The Wish
A boy doesn't believe a local girl's story19 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
A beautifully written story full of atmosphere and childhood mischief. Although for the fantasy contest, it could so easily be true as everything has a ring of credibility about it. The only very tiny niggle might be the vocabulary at times. I was so engaged in the child's narrative that certain words jolted me out of the read - e.g. existential, miasma, I felt the flames of my righteous indignation become smothered by them. The child suddenly becomes an adult. But this certainly didn't detract from my overall enjoyment of this excellent and compelling read. Well done and good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2024
  |
A beautifully written story full of atmosphere and childhood mischief. Although for the fantasy contest, it could so easily be true as everything has a ring of credibility about it. The only very tiny niggle might be the vocabulary at times. I was so engaged in the child's narrative that certain words jolted me out of the read - e.g. existential, miasma, I felt the flames of my righteous indignation become smothered by them. The child suddenly becomes an adult. But this certainly didn't detract from my overall enjoyment of this excellent and compelling read. Well done and good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 18-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2024
-
Excellent notes! Thank you so much!
Comment from F. William Lester
A great story. Reminded me of Stephen King. It really held my attention. Well done. I do have one small, very small, comment: In this phrase, "I certainty didn't...", "certainty" should be "certainly". Thanks for sharing your work and good luck in the contest. Stay well.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2024
|
A great story. Reminded me of Stephen King. It really held my attention. Well done. I do have one small, very small, comment: In this phrase, "I certainty didn't...", "certainty" should be "certainly". Thanks for sharing your work and good luck in the contest. Stay well.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2024
-
This is probably one of the most meaningful compliments I could receive. I love Stephen King! To be considered even in the same hemisphere of talent makes me elated! Thank you so much!
-
You're very welcome.
Comment from nomi338
Ooo. Freaky. What a story. Some things are too hood to be true. This story is good enough to be true. I enjoyed the conflicting thoughts fueled by Jimmy's teachings, his parent trained morality. His innate goodness. He wanted to do the right thing, the goo thing where Sue-Marie was concerned. However, his training kept getting in the way. I really liked this story.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2024
|
Ooo. Freaky. What a story. Some things are too hood to be true. This story is good enough to be true. I enjoyed the conflicting thoughts fueled by Jimmy's teachings, his parent trained morality. His innate goodness. He wanted to do the right thing, the goo thing where Sue-Marie was concerned. However, his training kept getting in the way. I really liked this story.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2024
-
Thank you so much!
Comment from Neonewman
This is a compelling story; I was with you all the way. I guess we know what Sue Marie's wish was. I wonder if that old well was the reason behind the Prichards' loss of wealth.
Thank you for sharing your talent.
God bless,
Steve
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2024
|
This is a compelling story; I was with you all the way. I guess we know what Sue Marie's wish was. I wonder if that old well was the reason behind the Prichards' loss of wealth.
Thank you for sharing your talent.
God bless,
Steve
Comment Written 17-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2024
-
Thank you so much!
-
My pleasure. Great story.
Comment from Mintybee
This is a compelling story. They mystery is intriguing. The characters are complex. The voices are distinct. The ending kind of expected, but that's because you have enough foreshadowing and the characters are consistent.
Mintybee
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2024
 |
This is a compelling story. They mystery is intriguing. The characters are complex. The voices are distinct. The ending kind of expected, but that's because you have enough foreshadowing and the characters are consistent.
Mintybee
Comment Written 17-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2024
-
Thank you very much!
Comment from Lindsey Russell
This story is sad and creepy at the same time. I wasn't expecting the ending. Good luck with the contest. Thanks for sharing. Happy writing! Be well!
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
|
This story is sad and creepy at the same time. I wasn't expecting the ending. Good luck with the contest. Thanks for sharing. Happy writing! Be well!
Comment Written 16-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
-
I appreciate it! Thank you!
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Incredibly excellent. How I wish I had a six to give you. A ten if I had it. What a tale. Did this just come out of you? Amazing. I saw that little scraggly girl quite clearly. I saw the put-upon look on Jimmy's face.I saw his mama wrangling her finger at Jimmy along with the stern steady look which always accompanied it. And I saw his gramma conspiratorially whispering her stories to jimmy with wrinkled glee. Mighty fine work. Karen
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
|
Incredibly excellent. How I wish I had a six to give you. A ten if I had it. What a tale. Did this just come out of you? Amazing. I saw that little scraggly girl quite clearly. I saw the put-upon look on Jimmy's face.I saw his mama wrangling her finger at Jimmy along with the stern steady look which always accompanied it. And I saw his gramma conspiratorially whispering her stories to jimmy with wrinkled glee. Mighty fine work. Karen
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
-
Thank you so much!
-
Any relation to Bill? :-)
-
Bill Schott is my father :)
-
Gee, you sound perfectly sane.
How's your Mom doing? I told a couple of people about your story, maybe you'll get some more reviews. I never noticed your last name until today. I'm sure firing on all cylinders! :-)
-
She's well. Thank you for asking. I'm grateful you've mentioned me to your network of writers. I hope to one day be as good a writer as my dad :)
-
I have sent some folks icons from my Pinterest trolling. Tell me what your interests are and I will send you some icons to pick from. And I still am a little ticked at your Dad. When he was doing those walking talking skeletons, told him I thought up one for him, The magician "Abracadaver" I thought it was pretty clever, he never used it the stinker! Anyhoo, your writing might be new here, but I bet you have been writing in one way or another a long time. Your writing is strong. Good luck you and your family. Even Mr. Bill ooooh no! Your dad will explain it to you. Karen :-)
Comment from Bill Schott
I was just transfixed as the story went along. I was sold right off with the characters' vernacular, which held up all the way through, and the increasingly creepy approach to the well. The characters were believable and downright lovable, in their own way. Seek publication.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
|
I was just transfixed as the story went along. I was sold right off with the characters' vernacular, which held up all the way through, and the increasingly creepy approach to the well. The characters were believable and downright lovable, in their own way. Seek publication.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
-
Thank you so much!
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I enjoyed your writing! You did a great job of drawing me into the world of the Prichard farm and the relationship between Jimmy and Sue-Marie. This was so enjoyable. I could feel the tension between Jimmy's desire to be a good Christian and his natural fear and suspicion of Sue-Marie. Great job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
|
I enjoyed your writing! You did a great job of drawing me into the world of the Prichard farm and the relationship between Jimmy and Sue-Marie. This was so enjoyable. I could feel the tension between Jimmy's desire to be a good Christian and his natural fear and suspicion of Sue-Marie. Great job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
-
Thank you so much!
-
Thank you so much!