The Walk
Never underestimate the power of the elderly.33 total reviews
Comment from prettybluebirds
I can relate to this story. My husband remained extremely strong well into his eighties, and few chose to tackle him. Your story is well-executed, and I enjoyed it immensely.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2024
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I can relate to this story. My husband remained extremely strong well into his eighties, and few chose to tackle him. Your story is well-executed, and I enjoyed it immensely.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2024
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Thanks so much for your review. Glad you enjoyed the read. Happy to hear that your husband also kept his fitness well into his eighties.It is so important.
Take care and have a wonderful day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from zaraduck6
This was a very good story. It had a nice concept with a good moral. I loved the characters and the story line.
I noticed a few grammar mistakes in the story. Firstly, I think in the first paragraph, it should be, "...board game, again selected..." Also, after both "a chance to exercise" and a "fork in the track," I don't believe there should be commas. And there were a few instances where there was no comma when there should have been one, like when connecting two main clauses. And don't forget to put a comma when directly addressing someone, for instance: "Hi, Ken," instead of "Hi Ken."
This was overall a very well written story with a wonderful word choice. Good job!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2024
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This was a very good story. It had a nice concept with a good moral. I loved the characters and the story line.
I noticed a few grammar mistakes in the story. Firstly, I think in the first paragraph, it should be, "...board game, again selected..." Also, after both "a chance to exercise" and a "fork in the track," I don't believe there should be commas. And there were a few instances where there was no comma when there should have been one, like when connecting two main clauses. And don't forget to put a comma when directly addressing someone, for instance: "Hi, Ken," instead of "Hi Ken."
This was overall a very well written story with a wonderful word choice. Good job!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2024
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Thanks so much for your review. I am glad you enjoyed the read. Thanks also for your suggestions as to the grammar choices. I will certainly review them and make necessary adjustments. Take care and have a wonderful day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
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Of course! I loved the idea of the story and the characters. A few grammar adjustments can go a long way, so keep it up!
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
And sometimes, they still have a knockout punch!! Great story, Barry.
Your writing style is very engaging. I found myself relating, a little more than I'd like, to your characters. I can't say I still have a knockout punch, but then I never did.
Great job,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024
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And sometimes, they still have a knockout punch!! Great story, Barry.
Your writing style is very engaging. I found myself relating, a little more than I'd like, to your characters. I can't say I still have a knockout punch, but then I never did.
Great job,
Rhonda
Comment Written 06-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024
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Rhonda,
Thanks for your review. Glad you enjoyed it. Yes, Ken, (not his real name) became a local hero after this event. Take care and have a most wonderful day. No going to the shopping center and knocking out the youngsters.
All the best
Barry.
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Hehe!
Comment from estory
I thought you painted a great picture of the elderly man who still 'has it.' And he is wily enough to trick the youth into leaning into the sucker punch, no less. It all proves the point that you can't beat experience and the discipline of taking care of yourself. It's almost like an Aesop fable, in modern times. estory
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024
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I thought you painted a great picture of the elderly man who still 'has it.' And he is wily enough to trick the youth into leaning into the sucker punch, no less. It all proves the point that you can't beat experience and the discipline of taking care of yourself. It's almost like an Aesop fable, in modern times. estory
Comment Written 06-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024
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Thanks for the great review. Glad you enjoyed the read and that you picked up the little nuance of having the youth move into his range so to speak.Take care,and have a wonderful day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from tfawcus
I enjoyed this a lot. Probably because I'm an old codger myself! A tale well told and a salutary warning to the youngsters. I liked the imagery of the sun prising open the clouds. Most original.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024
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I enjoyed this a lot. Probably because I'm an old codger myself! A tale well told and a salutary warning to the youngsters. I liked the imagery of the sun prising open the clouds. Most original.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024
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Thanks for your great review. Yes, I am getting into the old codger brigade as well. Ken became a local hero overnight.
Take care and have a wonderful day.
