Willing Hearts
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Willing Hearts Chapter 6 B"Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?
33 total reviews
Comment from Teri7
Barbara, I am really liking this! You used very good descriptive words and great dialogue. The one thing I truly love about your stories is that you always have a dog in them. We have cats, but love dogs too. love and blessings, teri
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Barbara, I am really liking this! You used very good descriptive words and great dialogue. The one thing I truly love about your stories is that you always have a dog in them. We have cats, but love dogs too. love and blessings, teri
Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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A couple of times I've had a cat or kitten, but mostly dogs. Thank you for the kind review.
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We have many cats, due to kittens showing up or our children asking us to take them. So we did. But they are so cute and sweet even as they get older.
Comment from Ben Colder
Your post is the first and only write I have read. Been out of it as you know. I think you are doing a great job with this story although I was knee deep in the other one. Good one, Barb as always.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Your post is the first and only write I have read. Been out of it as you know. I think you are doing a great job with this story although I was knee deep in the other one. Good one, Barb as always.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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My prayers are with you. Please don't overdo. I've missed you. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Daylily
This is another good chapter building on relationships rising out of a dangerous situation.
Things to consider:
- "We're already secure. Sarah and Bob, I guess ..........................It's completely up to you. Just let me know here (where) I should stay that'll make you the most comfortable."
This part confused me a little:
"The way I see it, there are only two things that could've happened that would've kept Chen from being angry. One, you never tried to figure out what happened to Myra and the rest of the girls."
"I had to try."
(Should it be something like her saying -- I have tried, I did try, or I was trying.) ?
I am looking forward to reading more on Sundays!
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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This is another good chapter building on relationships rising out of a dangerous situation.
Things to consider:
- "We're already secure. Sarah and Bob, I guess ..........................It's completely up to you. Just let me know here (where) I should stay that'll make you the most comfortable."
This part confused me a little:
"The way I see it, there are only two things that could've happened that would've kept Chen from being angry. One, you never tried to figure out what happened to Myra and the rest of the girls."
"I had to try."
(Should it be something like her saying -- I have tried, I did try, or I was trying.) ?
I am looking forward to reading more on Sundays!
Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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I have made the first correction. I've worked on that sentence over and over again, and still got it wrong. LOL The second correction, I'm still wondering about. I'll think about it. Sami tried to help the girls but they're still missing. I'll figure it out. I appreciate the help.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi Barbara,
This chapter seems to be non-productive to me. I felt like Noah was spending too much time apologizing, and Sami was being unreasonable. I don't want her to fall into his arms necessarily, but she should be able to let her guard down a bit more.
Anyway, it almost feels like the 'wheel spinning' is going on for too long.
I would like to see more attention on this 'week of silence.' It seems like a drastic stance...I want to know more!
Hope this helps you - this is meant to be constructive criticism.
~patty~
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Hi Barbara,
This chapter seems to be non-productive to me. I felt like Noah was spending too much time apologizing, and Sami was being unreasonable. I don't want her to fall into his arms necessarily, but she should be able to let her guard down a bit more.
Anyway, it almost feels like the 'wheel spinning' is going on for too long.
I would like to see more attention on this 'week of silence.' It seems like a drastic stance...I want to know more!
Hope this helps you - this is meant to be constructive criticism.
~patty~
Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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I will take this into consideration. More will be coming up in the next post about it. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Wendy G
Becoming dramatic - but nearly a week without any communicating? Something is bound to happen. Sami is still very edgy around Noah, and he seems to end up upsetting her. I am sure they'll sort it out.
Wendy
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Becoming dramatic - but nearly a week without any communicating? Something is bound to happen. Sami is still very edgy around Noah, and he seems to end up upsetting her. I am sure they'll sort it out.
Wendy
Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Barbara,
this was a pretty exciting chapter. I would think that not being able to communicate with each other could cause some unexpected problems. One has to wonder how the undercover office would have been discovered.
Sounds like Noah hasn't had much experience communicating with the opposite sex. Interesting.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Hello Barbara,
this was a pretty exciting chapter. I would think that not being able to communicate with each other could cause some unexpected problems. One has to wonder how the undercover office would have been discovered.
Sounds like Noah hasn't had much experience communicating with the opposite sex. Interesting.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Female relationships are foreign to Noah. More about that will be coming out. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is well done. Sami worries that her desire to find the girls has caused much of what followed, including Noah getting injured. Fortunately, your chapters are now appearing in my messages, but I think I missed something will try to go back and look for it. The situation they now find themselves in sounds very dangerous. Good upping of the tension.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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This is well done. Sami worries that her desire to find the girls has caused much of what followed, including Noah getting injured. Fortunately, your chapters are now appearing in my messages, but I think I missed something will try to go back and look for it. The situation they now find themselves in sounds very dangerous. Good upping of the tension.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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I'm glad the problem about not getting my messages is solved. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This story is building up nicely, Barbara, and I'm learning a lot about undercover work which is great. Characters too are nicely rounded: Sami is still very edgy around Noah while Noah can be equally awkward and prickly as he splits himself between an obvious attraction to Sami and his professionalism in the job. Small edit: Just let me know (w)here I should stay. Well done, Barbara. Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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This story is building up nicely, Barbara, and I'm learning a lot about undercover work which is great. Characters too are nicely rounded: Sami is still very edgy around Noah while Noah can be equally awkward and prickly as he splits himself between an obvious attraction to Sami and his professionalism in the job. Small edit: Just let me know (w)here I should stay. Well done, Barbara. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 20-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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I have added that missing 'w'. Thank you for the catch. I appreciate the kind review.
Comment from Douglas Goff
Great character advancement in this chapter.
Couple of suggestions:
He turned and walked away. "I knew the risks when I took this job."
(Maybe flip the sentences. Seems like he left them spoke.)
"The rest of us were going silent.
(Maybe switch were for are)
"Just let me know here I should stay that'll make you the most comfortable."
(Typo. Here should be where.)
I like this tale!
D
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Great character advancement in this chapter.
Couple of suggestions:
He turned and walked away. "I knew the risks when I took this job."
(Maybe flip the sentences. Seems like he left them spoke.)
"The rest of us were going silent.
(Maybe switch were for are)
"Just let me know here I should stay that'll make you the most comfortable."
(Typo. Here should be where.)
I like this tale!
D
Comment Written 20-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Thank you for the catches. I appreciate the help and the kind review.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Hi Barbara,
I really exciting chapter. We learn more bad things have resulted from Noah rescuing Sami from the traffickers. It's a good thing he did it, but Sami is feeling bad about it. Sami and Noah continue to make mistakes with each other.
Well done,
Take care,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2024
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Hi Barbara,
I really exciting chapter. We learn more bad things have resulted from Noah rescuing Sami from the traffickers. It's a good thing he did it, but Sami is feeling bad about it. Sami and Noah continue to make mistakes with each other.
Well done,
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment Written 20-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2024
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Thank you for the kind review. I have a feeling it will take time but will happen.
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Yeah, the best of times... worst of times for them.