Dodie Rae
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "The toast"A young woman unwilling to submit to abuse.
16 total reviews
Comment from royowen
An excellent episode again Steve, even though this is fiction, I still have trouble having any pity for the deposed of abusive husbands, who got probably what they deserve, they never seem to change anyway, beautifully written my friend, great job, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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An excellent episode again Steve, even though this is fiction, I still have trouble having any pity for the deposed of abusive husbands, who got probably what they deserve, they never seem to change anyway, beautifully written my friend, great job, blessings Roy
Comment Written 30-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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Thank you, Roy, for continuing to follow Dodie Rae's journey with excellent reviews. I feel no pity for the abusers here, either. Maybe only one in many will be scared straight, as was Bay Lynn's husband. But this is a rare occasion.
God bless,
Steve
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Good writing Steve
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Okay! Definitely the momentum is good and the story is moving forward. Here's a couple of spags to fix:
His solemn face sported a hint of smartassery**,**[.] h[H]is shoulders **were** pulled back, and his chest puffed outward, demanding authority.
Holy shit, **girl, ** Girl should be capitalized. She's using it like her name.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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Okay! Definitely the momentum is good and the story is moving forward. Here's a couple of spags to fix:
His solemn face sported a hint of smartassery**,**[.] h[H]is shoulders **were** pulled back, and his chest puffed outward, demanding authority.
Holy shit, **girl, ** Girl should be capitalized. She's using it like her name.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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Thank you, Rachelle, for this excellent review and for catching those annoying little spags. This is why I came to fanstory, to hone my craft and folks like you who are great a teaching.
God bless, my friend.
Steve
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xo
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, this is structurally well written and edited. I could easily understand what was going on, the whys, where, and who. I would caution about the dialogue and story or male and female characteristics that have become common. Ie: Abusive husbands (and abuse circumstances), vengeance, and women who easily confide in each other (sisterhood).
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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Hmm, this is structurally well written and edited. I could easily understand what was going on, the whys, where, and who. I would caution about the dialogue and story or male and female characteristics that have become common. Ie: Abusive husbands (and abuse circumstances), vengeance, and women who easily confide in each other (sisterhood).
Comment Written 29-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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Thank you, Lancellot, for the excellent review and feedback, my friend.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from GWHARGIS
Dang it. I really wish I hadn't doled out all of my sixes. This was worthy. So, Dodie Rae is learning what triggers the beast and maybe, hopefully trying to control the beast as well. Poor Sam, she is in deep you know what, now that she was caught hanging out with Dodie. Dodie is kind of playing a game with the officers and like it or not, she is going to have a confrontation with one of them soon. This was an edgy chapter and I am waiting with baited breath for the next chapter. So glad, Rachelle brought you to my attention. Gretchen
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2024
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Dang it. I really wish I hadn't doled out all of my sixes. This was worthy. So, Dodie Rae is learning what triggers the beast and maybe, hopefully trying to control the beast as well. Poor Sam, she is in deep you know what, now that she was caught hanging out with Dodie. Dodie is kind of playing a game with the officers and like it or not, she is going to have a confrontation with one of them soon. This was an edgy chapter and I am waiting with baited breath for the next chapter. So glad, Rachelle brought you to my attention. Gretchen
Comment Written 29-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2024
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Wow! This review has me glowing, Gretchen. Rachelle has been a Godsend. Her patience to teach goes above and beyond, and I am blessed that she took the time to interview me. I have met some wonderful people through her.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Good plot development.
A few little glitches:
From inside the Hotel... - 'hotel' should not be capitalized
They said their goodbyes, and She left. - 'She' should not be capitalized
I know god answered my prayer tonight. - God should be capitalized
Dodie Rae reached for her hand and said. "It's okay." The period should be a comma.
Best wishes.
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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2024
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Good plot development.
A few little glitches:
From inside the Hotel... - 'hotel' should not be capitalized
They said their goodbyes, and She left. - 'She' should not be capitalized
I know god answered my prayer tonight. - God should be capitalized
Dodie Rae reached for her hand and said. "It's okay." The period should be a comma.
Best wishes.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2024
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Thank you for this excellent review and catches, Wayne. You are always helpful, and I appreciate it.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Very good chapter. I am glad Dodie Rae has good control of her temper but I wonder how long that will last. Good flow to the story line and a good cliff hanger ending keeping us wanting more.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2024
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Very good chapter. I am glad Dodie Rae has good control of her temper but I wonder how long that will last. Good flow to the story line and a good cliff hanger ending keeping us wanting more.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2024
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Thank you, Marilyn, for the excellent review. Everybody loses their temper eventually, lol.
God bless,
Steve
