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What We See

Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "What We See - Chapter 19"
A wrongly accused teacher reinvents his life

20 total reviews 
Comment from jmdg1954
Excellent
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So the chapter begins with the newspaper article; giving details for what happened over the course of the past few months...
Tommy should go to prison and Tina should be accountable for something here? She got Alan fired.

One correction -
Her accusations still smart (hurt??) when I think about them,

Ginnie and Alan's relationship is advancing...

My concern is he promised Tommy to be at his game. Something could come up which may set them back.

Let's see what happens.
John

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
    Tina will be punished, but we won't hear about it for a while.

    Nah, I'm not going to put them all through another missed game. We're going to have some fun for a while until the next challenge.
Comment from royowen
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I like your style of writing Jim, at least your protagonists and antagonist are clearly defined, and your antagonists can be redeemed, which is how I like, your plots are likewise clearly defined, and although not completely predictable have a definite direction...at least to now. Well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
    Thank you so much, Roy, and for the beautiful 6 stars too. I'm very honored. I appreciate your kind comments.
reply by royowen on 09-Mar-2024
    Ymosr welcome
Comment from Ulla
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Aw, so things are taking off between him and Ginnie. You described that very well, an Tommy is is taken to him as well. It's well written, my.omly suggestion being to show more rather than telling. The kiss the shared, what was his sensation rather than just saying it was wonderful. Play on the senses. All best, Ulla:)))
.

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
    Thanks so much, Ulla. Good suggestion too.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
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So tina is not going to be punished for falsely accusing Alan? At the very least she should have to clean his house all summer for free, she cost him job. Good writing. Karen

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
    She will be. That will come in a future chapter.
reply by Karen Cherry Threadgill on 10-Mar-2024
    Spoiler alert!!!I must have ESP.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
    You know how I feel about justice! I just didn't want you thinking I'd forgotten about it.
Comment from lancellot
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A well written story. It seems Alan is now publicly cleared, and Tony is facing years in prison. I see you made Tony a senior compared to Tina being a sophomore. That and the pacing of Alan and Ginnie's relationship should please the FS readership. Also, having no accountability placed on Tina after all she did. This will please the women, but the normal male, I don't know.

Good work.

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
    Thank you, Lance. The effect on Tina will be seen in a few more chapters. No, she can't get away scot-free. That wouldn't be right.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
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I sure hope David/Alan makes it to the ball game. Tommy will not be happy if he misses another game. I really like this story.

Her long brown hair was down, and she had some light makeup on. (I know you don't like when I make suggestions, but I can't help myself this time. The word 'on' can be used as a preposition or an adverb. It needs to be closer to 'had' so it would be 'had on some')

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
    I like your suggestions. It was just the up-down ones I chose not to honor. This is a good one. Thanks!

    So glad you're enjoying the story, Barbara.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
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Who wrote this chapter? Gibbous waxing??? Tenterhooks, which I could not find a definition for, tho, my online thesaurus said it to be a word w/o info. I always thought it was tenderhooks, which made me think of Tenderfoot, the western tv program which was Sugarfoot, instead with Will Hutchins, and then Ty Hardin and Bronco Lane.
Anyhow, I think "Alan" will be getting lucky, soon, but not until Alan disappoints and misses the upcoming game ... again.

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
    Just Google: "What does on tenterhooks mean" and you'll find it. Also, "waxing gibbous" is the phase of the moon between half and full on the waxing side (vs. the waning side).

    Nah, he won't miss this game. This will be a fun game to watch.
reply by Tom Horonzy on 09-Mar-2024
    I knew both facts but thought it was tenderhooks all this time.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
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I wasn't sure that a journalist would be allowed to print so much prejudicial detail prior to arraignment? I don't think it would happen in the UK. And did you mean Wil(t)shire or am I just reminded of an English county? I like the way that Alan isn't dancing in the streets and is still aggrieved by Ginnie's response. Realistic, as his justifiable irritation with being wrongly maligned is revealed. But the courtship is gathering momentum and things are returning to a more comfortable state of affairs. I had no idea what 'gibbous' were but have now educated myself, sorry. (Perhaps a note for the more ignorant like me?) But a very enjoyable chapter with a feeling that things might be going a bit too well, perhaps? Thanks for sharing, Jim. Debbie

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
    Thanks, Debbie. Nothing much holds the press back here. They do have to say "alleged" when referring to something that hasn't been proven yet in a court of law.

    I felt it was only fair to give these characters a letup after what they've just been through. We will be coming to the main action that will dominate much of the remainder of the story in a few more chapters.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
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Nicely written.
It's only me, but I cringed when I read Alan say that nothing would stop him from coming to the game. Too many broken promises broke me of faith in adult promises to youths. What about a fire, a car wreck, car trouble, an unexpected visitor (of moment), being arrested, the flu, and etc, and etc? (smiley face here)
Best wishes.

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 Comment Written 09-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
    Although he did say earlier that unless something similar came up he would be there, I suppose he is taking a risk by saying what he said now. Perhaps he figured, what are the odds something else would come up to prevent his going to the game?
reply by Wayne Fowler on 09-Mar-2024
    It was a personal thing with me. Unless you get a lot more saying the same, it was fine. Besides hardship builds character. Let the boy get used to disappointment - toughen him up!
    smiley face here
Comment from BethShelby
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This kid who did want his football scolarship complicated with an pregnancy readly screwed his life up forever. He could have killed the girl so I don't feel too bad about the headlines but I still have problems seeing murder associated with a fetus when she wasn't even showing. The realationship between David and Ginnie is off to a good start, he and Tommy are already good friends.

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 Comment Written 09-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
    That's a good point. Since I'm not sure when it would have been considered murder in 1986, I think I will change it to simply "death."