Knocking on Heaven's Door
Senryu (In our darkest hour)18 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Yes, that Bob Dylan's song is magical Mark and your uplifting poem is filled with faithful support here, I enjoyed the journey, to see the light we need to knock on Heaven's door, but not for a while yet, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
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Yes, that Bob Dylan's song is magical Mark and your uplifting poem is filled with faithful support here, I enjoyed the journey, to see the light we need to knock on Heaven's door, but not for a while yet, love Dolly x
Comment Written 15-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
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Dolly,
Honestly, I knew of the lyrics, but not the song title. Check out Jackie?s rendition of his song.
Long life is in the cards!
Mark
Comment from Brenda Strauser
Beautiful poem. The picture is perfect for your words. There is so much negativity in the world now, we need some positive things to think about. Thank you for writing this. Great job
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
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Beautiful poem. The picture is perfect for your words. There is so much negativity in the world now, we need some positive things to think about. Thank you for writing this. Great job
Comment Written 14-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
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Thanks Brenda.
Please do check out links for Jackie Richardson. I just watched her in a Tubi movie and that inspired me to check her out.
Mark
Comment from Mark Jackson
I really like this. It kind of reminds me of the Oscar Wilds quote about being in the gutter but staring at the stars. Knocking on heaven's door is a very positive euphemism for death which for me slightly interrupts my internal picture but the words themselves are wonderful.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
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I really like this. It kind of reminds me of the Oscar Wilds quote about being in the gutter but staring at the stars. Knocking on heaven's door is a very positive euphemism for death which for me slightly interrupts my internal picture but the words themselves are wonderful.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
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Mark,
In the back of my mind in writing, I was thinking about those dark moments for families as they face someone?s impending death from illness or longevity.
There is always a light at the end of a tunnel IMHO.
Mark
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That is lovely thank you
Comment from zanni
I like the sense of hope in the last line of this piece. I wondered why you chose 'hours' instead of 'hour'? The image of a hint of dawn lingers in my imagination.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
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I like the sense of hope in the last line of this piece. I wondered why you chose 'hours' instead of 'hour'? The image of a hint of dawn lingers in my imagination.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
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Thanks Zanni!
Yes, it reads better with hour. I also edited the first line, changing ?at? to ?in."
Mark
P.S. It is not in a contest so I am OK with changes suggested by reviewers to improve the feeling/message of my poem.
Comment from karenina
Very nice, Mark!
I thought of the song right away!
You've infused Dylan's lyrics with a deeper spiritual meaning, in perfect Senryu!
Way to go!
Karenina
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
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Very nice, Mark!
I thought of the song right away!
You've infused Dylan's lyrics with a deeper spiritual meaning, in perfect Senryu!
Way to go!
Karenina
Comment Written 14-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
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Karenina,
I had to google the lyrics because the name of the song did not resonate with me.
Dylan and I share the same birthday but not the same year.
Mark
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There's magic in that birth-date!
:)
Comment from patcelaw
It is a wonderful thing to know that when we go through our darkest hours, we can always knock on heavens door and he will answer. Have a great day and may you have a good weekend. Patricia .
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
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It is a wonderful thing to know that when we go through our darkest hours, we can always knock on heavens door and he will answer. Have a great day and may you have a good weekend. Patricia .
Comment Written 13-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
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Thanks Patricia for your commentary and wishes.
Mark
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
This is a beautiful Senryu poem. Lovely message. The artwork adds to the presentation of this piece. I just want to mention a thought but I am not the grammar police so don't take my word for this but I keep rereading the first line and I'm trying to decide if it would read better with the word IN replacing the word AT. "In our darkest hours" Do with that what you will. either way, its a lovely poem. Thanks for sharing.
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reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
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This is a beautiful Senryu poem. Lovely message. The artwork adds to the presentation of this piece. I just want to mention a thought but I am not the grammar police so don't take my word for this but I keep rereading the first line and I'm trying to decide if it would read better with the word IN replacing the word AT. "In our darkest hours" Do with that what you will. either way, its a lovely poem. Thanks for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
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Marilyn,
Thanks for such a lovely response to my post. I edited the same per your thoughtful comment.
Mark
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You're most welcome. Yes, it made an improvement. Grammar is such a pain sometimes lol
Comment from Bill Schott
This 5-7-5, Knocking on Heaven's Door, has the proper formatting and allows that the darkness that the world holds can be passed from into redemption's light.
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reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
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This 5-7-5, Knocking on Heaven's Door, has the proper formatting and allows that the darkness that the world holds can be passed from into redemption's light.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
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Bill, I appreciate your support for this post. IMHO there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Even in bad times, things do get better.
Mark