Regards
Barry Penfold
Comment from NanaGaye
HI Barry Great story. You like your walks I like my gardening, fortunately only encounter I have is the bees coming to great me. I'm in my 80's as well and greet each day with a smile. Wishing you all the best NanaGaye
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024
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HI Barry Great story. You like your walks I like my gardening, fortunately only encounter I have is the bees coming to great me. I'm in my 80's as well and greet each day with a smile. Wishing you all the best NanaGaye
Comment Written 05-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024
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NanaGaye,
Thanks so much for your six-star review. Much appreciated. Yes, Ken became a local hero after the event. Hope you have a good day gardening. Take care and have a wonderful day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
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Thanks for your reply
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a really good story with an unlikely hero. Ken may have been old, but he tried to keep himself in shape and still knew how to deliver a knockout punch. The boys underestimated him and picked on the wrong man. You've made the true story an interesting event.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024
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This is a really good story with an unlikely hero. Ken may have been old, but he tried to keep himself in shape and still knew how to deliver a knockout punch. The boys underestimated him and picked on the wrong man. You've made the true story an interesting event.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024
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Carol,
Wow. A six -star review. I am so glad you enjoyed the story. Yes, Ken became a local hero after this event. Take care and have a wonderful day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
What a great story that reads fluently, is well structured and with excellent detail and credibility in the dialogue! I found myself walking with him every step of his journey. And the provocation from the boys is beautifully countered by his ever clenching fist and movements towards the offending individual. So there was never really a moment when I didn't feel confident that the walk would end well. Such a gratifying story of self protection in the elderly! Well done, Barry! Debbie
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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What a great story that reads fluently, is well structured and with excellent detail and credibility in the dialogue! I found myself walking with him every step of his journey. And the provocation from the boys is beautifully countered by his ever clenching fist and movements towards the offending individual. So there was never really a moment when I didn't feel confident that the walk would end well. Such a gratifying story of self protection in the elderly! Well done, Barry! Debbie
Comment Written 05-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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Debbie,
Thanks so much for your kind review. Yes,Ken certainly displayed some courage and knowledge of about how to get your adversary just where you want them.
Take care and have a wonderful day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Sallyo
The sun prized open the clouds and
prised, I think... it's one of those peculiar words we don't use much.
you will not be walking home"
you will not be walking home."
Grand story, Barry. You took time to set the scene and give us Ken's background, his inner life and his occasionally exasperated affection for his wife. As a daily walker I empathise about the weather. I go out when it's raining but I prefer to avoid thunder-- and bumptious youth.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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The sun prized open the clouds and
prised, I think... it's one of those peculiar words we don't use much.
you will not be walking home"
you will not be walking home."
Grand story, Barry. You took time to set the scene and give us Ken's background, his inner life and his occasionally exasperated affection for his wife. As a daily walker I empathise about the weather. I go out when it's raining but I prefer to avoid thunder-- and bumptious youth.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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Thanks so much for your kind review. Glad you enjoyed the read. Yes the word prized is not much used in the context within I used it. A couple of other reviewers also pointed it out. As far as I know, I have used it correctly.
Thankyou also for your punctuation suggestion. I agree.
Also, and very importantly, I note you are now a fan. Wow, thanks for that. You should know though that at times I go into a sort of slumber and do not post for a while.
Anyway, take care and keep walking and writing.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Sharon Elwell
Well told! I could feel the building sense of menace, knowing he was going to the shopping center in spite of his wife's warning about the boys there. It was a satisfying feeling that bullies don't always succeed, and a nice ending.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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Well told! I could feel the building sense of menace, knowing he was going to the shopping center in spite of his wife's warning about the boys there. It was a satisfying feeling that bullies don't always succeed, and a nice ending.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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Sharon,
Thanks so much for your six-star review. Much appreciated and I am glad you enjoyed the read. Actually Ken (not his real name ) became a local hero after this event.
Take care and have a wonderful day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.