Fishing With Bread
Two Worlds Coming Together33 total reviews
Comment from Douglas Goff
This is a wonderful piece that annotates the possibilities of humanity. It makes one wonder if perhaps there is hope for us afterall?
Good stuff. Congratulations on your winning the competition!
D
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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This is a wonderful piece that annotates the possibilities of humanity. It makes one wonder if perhaps there is hope for us afterall?
Good stuff. Congratulations on your winning the competition!
D
Comment Written 15-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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Thanks, Doug, for your review. Your comment, "...that annotates the
possibilities..." caught my imagination. I wish I'd had that available to me when writing this story. -Bill
Comment from JanPerry
I like the contrast of characters depicted here. I came to realise that this doesn't happen enough in books or stories I've read. A nice surprise.
I don't know why you said the mind of God was your address.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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I like the contrast of characters depicted here. I came to realise that this doesn't happen enough in books or stories I've read. A nice surprise.
I don't know why you said the mind of God was your address.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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Jan, thank you for this review. As I tried to put this old man and myself in a relationship, I could see that the one thing we had in common, and where we both belonged, was in the mind of God.
That's the "address" we shared and allowed us to be "brothers". We had assurances we could eat stale bread together and not feel shame and where we could trust each other. But it has many names. One of them is called the "Kingdom of God." -Bill
Comment from dragonpoet
H William,
This is a well written story of mutual understanding, friendship and faith.
It is an act of God that you were able to understand each other. But you did. I take it you never saw him again except in your memory to remind you of your faith and family.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Congrats on winning the contest.
Have a great weekend.
Joan
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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H William,
This is a well written story of mutual understanding, friendship and faith.
It is an act of God that you were able to understand each other. But you did. I take it you never saw him again except in your memory to remind you of your faith and family.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Congrats on winning the contest.
Have a great weekend.
Joan
Comment Written 15-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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Thank you, Joan, for a wonderful review. I could take parts of your review and insert it in my story and it would make it an even better story. I've never had seven stars before. Kinda cool! =-Bill
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You're welcome, William. I am glad I could help.
Joan
Comment from Contests
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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 A contest winning entry! A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for posting the winning contest entry. |
Comment Written 15-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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Thank you for this award. I hope to take the winnings and get into
another contest.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fine moment in time as two strangers find common ground in their pursuit of baiting a fish, I enjoyed your journey here and I have been on that same cruise, a pleasure to read, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
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A fine moment in time as two strangers find common ground in their pursuit of baiting a fish, I enjoyed your journey here and I have been on that same cruise, a pleasure to read, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 10-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
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I remember very little about the cruise, quite frankly. But the memory of that encounter will last with me for the rest of my life. Thanks, Dolly, for the review. -Bill
Comment from Liz O'Neill
I had a delightful time with my friend in New York. We would get a loaf of day old bread and go out and feed the carps. They seem to have large mouths perfect for catching large slices of bread.
This is a lovely story and we learned something in it.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
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I had a delightful time with my friend in New York. We would get a loaf of day old bread and go out and feed the carps. They seem to have large mouths perfect for catching large slices of bread.
This is a lovely story and we learned something in it.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
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It was a "teachable moment" for me and it will be a memory I will hold in great respect. Thanks for the review.
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***Smile***
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Thank you for your kind words. It's a memory I will always cherish.
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***Smile***
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
The first sentence of the last paragraph is incomplete; having "whenever" at the beginning of the sentence does that. Read it again and you'll see what I mean.
I found this a very sweet, and even profound, short story. Very moving, and so true.
Here's my question (and I know it's not the point): did you catch any fish that way?
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
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The first sentence of the last paragraph is incomplete; having "whenever" at the beginning of the sentence does that. Read it again and you'll see what I mean.
I found this a very sweet, and even profound, short story. Very moving, and so true.
Here's my question (and I know it's not the point): did you catch any fish that way?
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 09-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
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Oh, Pam, you made me smile. First of all, thank you for catching the goof. I went back in to fix something elsde and evidently created a mistake when I did. I'll go fix it. And yes, we did catch fish. The trick is when you cast that many hooks in the water, you must immediately yank your pole back and we hooked four to five at a time. But all the hooks were empty. Needless to say, I chewed a lot stale bread!!
