Not Enough
I felt that way.......18 total reviews
Comment from Ginda Simpson
The hurt of this betrayal weighs heavy here, understandably so. But your last line offers hope and resilience to the heart that has been betrayed, but not broken.
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The hurt of this betrayal weighs heavy here, understandably so. But your last line offers hope and resilience to the heart that has been betrayed, but not broken.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2024
Comment from Mark Jackson
Your poem delves deeply into the emotions of betrayal and heartbreak. The rawness of the narrator's pain is palpable as they question why they were not enough for the person who chose to leave. The repetition of "We" and "I" emphasizes the collective hurt experienced by the family and the individual sense of inadequacy felt by the narrator.
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Your poem delves deeply into the emotions of betrayal and heartbreak. The rawness of the narrator's pain is palpable as they question why they were not enough for the person who chose to leave. The repetition of "We" and "I" emphasizes the collective hurt experienced by the family and the individual sense of inadequacy felt by the narrator.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2024
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I bet this felt good getting it out of your system! I could feel the anger and resentment in your words as you condemn this two-timing man who's betrayed you. Your powerful free verse is conveyed in mostly question form, seeking answers for his intolerable behaviour. This is a very effective process because, by the end, you realise that the fault doesn't lie with you and your family but, in fact, with him. It therefore becomes a release from self-blame and a celebration of self-affirmation. Thank you for sharing this compelling and excellent verse with no errors noted. Take care and good luck! Debbie
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I bet this felt good getting it out of your system! I could feel the anger and resentment in your words as you condemn this two-timing man who's betrayed you. Your powerful free verse is conveyed in mostly question form, seeking answers for his intolerable behaviour. This is a very effective process because, by the end, you realise that the fault doesn't lie with you and your family but, in fact, with him. It therefore becomes a release from self-blame and a celebration of self-affirmation. Thank you for sharing this compelling and excellent verse with no errors noted. Take care and good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 29-Apr-2024
Comment from isabelteeth
Awesome, conveys so much emotion, i really see that you know how to turn pain into art. i feel like everyone who has experienced men understands this to a certain level.
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Awesome, conveys so much emotion, i really see that you know how to turn pain into art. i feel like everyone who has experienced men understands this to a certain level.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2024
Comment from A.C. Goldman
Excellent! I love it. I am sorry you went through that. Keep up the good work.....
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Excellent! I love it. I am sorry you went through that. Keep up the good work.....
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Comment Written 29-Apr-2024
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Your words carry a powerful mix of hurt and anger. I love the rawness of your writing. The raw honesty you express in grappling with your feelings are palpable. That makes your words incredibly powerful. Your ability to articulate the pain and confusion you're experiencing is both courageous and moving.
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Your words carry a powerful mix of hurt and anger. I love the rawness of your writing. The raw honesty you express in grappling with your feelings are palpable. That makes your words incredibly powerful. Your ability to articulate the pain and confusion you're experiencing is both courageous and moving.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2024
Comment from EeanBlack
Very painful to read. Much more so to live. Thirty-two years I loved then she just quit. The pain is real, but so is healing. I loved this one very much. Good work.
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Very painful to read. Much more so to live. Thirty-two years I loved then she just quit. The pain is real, but so is healing. I loved this one very much. Good work.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2024
Comment from Douglas Goff
Okay, excellent ending. I almost felt that you were writing about my father and I's relationship. Unwanted.
There are some spaces needed in these two paragraphs. Minor fixes:
One family:( a wife, two children, two grandchildren) was not enough?
We were not in business chasing you around, throwing "atta-boys"at you?
Great job.
D
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reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
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Okay, excellent ending. I almost felt that you were writing about my father and I's relationship. Unwanted.
There are some spaces needed in these two paragraphs. Minor fixes:
One family:( a wife, two children, two grandchildren) was not enough?
We were not in business chasing you around, throwing "atta-boys"at you?
Great job.
D
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
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Hi Douglas, Thank you so much for the "heads-up". I corrected them. I often feel like people know my family in their writings...I guess we are all very much the same. Bless you
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All good!