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Life's Twisted Road

Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Life's Twisted Road - Chap 25"
Pages turn, stories change, bonds crumble

18 total reviews 
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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It's a shame no one listens to Isabella, it's time for her to stop looking after everyone, and let them get on with it. It would be good if Nat did have a lecture from her father, that's where she belongs, not staying with her grandmother who she has no respect for and doesn't care how stressed out she is making her. Makes me so cross!! This is a really well written chapter, Carol, and I can't wait to read on. Love and hugs, Sandra xx

 Comment Written 24-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
    Thank you, Sandra. My emotions have been running high while I write these last few chapters. And of course, the drama within my family continues to march on. I just told Carissa (the grandaughter with the 3 girls) where I visit (and enjoy myself) that I would gladly live down there 6 months out of the year but she needs a bigger house...she's already looking for one. She got really excited and told me to pack and come on down. At least I know that family loves me.

    Chap 26 is written and 27 is half way done. Just don't have the money to post yet. Hopefully, tomorrow people will be posting more stories for me to read. Slows me down a little with the writing, but we're almost to the end.

    Thank you as always. Love you, Carol
reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 24-Feb-2024
    Oh, Carol, you must go. It will be so much nicer for you. Let the others get on with it, you've done your share, more than your fair share. Now go and
    get packed and move down there and live in peace with your other granddaughter. Sell your house and live next door to them permenantly!!!! Even better idea. YOU need to put yourself FIRST for a change. Love you, too! xxxx
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
    When the time comes, I will seriously consider it. I know I would be much happier. Problem is I have three houses...the one on the river where I live, a 4 family apartment that gives me income and the house I bought in 1974, I can't sell the river house because my mom and I and Matt made an agreement that it would be his after I die. The other things I can work out. But she needs a house first because I have Johnny to take with me and my two furbabies. I certainly would go when it is time.

    Love ya, Carol
Comment from eliz100
Excellent
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This is another excellent chapter. You have created another great hook. You are such a prolific writer. I don't have to wait long for the next chapter. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.

 Comment Written 24-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
    This story kind of grabbed a hold of me and has had my fingers flying across the key board in the middle of the night. I do love it when a story just comes to me like this one. I was struggling for so long to write again and then pow...I guess my muse woke up. LOL

    Smile, Carol
reply by eliz100 on 24-Feb-2024
    WOW!
Comment from patcelaw
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a very well written chapter in the ongoing book. I enjoyed very much listening to it, and it kept my attention the whole way through. I wish you the very best with all of your writing because you are a very good writer. Have a good day and may God bless you.

 Comment Written 24-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
    Thank you so much for reading, for leaving your comments and of course, I am blessed by the stars. I appreciate them, your encouragement, and your support.

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from BethShelby
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It is a wonder a lot of these teenage girls manage to grow up in this dangerous world of today. Especially when they when they go out with much older guys who are dealing drugs and drinking. I'm thankful all my grandchildren are grown but who knows what they next generation will face. I'm be sick with worry to if I was Isabella too. If they are family, you can't help but love them even if they are little Hellions.

 Comment Written 24-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
    Yeah, I remember Kaitlyn arriving Christmas morning in a bright red halter top that barely kept her breasts contained and a short black mini skirt. Now the girl is heavily endowed on top and sports a wide set of hips. Needless to say, if she'd been mine, she'd never have left the house, but she's not. Little did I know that in less than a day she would bring my world crashing down. Her and her mother are a handful. Thanks for the kind review. There's either two or three chapters left. Watch out!

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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Isabella is right to be worried about these girls they are getting themselves into big trouble. Those guys are looking for Juan and the police are on to him too. Besides the girls are going to be with older boys, not a good combination. I really like this story.

 Comment Written 24-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
    It's not a good situation all the way around. Everything starts to fall to pieces even while the two girls think they've got the world by the tale. Two chapters or possibly three to bring the walls down.

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Elise H
Excellent
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I'm new to this book but it was really easy to jump in and your writing was clear and detailed. My favorite section was the conversation with Ava at the end of the chapter. I felt like the dialogue was realistic and flowed well back and forth to show their dynamic.

The one minor piece of feedback I have is that in the beginning when the girls are describing their clothes I think they might be a little over described. What I mean is that I think if the girls are right in front of each other it doesn't make real sense for one of them to describe what she's wearing when the other one can clearly see it. I think it might feel more realistic to have the character just says something like: "What do you think?" she asked, doing a shimmy in her new leather pants. "Too much like Grease? I've got the jacket too."

Thanks for sharing your story, and I hope this feedback is useful to you!

 Comment Written 24-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
    First, let me thank you, Elsie, for kindly stopping by to read this chapter and enjoy. It's coming close to the final chapters and a big explosion so I am glad you enjoyed it.

    I'll take another look at the beginning. I thought I wrote the description so the reader would get the picture, but if I put in the dialogue, I need to change that. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.

    Have a great day!
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Mrs. KT
Excellent
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Good morning, Carol,
Wow!
That Natasha is a "piece of work!"
And so is her mother, Ava.
I was/am very impressed with the dialogue between Ava and her mother. Very realistic and I could visualize it all taking place.

One tiny nit:

"Come on. We want to get out of her (here) before my grandmother gets home."

On to the next chapter!
Thank you for sharing!
diane

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 Comment Written 24-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
    Good morning, Diane.

    Thank you for stopping by to read another chapter. You are so right about Ava and Natasha. Their characters at time have become to real to me, as well. I fixed the error, thank you. There's only a few chapters left and so much is going to explode. Hopefully, you'll enjoy the read.

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Excellent
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You've got a lot going on here but you handle it well. I like how you are building tension. I can feel conflicts brewing which is great. I look forward to seeing what happens as this story continues to develop. The writing is solid. I enjoyed it!

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 Comment Written 24-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
    Good morning, Michael!

    Thank you for stopping by to read another chapter in my story. I appreciate your comments and encouragement very much. You are correct.... a big conflict is waiting just around the corner.

    Thank you again....

    Smiles, Carol