Life, Death, Up, Down
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Rusty"short stories
17 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
Well that was quite fascinating, and although it is not my usual type of story I was engrossed, and I found the ending to be quite wonderful. Very imaginative and creatively written. Best wishes for the contest!
Wendy
  |
Well that was quite fascinating, and although it is not my usual type of story I was engrossed, and I found the ending to be quite wonderful. Very imaginative and creatively written. Best wishes for the contest!
Wendy
Comment Written 18-Mar-2024
Comment from Thesis
This is an interesting story. It kept me wondering what cargo Rusty was going to retrieve when he reached Oasis, but then you revealed he was carrying the cargo. The ending was surprising in that it was the Bible and that throughout the trip he was memorizing it. Everyone dying throughout the story set up the ending well when Rusty saved him and showed a human quality.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
|
This is an interesting story. It kept me wondering what cargo Rusty was going to retrieve when he reached Oasis, but then you revealed he was carrying the cargo. The ending was surprising in that it was the Bible and that throughout the trip he was memorizing it. Everyone dying throughout the story set up the ending well when Rusty saved him and showed a human quality.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
-
Thank you for your very kind words!
Comment from Begin Again
What started out as something out of science fiction to me, ended with a beautiful thought for all of us. Yes, thank you, Rusty...
Nicely done. Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
|
What started out as something out of science fiction to me, ended with a beautiful thought for all of us. Yes, thank you, Rusty...
Nicely done. Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 17-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
-
Thank you so much! Have a Blessed Day!
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought this was an exciting story. I love the imagination that went into it. I also enjoy the twist that Rusty carries within him recordings of the entire Bible. I love that his actions ensure that God's word survives. Very creative. This was well written. The story easily kept my interest and I enjoyed reading it!
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
|
I thought this was an exciting story. I love the imagination that went into it. I also enjoy the twist that Rusty carries within him recordings of the entire Bible. I love that his actions ensure that God's word survives. Very creative. This was well written. The story easily kept my interest and I enjoyed reading it!
Comment Written 17-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
-
I'm so grateful for your very kind review!
Comment from zanni
what an interesting story. The short sentences gave it the feel of a 40's detective story. I liked the questioning about the robot's mind and trustworthiness. The suspense built as the members of the group were killed off. The name of the group doing the killing jarred a bit though as it has medieval associations and the story is set in the future.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
|
what an interesting story. The short sentences gave it the feel of a 40's detective story. I liked the questioning about the robot's mind and trustworthiness. The suspense built as the members of the group were killed off. The name of the group doing the killing jarred a bit though as it has medieval associations and the story is set in the future.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
-
I am very thankful for this review. Hope to read more of your work soon!
Comment from Gunner Lil
A fast moving story with good sensory descriptions.
If Rusty does not have a sense of humor, would he have the emotion of panic or fear as noted when he shouted;
Caution! Caution! Enemy in the distance! Take cover! Grab weapons!
In this writing you used the exclamation point excessively. (19) The excitement of the characters can be shown in their dialogue.
Most editors say three exclamation points per chapter is too much.
Good job and thank you!
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
|
A fast moving story with good sensory descriptions.
If Rusty does not have a sense of humor, would he have the emotion of panic or fear as noted when he shouted;
Caution! Caution! Enemy in the distance! Take cover! Grab weapons!
In this writing you used the exclamation point excessively. (19) The excitement of the characters can be shown in their dialogue.
Most editors say three exclamation points per chapter is too much.
Good job and thank you!
Comment Written 17-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
-
Thanks. I'm learning every day. I'll tone it down in the future. I remember from my comic book days when almost all word balloons ended in exclamation points.
Comment from Ric Myworld
"Just a bucket of bolts" with seemingly more calculated thoughts than many humans. I'm not usually a fantasy or science fiction type, but of a tin man with a heart, and Rusty, I'm a fan. Thanks for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
|
"Just a bucket of bolts" with seemingly more calculated thoughts than many humans. I'm not usually a fantasy or science fiction type, but of a tin man with a heart, and Rusty, I'm a fan. Thanks for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
-
I'm very thankful for your kind words!
