Life's Twisted Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Life's Twisted Road - Chap 21"Pages turn, stories change, bonds crumble
18 total reviews
Comment from LJbutterfly
Every chapter has me hanging onto the edge of my chair. Every chapter I hope truth is revealed, but the web is woven tighter and tighter. Jason didn't reveal anything, and Audrey wants Dion's family to pay her. Now we have Big Frank to worry about. It would be nice if someone scared Natasha. This is your most detailed novel yet.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2024
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Every chapter has me hanging onto the edge of my chair. Every chapter I hope truth is revealed, but the web is woven tighter and tighter. Jason didn't reveal anything, and Audrey wants Dion's family to pay her. Now we have Big Frank to worry about. It would be nice if someone scared Natasha. This is your most detailed novel yet.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2024
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Yes, Lorraine, I too see something different in this particular novel versus my other detective novels. I think there is more of me woven into it. Whatever is happening, I have never felt so relieved as I write. Thank you so much for being so kind and generous. The stars are above and beyond.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from patcelaw
This is getting to be more exciting as I'm reading along with the story. You're writing is very well done and I enjoyed listening to it too. May you have a really good week. Patricia .
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2024
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This is getting to be more exciting as I'm reading along with the story. You're writing is very well done and I enjoyed listening to it too. May you have a really good week. Patricia .
Comment Written 19-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2024
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Thank you so much. I am thrilled that you are enjoying the story.
Have a great day!
Smiles. Carol
Comment from karenina
You wrote that dialogue with the coach as though you were a psychologist, my friend. A perfect way to draw Jason in and make him think twice about his actions (and non-actions).
Likewise, it seems well in line with Audrey's behavior so far to "spill it" when it comes to wanting to pin drugs and therefore the crash, on Dion.
As for Juan...oh boy. When you swim with the big fish life gets a lot more dangerous!
Another fine chapter.
One edit:
*"Yeah, get in, and will take a little ride."
Karenina
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2024
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You wrote that dialogue with the coach as though you were a psychologist, my friend. A perfect way to draw Jason in and make him think twice about his actions (and non-actions).
Likewise, it seems well in line with Audrey's behavior so far to "spill it" when it comes to wanting to pin drugs and therefore the crash, on Dion.
As for Juan...oh boy. When you swim with the big fish life gets a lot more dangerous!
Another fine chapter.
One edit:
*"Yeah, get in, and will take a little ride."
Karenina
Comment Written 19-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2024
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I fear the girls are going to be in over their heads as well... And nobody seems to see it coming.
Thank you as always for the kind thoughts and the review. Error is fixed. Glad you liked the chapter.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
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Hey, just like in real life! Young girls playing with fire get burned!
:)
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Yes, they do, but then for who knows what reason they try to blame it on someone else...of course, it wasn't their fault.
Smiles...
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THERE IS AN ARSONIST! (At least in my family...nobody is responsible for nuthin!)
LOL
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Yup! Nobody did it....I just can't find that nobody
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It's always been the case.
Comment from BethShelby
You certainly know how to put intrigue into you books. When I see you've posted I can way to read it. If your story was in book form, I probably wouldn't take a break until it was finished.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2024
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You certainly know how to put intrigue into you books. When I see you've posted I can way to read it. If your story was in book form, I probably wouldn't take a break until it was finished.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2024
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Now that's flattering and I thank you. I hope I can self publish this one, even if it's just for me. Writing it has helped a lot. I've never published so I don't know what it takes. Thanks for being so kind.
Smiles, Carol
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You should be published everything you write. You are a talented writer. You need an agent. If you self publish I know you can figure it out, if I did. Marketing it is the trick.
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My son told me the same thing ...marketing is the key. I don't have a lot of money anymore thanks to my family but I would like to have something in print.
