Reviews from

What We See

Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "What We See - Chapters 17 & 18"
A wrongly accused teacher reinvents his life

18 total reviews 
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Two chapters for the price of one. Seventeen was an interesting take on a call-in radio show. Alan clearly isn't that experienced when it comes to women. I think your FanStory fans will enjoy the reconciliation with Ginnie and Alan, and the pace of their burgeoning relationship.

Good work.

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
    Thanks, Lance. Yeah, they will tiptoe around for a while, but not for long before beginning to move forward.
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
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This seemed to work out well. The dialogue and the two of them have ironed through the turst issues. It sounds like they are both needing someone in their life to care agout them. I look forward to more.

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
    Thank you, Beth. Hopefully, that someone will be each other, now that they have a much firmer foundation to lay it on. Glad you found this story.
Comment from tfawcus
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Great chapter, Jim. You've got the emotional balance just perfect. Now the air is clear between them. I thought the phone-in programme was a good device to enable the reader to understand Alan's dilemma, and to float some possible solutions. Internal dialogue wouldn't have been half so effective. I wonder if Tommy happened to be listening to the radio and, if so, whether he'd put two and two together. Initially, I wondered if Ginnie might have been listening in, but as it turns out, she didn't need to.

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
    Thanks so much, Tony. I'm very pleased and grateful for the 6 stars and for your analytical review. That call-in radio show was patterned after one I used to love. He needed some advice, especially from someone with a woman's perspective to help him decide his best course of action. Deep down, he probably knew what he should do, but it's nice to have it confirmed.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
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This is an excellent approach to bringing a meaningful reconciliation between these two, both, in their own way, suffering from a background of baggage which requires time to resolve before moving on in a new relationship. The fundamental bone of contention is trust which has been badly damaged. I like the firm foundation that has started to be built here. No quick fix which might, otherwise, have been tempting to some writers. Your excellent story evolves with realism and continues to be a very enjoyable and gratifying read as a result. Well done, Jim! Take care Debbie

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2024
    Thank you so much, Debbie. You're always so perceptive in how you see things and evaluate them--very similar to the way I also see them. I'm so glad you're finding it to be an enjoyable read.
reply by Debbie D'Arcy on 06-Mar-2024
    You're welcome, Jim! It's all such a fluent and well expressed read so a pleasure to read!
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Excellent
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The first impression I received is how the dialogue came to be without an introduction in the previous chapter notes. I was lost momentarily.
As for the second chapter, I am glad it worked out.

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2024
    Now comes learning to trust each other to see if they will make it as a couple. That's not a given yet.
Comment from jmdg1954
Excellent
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Well the little sit down with Ginnie and Alan went very smoothly. With all that baggage Ginnie had from her father to her husband to her other boyfriend, I'm not at all surprised at her "wall" when it comes to meeting someone new.

Cool coincidence that this chapter coincides with a post from Nomi (on top of the leader board for poems) mirroring the same topic.

Now that some of the dust has settled, I'm curious as to where the book is headed. I'll have to be patient and wait...

Good post, Jim.

John

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2024
    Thanks so much, John. Yep, we're almost done with this particular episode, and it will soon be on to other parts of the plot.

    Although I haven't finished writing it yet, I'd say we are almost at the halfway point now, so there is still a long way to go until the tale is told. Hopefully the second half will be as interesting.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Excellent
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Well written, of course. But...
Human nature (in my world) being what it is, I would have expected serious kissing and even petting. What I would have expected from your writing is that after a few moments of 'heat', both would simultaneously call a halt, step back, and voice words of "not sorry. but..."
Just me. Others prob'ly would be abhorred at my lean. (smiley face here)


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 Comment Written 06-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2024
    That will come soon enough! Nothing to hold them back now.
reply by Wayne Fowler on 06-Mar-2024
    But how did they break away in the moment?
    Maybe they topple a glass of water, or they hear Tommy outside?
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2024
    Well, there wasn't any particular "heat" in this scene. When he was holding her while she was crying, she eventually stopped, and he let her go to get her some tissues. Then he told her his tale, and they never really embraced again after that. The scene finished with getting ready to eat the pie.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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I enjoyed the tender moment between Ginnie and David/Alan. Honestly is always the best and I'm glad they were both truthful with each other. I can't wait to see them together.

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 Comment Written 06-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2024
    Thanks so much, Barbara. Perhaps now they can build on this and begin to trust each other. I think you'll be pleased with the result.