Unfinished Brushstrokes
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Unfinished Brushstrokes Chap 13"story of love, loss, new beginnings and secrets.
16 total reviews
Comment from BethShelby
You've added another character. I thought at first she might be a ghost too but she has been talking to one. The detective is ruffling some feathers. I shoe in the door reminde me of Columbo.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2024
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You've added another character. I thought at first she might be a ghost too but she has been talking to one. The detective is ruffling some feathers. I shoe in the door reminde me of Columbo.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2024
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I remember Detective Columbo..for some reason he wasn't one of my favorites. but he solved the cases and that's what counted. I'm so far behind on reviews. thank you so much.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Ulla
Yes, so what are they hiding. I was reading this so fast so I forgot everything else. It was a lovely chapter and a great continuation of the story. But the detective is not convinced. Ulla xcx
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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Yes, so what are they hiding. I was reading this so fast so I forgot everything else. It was a lovely chapter and a great continuation of the story. But the detective is not convinced. Ulla xcx
Comment Written 15-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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they werent too good at matching their stories and trying to cover up Margaret's affair with the married judge....who thinks he's running for the supreme court. Behind bars maybe.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from royowen
Helen meets with Jenna and they share such lovely pleasantries, I wish all people were like that, wouldn't it be wonderful, Donitelli speaks with Lydia asking her where her and Margaret were the previous nigh, of course it doesn't match, and when he asks if Margaret has a gentleman well, more contradiction, beautifully written Carol, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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Helen meets with Jenna and they share such lovely pleasantries, I wish all people were like that, wouldn't it be wonderful, Donitelli speaks with Lydia asking her where her and Margaret were the previous nigh, of course it doesn't match, and when he asks if Margaret has a gentleman well, more contradiction, beautifully written Carol, blessings Roy
Comment Written 15-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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I wish all people were like that too. It just doesn't happen in this world of ours. i don't understand why it changed. Have a great day.
Smiles, Carol
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Well done
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Well, they could have got their stories right! But it's good for Donatelli, after that officer saw the Judge's car drive off. It doesn't take a mega brain to put two and two together. I want to see him brought down. It was nice to see Eleanor again, this time with Helen. Another wonderful chapter, my friend. Love and hugs, Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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Well, they could have got their stories right! But it's good for Donatelli, after that officer saw the Judge's car drive off. It doesn't take a mega brain to put two and two together. I want to see him brought down. It was nice to see Eleanor again, this time with Helen. Another wonderful chapter, my friend. Love and hugs, Sandra xxx
Comment Written 15-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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I don't think either of them were thinking very straight and Donatelli has a way of intimidating people. I love when I can write about Eleanor...she makes me happy.
Sniles, hugs and love, CArol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Matthew they are telling you a lot. LOL But you already know that, don't you? I am glad you introduced Helen to help Jenna. That was nice. I'm struggling saving this review. Evil Eddie messed with one of your sentences.
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reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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Matthew they are telling you a lot. LOL But you already know that, don't you? I am glad you introduced Helen to help Jenna. That was nice. I'm struggling saving this review. Evil Eddie messed with one of your sentences.
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Comment Written 15-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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I'll go check it out. this site is still not right. Thanks so much for reading and I think Helen has given Jenna a lot to think about.
Smiles, Carol
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once I got rid do the extra marks in my reply I could save it.
Comment from Chi Phan
Hi Begin,
Your style of writing certainly befits the mystery genre. I felt curious throughout.
You may want to increase the physical descriptions of the characters. For example when Helen first came onto the scene, instead of stating that "she looked so nervous" you could describe her demeanour. Breaking the dialogues with such descriptions would make these characters come alive more for me, and would also help convey the mood a little better.
For the second scene, you may consider adding a transition between
"Lydia nodded" and "Donatelli took a deep breath..." because after such an intense and fast-paced interrogation it felt a little abrupt for him to just retreat.
I could never write a thriller - the imagination and attention to detail required is beyond me! As such I have a lot of respect for writers like you. Good luck with the novel!
Chi
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reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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Hi Begin,
Your style of writing certainly befits the mystery genre. I felt curious throughout.
You may want to increase the physical descriptions of the characters. For example when Helen first came onto the scene, instead of stating that "she looked so nervous" you could describe her demeanour. Breaking the dialogues with such descriptions would make these characters come alive more for me, and would also help convey the mood a little better.
For the second scene, you may consider adding a transition between
"Lydia nodded" and "Donatelli took a deep breath..." because after such an intense and fast-paced interrogation it felt a little abrupt for him to just retreat.
I could never write a thriller - the imagination and attention to detail required is beyond me! As such I have a lot of respect for writers like you. Good luck with the novel!
Chi
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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Thanks for stopping by to read the chapter and to comment. It's always difficult to know how the story has progressed when one only sees a snippet out of 25,000 words written. I am sorry you only thought it was worthy of 4 stars and maybe you will continue reading and see the story is much deeper.
Thank you and have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
