Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

A couple of things here, Jim.
I like the introduction of Abby into the story. With both Allen and her having engineering backgrounds, the miniaturization of the required tools will be addressed.

Then this Warren character ... yikes. The jury is still out on that dude.

Maybe Ginnie will set him n straight at dime point. We'll see.

Carry on the good work.

John

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2024

---

reply by the author on 03-Apr-2024

Thanks, John. I couldn't resist bringing Abby back in. I had written that interlude chapter long before I conceived of this story, and it just seemed like a natural fit to bring it into this story, since it took place in the exact time period of this story.

I can't remember if you started at the beginning of Some Call It Luck or came in part way through, but that episode with Abby was not the original first chapter in the version I posted. That came in a subsequent draft which later had this as the first chapter.

Yeah, the jury is still out on Warren, but we'll find out fairly soon what to think of him.

Comment from Tom Horonzy

Excellent

are we getting into another false charge with a new girl and the obvious pervert working with Alan. (and i have to wonder if I drool at good-looking woomen?) Do you?.. notice me drooling. Well, of course not, and I'll claim, if asked, if you do for the same reason.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2024

---

reply by the author on 03-Apr-2024

Surely, you're not suggesting that our dear Abby would falsely accuse "the obvious pervert" of some sort of crime as a lie, are you? I can't abide such sacrilege! Abby is my dream girl.

As far as drooling over good looking women--no, not very often.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Alan/David would be cautious to be very careful around Warren. I don't trust him either. I hate when men leer at women. You did a great job introducing Abby here and her work with miniature speakers and cameras. I really feel the previous post is unnecessary. You can continue to give relative facts as they're needed. Just my opinion.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2024

---

reply by the author on 03-Apr-2024

You're probably right that it wasn't necessary for the previous chapter, but as Abby has always been my favorite character, for sentimental reasons I wanted for her to have a chapter all her own. This was a chapter I hadn't previously posted on FanStory when I posted Some Call It Luck, and it coincidentally fit in with this story in terms of the devices she had been working on.

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

No, he's definitely creepy and can't be trusted in a number of ways! And now that things are falling into place quite well, Warren could be the one to upset the apple-cart. This is well-done here because the judgement is clearly a female one and we have much better intuition. Alan may be too focused on his invention to give the subject as much lateral thought. Well done and congrats being in the contest! Debbie

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2024

---

reply by the author on 03-Apr-2024

Thanks, Debbie. One of the things holding Alan back from thinking too harshly about Warren is his own past experience of being blamed for something for which he was innocent. He wants to give him every chance to prove his worth before condemning him.

Comment from hullabaloo22

Excellent

I came across this chapter in the 'Up Next' reading section so I was not familiar with the story so far. It didn't matter though, it was a great read. I had quite a clear impression of the characters, especially of Alan and Warren.
The dialogue was excellent and flowed nicely between the characters.
Wonderful work!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2024

---

reply by the author on 03-Apr-2024

Thank you very much. I really appreciate your kind review. It's hard to jump into an unfamiliar story, but I'm glad you liked it.

Comment from Wayne Fowler

Excellent

Nicely written.
I've had employees (sometimes very hard to find good ones), and letting them go based on feelings or unproven suspicions is tough.
Best wishes.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2024

---

reply by the author on 03-Apr-2024

Thanks, Wayne.

Yes, it is, and Alan is particularly reluctant to do so because of his past experience of being blamed when he had done nothing wrong.