Everything Changes Time
time changes everything and...19 total reviews
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Very creative (get it?).
I would imagine that fossils in huge slabs of rock were challenging for you fellas. But it would appear you (all) have been very busy. You, nearly, convinced me! (smiley face here)
Good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
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Very creative (get it?).
I would imagine that fossils in huge slabs of rock were challenging for you fellas. But it would appear you (all) have been very busy. You, nearly, convinced me! (smiley face here)
Good luck in the contest
Comment Written 22-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
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Sorry for the delay in replying. I appreciate all your fine words. Thanks so much for reviewing!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. Unfortunately, although it's fantasy it's sort of like out government rewriting history, isn't it? Good luck with the contest.
Two faced us ,broadly smiling. (move comma closer to 'us,')
He looked straight into the student's eye and said. "That is (said,)
That's our message! (missing ending quotation mark, 'message!")
Don't you think, in today's world, men can stand just knowing the truth? (missing ending quotation mark, 'truth?")
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
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Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. Unfortunately, although it's fantasy it's sort of like out government rewriting history, isn't it? Good luck with the contest.
Two faced us ,broadly smiling. (move comma closer to 'us,')
He looked straight into the student's eye and said. "That is (said,)
That's our message! (missing ending quotation mark, 'message!")
Don't you think, in today's world, men can stand just knowing the truth? (missing ending quotation mark, 'truth?")
Comment Written 22-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
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Sorry for the delay in replying. I appreciate all your fine suggestions. Thanks so much for reviewing!
Comment from jmdg1954
Whoa. Quite a different tact and style of topic from what I've read of yours in the past.
With that being said, it was very well written in which I did not spot any glaring errors.
Nicely done and best of luck in the contest.
John
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
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Whoa. Quite a different tact and style of topic from what I've read of yours in the past.
With that being said, it was very well written in which I did not spot any glaring errors.
Nicely done and best of luck in the contest.
John
Comment Written 22-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
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Sorry for the delay in replying. I appreciate all your fine words. I like to try my hand at something different, but not so far as to offend God while doing it.
Comment from BethShelby
This is quite a fantasy. It should do really well in the fantasy writing contest. I 'm impressed with the way you make you fantasy seem that it is something real. I hate to think everything we believe is lies but I'm sure a large portion of it is.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
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This is quite a fantasy. It should do really well in the fantasy writing contest. I 'm impressed with the way you make you fantasy seem that it is something real. I hate to think everything we believe is lies but I'm sure a large portion of it is.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
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Sorry for the delay in replying. I appreciate all your fine words. Thanks so much for reviewing!
Comment from Mrs. KT
It resembled a Masonic symbol, but instead of a "G", it had s (a) "P".
Hello, Jim,
What an interesting premise that I enjoyed reading. I studied archeology as an undergraduate as part of my requirements for a degree in Sociology. Always fascinated. And what I term as "realistic fantasy" has always intrigued me - not only for content but because I have no ability to attempt writing it! Kudos to your work!
Some edits you might want to consider:
*None of you have (has) any lasting ties. Some of you have begun relationships (None = No one = must take singular verb.)
*"None of you were (was) chosen purely at random.
*None of those records were (was) ever authentic.
*Through the years, many fellow members disappeared, (;) their names and memories forever blotted from this world.
*Two faced us ,broadly smiling. (spacing of the comma)
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
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It resembled a Masonic symbol, but instead of a "G", it had s (a) "P".
Hello, Jim,
What an interesting premise that I enjoyed reading. I studied archeology as an undergraduate as part of my requirements for a degree in Sociology. Always fascinated. And what I term as "realistic fantasy" has always intrigued me - not only for content but because I have no ability to attempt writing it! Kudos to your work!
Some edits you might want to consider:
*None of you have (has) any lasting ties. Some of you have begun relationships (None = No one = must take singular verb.)
*"None of you were (was) chosen purely at random.
*None of those records were (was) ever authentic.
*Through the years, many fellow members disappeared, (;) their names and memories forever blotted from this world.
*Two faced us ,broadly smiling. (spacing of the comma)
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 22-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
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Sorry for the delay in replying. I appreciate all your fine suggestions. Thanks so much for reviewing!
Comment from royowen
I must admit this is different, I'm impressed Jim, you've taken the other tack, which is not easy to do, considering what you believe, we know Christ allowed Himselfto be crucified, as He told Pilate, you don't take my life, I lay it down, would we change our mind? Beautifully written, blessings Roy
Typo I held (piece) peace?
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
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I must admit this is different, I'm impressed Jim, you've taken the other tack, which is not easy to do, considering what you believe, we know Christ allowed Himselfto be crucified, as He told Pilate, you don't take my life, I lay it down, would we change our mind? Beautifully written, blessings Roy
Typo I held (piece) peace?
Comment Written 22-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
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Sorry for the delay in replying. I appreciate all your fine words, Roy. Thanks so much for reviewing!
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Bless you
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God Bless!
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You too
Comment from lyenochka
You have quite the imagination, Jim! Please don't start any new conspiracy theories because you may get a real following.
This does feel like there could be a hidden group that is secretly creating all that stuff about evolution and the caron-14 "malarkey."
Best wishes in the contest!
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reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
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You have quite the imagination, Jim! Please don't start any new conspiracy theories because you may get a real following.
This does feel like there could be a hidden group that is secretly creating all that stuff about evolution and the caron-14 "malarkey."
Best wishes in the contest!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
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Sorry for the delay in replying. I appreciate all your fine words. Thanks so much for reviewing!
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Nicely done. An intriguing piece to be sure. Just one thing that confused me. Two was the only person to know the exact entry point to the chamber, then later you write that after 6 months of successful action, the students will be given full knowledge. This doesn't seem to gel well. kay
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2024
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Nicely done. An intriguing piece to be sure. Just one thing that confused me. Two was the only person to know the exact entry point to the chamber, then later you write that after 6 months of successful action, the students will be given full knowledge. This doesn't seem to gel well. kay
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2024
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I'll try to clarify that point. Thanks! I also added another song.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
This is most excellent. But what happened to all that money? This is a very involving, well-written story. I just love it. I wouldn't change a thing. You pull us in, give us a mystery, give us drips and dabs of information, and stir the pot. Lovely, lovely work. Karen
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2024
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This is most excellent. But what happened to all that money? This is a very involving, well-written story. I just love it. I wouldn't change a thing. You pull us in, give us a mystery, give us drips and dabs of information, and stir the pot. Lovely, lovely work. Karen
Comment Written 21-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2024
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Many thanks! These have been a grueling two days and I wanted to finish at least one story.
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This may be the best thing you have written, I love it. Karen
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Sorry I've been so busy lately. If I missed any of your writings, I'll try to make it up! I thank you for those precious words! They men more than any award could men!
