2024 Gypsy's Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 165 "The Ocean's Heart"x
15 total reviews
Comment from Patty Mazzurco
Your poem is a delightful snapshot of summer's vibrant energy. The way you describe the ocean's heartbeat and its playful laugh really draws us into the scene. The crashing waves and the clouds waving goodbye are vivid touches that make the imagery come alive. And the playful twist with the seagulls circling over picnic baskets adds a fun, down-to-earth charm. It's a great blend of nature's beauty and a bit of whimsy.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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Your poem is a delightful snapshot of summer's vibrant energy. The way you describe the ocean's heartbeat and its playful laugh really draws us into the scene. The crashing waves and the clouds waving goodbye are vivid touches that make the imagery come alive. And the playful twist with the seagulls circling over picnic baskets adds a fun, down-to-earth charm. It's a great blend of nature's beauty and a bit of whimsy.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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Thank you very much, Patty. Have a wonderful weekend.
Gypsy 😊
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This fine verse is very evocative of the seaside as it captures the noise and energy of the sea and the seagulls. I wasn't sure what the featherless chumps were though and my first thought, perhaps, cold roast chicken in the picnic baskets? Hope I haven't made a fool of myself here:)) Beautifully done. Thank you, Gypsy. Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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This fine verse is very evocative of the seaside as it captures the noise and energy of the sea and the seagulls. I wasn't sure what the featherless chumps were though and my first thought, perhaps, cold roast chicken in the picnic baskets? Hope I haven't made a fool of myself here:)) Beautifully done. Thank you, Gypsy. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 01-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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The featherless chumps is a personification of the seagulls, the way they may see humans. It's supposed to be humorous. Maybe American humor is different than British humor. (*=*)
Thank you very much, Debbie.
Gypsy hugs 😊
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Oh I see! That's wonderful and I should have worked it out because we do use 'chump' here when I come to think of it, though not often. Ignore me when I come up with these crazy thoughts:))
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nothing crazy about your thoughts, I like honest reviews (*=*)
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nothing crazy about your thoughts, I like honest reviews (*=*)
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nothing crazy about your thoughts, I like honest reviews (*=*)
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I'm so embarrassed! :( A while back a member was writing about 'high tops (meaning trainers) only I interpreted as upper body garments. She wasn't as forgiving as you and I had to mute her she was so rude (even after I edited the reply) I tend to have some mad moments:))
Comment from shelley kaye
i like the onomatopoeia and imagistic word choices
felt like i was there on the beach hearing the waves...
cool pics and fun colourful colours with smooth flow
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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i like the onomatopoeia and imagistic word choices
felt like i was there on the beach hearing the waves...
cool pics and fun colourful colours with smooth flow
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
Comment Written 01-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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Thank you very much, Shelley. Have a wonderful weekend 😊
Gypsy
Comment from BOO ghost
WOw! This presentation is eye-popping. Freeverse, I see...this has to be a top ten poem of yours to me!
ocean's heart
beats to rhythm of summer winds
with a tempestuous laugh
boisterous waves
call out as they crash
against the shoreline
traveling white clouds
seem to wave goodbye
as they pass us by
seagulls screech
circling over picnic baskets
of featherless chumps
BOO picks this as my favorite stanza, but it's all marvelous. I never seen anyone on Fanstory pump out so many poems. What you eat for breakfast? What's your secret?
BOO!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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WOw! This presentation is eye-popping. Freeverse, I see...this has to be a top ten poem of yours to me!
ocean's heart
beats to rhythm of summer winds
with a tempestuous laugh
boisterous waves
call out as they crash
against the shoreline
traveling white clouds
seem to wave goodbye
as they pass us by
seagulls screech
circling over picnic baskets
of featherless chumps
BOO picks this as my favorite stanza, but it's all marvelous. I never seen anyone on Fanstory pump out so many poems. What you eat for breakfast? What's your secret?
BOO!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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Thank you very much, Boo
Gypsy
Comment from lyenochka
Well, I have been one of those picnicking "chumps" robbed by the seagulls. Lol. I enjoyed your ocean poem and the gorgeous pictures. I especially liked the "ocean's heart beats to rhythm of summer winds" and it makes me think of how the waves are like the lifeblood of our hearts swooshing in and out.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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Well, I have been one of those picnicking "chumps" robbed by the seagulls. Lol. I enjoyed your ocean poem and the gorgeous pictures. I especially liked the "ocean's heart beats to rhythm of summer winds" and it makes me think of how the waves are like the lifeblood of our hearts swooshing in and out.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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Thank you very much, Big Sister. Have a wonderful weekend 😊
Love,
MariVal
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You, too! We're volunteering at our downtown Comic Con tonight. Just crafts with the kids.
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My son-in-aw loves comics lol
sounds like fun, I always enjoy teaching kids how to use art to express themselves.
