Right in the Eye
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Right in the Eye, ch 3"The adventures and reaches of people with a divine
14 total reviews
Comment from jim vecchio
Just a little too early for that sixth star. I great piece of storytelling. I enjoyed reading of the progression through the ages and comparing it to my recent hospitalizations. One VERY SMALL concern: One of the attendants, or aids as they started callin' them, aids should be "aides".
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Just a little too early for that sixth star. I great piece of storytelling. I enjoyed reading of the progression through the ages and comparing it to my recent hospitalizations. One VERY SMALL concern: One of the attendants, or aids as they started callin' them, aids should be "aides".
Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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You are correctomundo! aides - grrr
Thank you for your very nice review.
This chapter served to age him. His adventures are soon to begin.
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I'll be there for them!
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Wow, Slim had a long stay in the sanatorium! They say when you're in a coma you can hear, and to be careful what you say about them. Too bad he was never to regain full abilities so he could talk to the people around him.
Great job of telling a person's life through their ears, and partially eyes, only.
Take care,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Wow, Slim had a long stay in the sanatorium! They say when you're in a coma you can hear, and to be careful what you say about them. Too bad he was never to regain full abilities so he could talk to the people around him.
Great job of telling a person's life through their ears, and partially eyes, only.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Thank you. But hold on to your seat!
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Okay, dazzle us!! I know you can!!
Comment from Jim Wile
What a fascinating chapter this was, Wayne. Such interesting musings old Slim had about his life and longevity and about his inability to communicate with his attendants.
I enjoyed these lines: "The few I didn't cotton to were all right, I suppose, just people stuck in the wrong job tryin' to make a living. I tried not to hold it agin 'em." What a benevolent way of looking at them.
You've mastered the patois of Slim. Sounded very realistic.
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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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What a fascinating chapter this was, Wayne. Such interesting musings old Slim had about his life and longevity and about his inability to communicate with his attendants.
I enjoyed these lines: "The few I didn't cotton to were all right, I suppose, just people stuck in the wrong job tryin' to make a living. I tried not to hold it agin 'em." What a benevolent way of looking at them.
You've mastered the patois of Slim. Sounded very realistic.
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Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Thank you.
Controlling myself, refraining from pure and total patois is difficult. I was slow to realize the benefit of sprinkled dialect.
Comment from Wendy G
Well, this is very different, and very interesting, and it just shows that one never knows what is really happening inside the brain of a person in a coma. I think this unique style of informing the reader has been used very effectively. Well done, Wayne. I'm interested to see what follows.
Wendy
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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Well, this is very different, and very interesting, and it just shows that one never knows what is really happening inside the brain of a person in a coma. I think this unique style of informing the reader has been used very effectively. Well done, Wayne. I'm interested to see what follows.
Wendy
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Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Thank you. I was really hoping that this technique would work.