Thanks, Pam, for the review. -Bill
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi there,
Thank you for sharing this poignant story of the blending of tow worlds. And yes, you did land on Holy Ground. If only - if only more people would look past our differences - then the world would be a better place,
~Mustang~
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
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Hi there,
Thank you for sharing this poignant story of the blending of tow worlds. And yes, you did land on Holy Ground. If only - if only more people would look past our differences - then the world would be a better place,
~Mustang~
Comment Written 09-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
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It doesn't happen very often. Our job is to ackowledge when it does and then hope for the next opportunity. Actually, our differences can be helpful. In this case our differences made us even closer.
Thanks, Mustang, for the review. -Bill
Comment from lancellot
I think the author is trying to make a point or convey a moral. But, here's the thing, the story is too short and lack enough detail and depth. For example, we don't know much about the MC. We don't know his age, name, or anything, until we get near the end, where 'we are told' he's old and wealthy. We don't see or learn this. We don't know why he speaks to the old fisherman either. He just does. We are told the fisherman's English is poor, so why conversate with him? We don't know. OR How fishing with bread, or chewing stale bread (for some reason) has to do with God or the state of the world? We are simply 'told' it does.
"If you have only bread for bait, how do you keep it from falling off the hooks when they hit the water?["]
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This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
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I think the author is trying to make a point or convey a moral. But, here's the thing, the story is too short and lack enough detail and depth. For example, we don't know much about the MC. We don't know his age, name, or anything, until we get near the end, where 'we are told' he's old and wealthy. We don't see or learn this. We don't know why he speaks to the old fisherman either. He just does. We are told the fisherman's English is poor, so why conversate with him? We don't know. OR How fishing with bread, or chewing stale bread (for some reason) has to do with God or the state of the world? We are simply 'told' it does.
"If you have only bread for bait, how do you keep it from falling off the hooks when they hit the water?["]
-add
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
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I don?t know what to say. Your review is such an aberration to all this story represents. We are urged to ignore these kind of reviews, but I?m not one of them. When someone distorts my work I will not be silent.
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I don't know what these kinds of reviews you mean. I am only trying to help, by giving you an honest review, that you're asking for. If that isn't what you want, or you want something specific, please say that somewhere, so reviewer would know.
I mean no harm or insult. If you want the standard FS review. I will leave you in peace from now on, or you can feel free to mute me, so no accidents can happen.
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You say that you think I'm trying to make a point or a moral. The contest asks us to write a true story of something in our past. But you criticize me for what I did not do. You criticize its length or lack of; the lack of information about the MC. I'm surprised you didn't complain that i failed to give his weight, height and color of his eyes. You criticize what you didn't learn, but what is it that you did learn. And sarcasm: Speak only to those who speak our language? Did you forget that this took place in a foreign country? And I learned a new word. "Conversate." And why would you sarcastically use (for some reason)? The say way when you use the word "told."
This is disrespectful. l was sharing a story from my past, not preaching from a pulpit.
I would never mute you. I only ask that you review what in front of you, not what isn't in front of you. And respectfully. Just offer suggestions. For example, "I think I would have appreciated more information about your MC. Such as his age and name."
In fact, I want to thank you for pointing out the absent quotation mark. You are the only one who pointed that out. I urge you and I even challenge you to review my other writes or a poem tha will soon be on FS.
i am the author of six books. Two of them critically acclaimed. I can assure you that this review would ever "mute" you. But I do think that we can all learn to be better reviewers and we can' be better if no one speaks up. So what do you say? Can we start over? -Bill
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Starting over is great. Have a good one.
Comment from LJbutterfly
This is a meaningful story that demonstrates how much we are all brothers and sisters in Christ, regardless to where we are in the world. Your story proves that people from different cultures, speaking different languages, can communicate peacefully as members of the human family. Well done. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
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This is a meaningful story that demonstrates how much we are all brothers and sisters in Christ, regardless to where we are in the world. Your story proves that people from different cultures, speaking different languages, can communicate peacefully as members of the human family. Well done. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
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Now, if we could just get Putin to try fishing......Thanks for your review. I just want to encourage us all to answer the question, "Who is my neighbor?"