(,) much like a jumpsuit
his mouth an inch from Travis'(Travis's) ear(,) and whispered,
direction of the boys(,) who were now hugger(hugging) the ground
we(we've) got to get out of here and get home to tell Mom and Dad about this."
Please know these are only suggestions; I love the story and feel I did well overall.
God bless,
Steve
Comment Written 02-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2024
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Thanks for the help!
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My pleasure, Gunner Lil. Many people here help me often, and I've grown exponentially. I look forward to the next chapter.
Comment from Begin Again
Good dialogue and a great opening chapter to draw the reader into the suspense of the story. I wish you well with your efforts to expand the story and also on your milestone post. Great job!
smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2024
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Good dialogue and a great opening chapter to draw the reader into the suspense of the story. I wish you well with your efforts to expand the story and also on your milestone post. Great job!
smiles, Carol
Comment Written 02-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2024
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Thank you!
Comment from patcelaw
Congratulations on your milestone post. Your story is very well written and I do hope that you will decide to make it into a book because it sounds like it would be very interesting. I wish you the very best for the weekend. Patricia.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2024
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Congratulations on your milestone post. Your story is very well written and I do hope that you will decide to make it into a book because it sounds like it would be very interesting. I wish you the very best for the weekend. Patricia.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2024
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Thank you!
Comment from Liz O'Neill
The reader will lean forward with this next reveal:
"Let's see if we can get a better look at what's going on over there." Traves said ready to make his way down from the tree fort stepping on the first rung of the made shift ladder made with three foot 2 x 4's nailed to the trunk of the large oak tree." you've used some effective description of the strangers. This is a good ending too. Very enjoyable story.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2024
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The reader will lean forward with this next reveal:
"Let's see if we can get a better look at what's going on over there." Traves said ready to make his way down from the tree fort stepping on the first rung of the made shift ladder made with three foot 2 x 4's nailed to the trunk of the large oak tree." you've used some effective description of the strangers. This is a good ending too. Very enjoyable story.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2024
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Thank you!
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fun story