Take care!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Well, it would teach those two girls a lesson if they did get caught. This has been a hell of a story so far, Carol. It's all go, I'd hate to live like that. Unfortunately, Natasha is heading down that road and will soon be well and truly caught up in all the drugs and prostitution if she's not careful. Another great chapter, my friend. Well done!! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2024
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Well, it would teach those two girls a lesson if they did get caught. This has been a hell of a story so far, Carol. It's all go, I'd hate to live like that. Unfortunately, Natasha is heading down that road and will soon be well and truly caught up in all the drugs and prostitution if she's not careful. Another great chapter, my friend. Well done!! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 19-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2024
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It's going to take a lot before these girls learn anything about real life, They are spoiled and believe the world is their oyster. Matt keeps asking me every night if I have chosen the ending yet.... happy or sad. I can't decide. Part of me says everyone wants a happy ending, but part of me wants the girls to pay for all the anguish they cause. Horrible of me, huh?
Thank you for reading all the chapters and getting caught up on the shenanigans. And a special thank you for gracing me with a six...
Smiles, hugs, and love. Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This isn't going to end well for Juan. I do hope Jackson is going to stick with the evidence. The coach knows what's going on. He just needs proof. Nat and her friend are no good. Love the story.
We spent day and night, planning our future to play with the pros â?" together. (Evil Eddie)
Nothing is going to happen to him. His life will go on, but Bobby's dead." "Shouldn't he pay?" (dead. Shouldn't)
facing the sheriff. "So,
Bobby's past makes him a murderer? Now who's putting the blame where it doesn't belong?" (move Bobby's... closer to "So,)
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2024
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This isn't going to end well for Juan. I do hope Jackson is going to stick with the evidence. The coach knows what's going on. He just needs proof. Nat and her friend are no good. Love the story.
We spent day and night, planning our future to play with the pros â?" together. (Evil Eddie)
Nothing is going to happen to him. His life will go on, but Bobby's dead." "Shouldn't he pay?" (dead. Shouldn't)
facing the sheriff. "So,
Bobby's past makes him a murderer? Now who's putting the blame where it doesn't belong?" (move Bobby's... closer to "So,)
Comment Written 19-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2024
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Errors fixed.... Computer doesn't like me or else I'm getting blinder by the second...Been writing, reading and posting a lot. My eyes can't take it....And my back is moaning and groaning too! LOL Thank you so much as always.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Julie Helms
Good stuff! I am really impressed with how many different storylines you have running side-by-side here. Do you keep a board with all this stuff pinned up on it so you can keep it straight?
1.planning our future to play with the pros â?"
(Computer gibberish)
2. His life will go on, but Bobby's dead." "Shouldn't he pay?"
(You don't need the second set of quotes before 'shouldn't' if it's all the same person talking.)
You're keeping me hooked! Thanks. Julie. :-)
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reply by the author on 19-Feb-2024
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Good stuff! I am really impressed with how many different storylines you have running side-by-side here. Do you keep a board with all this stuff pinned up on it so you can keep it straight?
1.planning our future to play with the pros â?"
(Computer gibberish)
2. His life will go on, but Bobby's dead." "Shouldn't he pay?"
(You don't need the second set of quotes before 'shouldn't' if it's all the same person talking.)
You're keeping me hooked! Thanks. Julie. :-)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2024
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Thanks Julie...Errors fixed and thank you. No boards...just a rough outline of events so I keep them in order.
Thanks so much for the review.
Smiles, Carol
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My daughter does one of those boards for her writing. She calls it her murder board. Apparently that's a reference to detectives solving crimes. Lol!
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Masterclass and some of their writers suggest you put every detail on a board. I sketch a quick outline because most of the time the story writes itself and changes while I go.
Comment from Baltimore Born
WOW! There is a lot going on in this story. The death of "Bobby" has created a lot of drama. When the coach talked to "Jason" in his office I could feel the nervousness. The sheriff's interaction with "Audrey" produced strong emotions from her. Then, the situation with "Juan" and the two girls was dramatic. However, the entrance of "Big Frank" added another dynamic to the story. Nice job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2024
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WOW! There is a lot going on in this story. The death of "Bobby" has created a lot of drama. When the coach talked to "Jason" in his office I could feel the nervousness. The sheriff's interaction with "Audrey" produced strong emotions from her. Then, the situation with "Juan" and the two girls was dramatic. However, the entrance of "Big Frank" added another dynamic to the story. Nice job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2024
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Thank you very much for stopping by and reading this chapter, I am thrilled that you enjoyed it.
Smiles, Carol
