Return To Concorde Valley
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Hard Decisions"Fantasy based on the intersection of two worlds.
22 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Hi Rhonda, so much happened in this chapter and now they've taken on Hades. I wonder how that will pan out. Your spinning a wonderful yarn with this story. I love it. Ulla xcx
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Hi Rhonda, so much happened in this chapter and now they've taken on Hades. I wonder how that will pan out. Your spinning a wonderful yarn with this story. I love it. Ulla xcx
Comment Written 18-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Thank you so much, Ulla! I appreciate your kind words. They definitely will take on Hades, or at least try, lol.
Thanks for the beautiful six stars and for sticking with me on this yarn.
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I really love this story and look forward to reading it each week. Now I am really worried what Hades is up to. It can't be any good. I do hope our friends will be safe.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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I really love this story and look forward to reading it each week. Now I am really worried what Hades is up to. It can't be any good. I do hope our friends will be safe.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Hi Barbara, and thank you so much for your lovely review and six stars. Thank you for your comments. They really do brighten my heart.
Hades, definitely, is up to no good.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Mike Stevens
Another fine chapter, Rhonda....glad Diantha is going, you don't mess with Mama. One typo, Hercules in the line
"Hercules got in trouble and had to...." Hercules is misspelled, or, I'm an idiot who should just keep his mouth shut!
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Another fine chapter, Rhonda....glad Diantha is going, you don't mess with Mama. One typo, Hercules in the line
"Hercules got in trouble and had to...." Hercules is misspelled, or, I'm an idiot who should just keep his mouth shut!
Comment Written 18-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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No, I actually switched between the Greek and English spellings or Hercules and should have explained that in the notes. Thanks for pointing it out.
Take care,
Rhonda
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Sorry, I was unaware
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That's okay. I still need to go back and fix that. I'm sure others think the same.
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent writing. You have a way of ending each chapter that makes the reader eagerly await the next addition. I'm enjoying the story immensely, and I look forward to more.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Excellent writing. You have a way of ending each chapter that makes the reader eagerly await the next addition. I'm enjoying the story immensely, and I look forward to more.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Thank you so much, dear friend. I'm glad you're enjoying the book. I've had fun writing it. I love Greek Mythology and always have. I'm just trying to work it into a modern day story.
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from Gunner Lil
A lengthy chapter but a fast read that is full of information about what taking place and how the players view them.
Good dialogue.
I like: "midlife sabbatical"
Good job. Thank you.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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A lengthy chapter but a fast read that is full of information about what taking place and how the players view them.
Good dialogue.
I like: "midlife sabbatical"
Good job. Thank you.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Hi Gunner, and thank you so much for the review. I appreciate your comments, and about the phrase you liked. I started to put mid life crisis, but thought that a bit overused, lol.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Daylily
I was excited to see another posting in this series. I like that you are weaving bits of mythology history into the story. And you always find a good place to end that leaves readers wanting to read more.
Some notes:
In my study of writing techniques, I once read that we need to be cautious about the unintentional visual images certain phrasings create. One example I can remember is: She threw her eyes across the valley.
Words in the second paragraph fit into this category -- Echo cut her eyes over apprehensively, but nodded. This is an important point because readers can easily stumble over such descriptions and that is not what we want, especially at the beginning of a story.
Additionally, a spirilling staircase is usually narrow. Why would they be linking arms before using it unless one of them is feeble? -- To help clarify it, perhaps describe it as being a wide spirilling staircase.
Also, if the arm linking is to show warmth and growing affection, just a touch on the shoulder before stepping onto the staircase would also indicate such feelings.
These are just some thoughts that came to mind while reading,
X X Lily
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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I was excited to see another posting in this series. I like that you are weaving bits of mythology history into the story. And you always find a good place to end that leaves readers wanting to read more.
Some notes:
In my study of writing techniques, I once read that we need to be cautious about the unintentional visual images certain phrasings create. One example I can remember is: She threw her eyes across the valley.
Words in the second paragraph fit into this category -- Echo cut her eyes over apprehensively, but nodded. This is an important point because readers can easily stumble over such descriptions and that is not what we want, especially at the beginning of a story.
Additionally, a spirilling staircase is usually narrow. Why would they be linking arms before using it unless one of them is feeble? -- To help clarify it, perhaps describe it as being a wide spirilling staircase.
Also, if the arm linking is to show warmth and growing affection, just a touch on the shoulder before stepping onto the staircase would also indicate such feelings.
These are just some thoughts that came to mind while reading,
X X Lily
Comment Written 18-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Lily, thank you so much for the advice!! I will try to watch for the images you talked about, though I'm not really clear on them. I'll look into it to know what to avoid.
Good call on the staircase. You are so clever!! I'll go back and make changes.
Hugs,
Rhonda
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The article I read said that there can be humorous responses to certain phrasings, such as suddenly picturing someone actually taking out their eyes and throwing them across a valley. It said, at times, plain writing is more effective that poetic expression, i.e. She looked with hope across the valley.
One of the intriguing things about writing is that we are always learning and improving. It really is an adventure! :-)
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Indeed it is a learning process. I went back and made the changes, and I like the way they sound. You're right, and I try to avoid cliches, but didn't think about the more subtle ones. Thank you so much!!
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:-)
Comment from Sally Law
Oh, wow! So much happened in this chapter. I love the spiritual undertones here and Phoebus and Diantha's decision to fight Hades. It much like our battle against Satan and his hordes. (He, too, is out of control!) Theo and Echo have been given much responsibility now as keepers and defenders of Concorde Valley. Methinks a wedding is not far behind. Fabulous chapter with much more coming. I'm glued. Sending you my best today as always, and big love across the bridge.
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Oh, wow! So much happened in this chapter. I love the spiritual undertones here and Phoebus and Diantha's decision to fight Hades. It much like our battle against Satan and his hordes. (He, too, is out of control!) Theo and Echo have been given much responsibility now as keepers and defenders of Concorde Valley. Methinks a wedding is not far behind. Fabulous chapter with much more coming. I'm glued. Sending you my best today as always, and big love across the bridge.
Sal XOs
Comment Written 18-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Hi Sally!!! Good morning, and thank you for jumping in to review!
Thank you ever so much for the stars!! They have brightened my morning, dear one!!
I agree on Satan and his hordes!! They are way out of control!!
Yes, Theo and Echo have their hands full, but neither will sit on their hands, not for long, anyway. Theo isn't finished with the idea that he can do more than babysit. Therefore, hopeless romantic, the wedding may be a ways off, lol.
You're so right on the spiritual undertones. They are very much intended, just as in your books. Not everyone appreciates that aspect, but we are who we are, right??
Much love across the bridge,
Rhonda
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My pleasure ad always. A real treat today. Much love across the bridge.
Sal Xos
Comment from Begin Again
Quite a beautiful, yet suspenseful story filled with intrigue and possibilities among immortals. I enjoyed reading and the flow of the story filled in gaps of knowledge of who and what is expected in Concorde Valley. Diantha has proven herself to be not only a mother and wife, but a strong independent warrior as well.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Quite a beautiful, yet suspenseful story filled with intrigue and possibilities among immortals. I enjoyed reading and the flow of the story filled in gaps of knowledge of who and what is expected in Concorde Valley. Diantha has proven herself to be not only a mother and wife, but a strong independent warrior as well.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 18-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Thank you so much, Carol, for the lovely review. I'm glad you enjoyed the sort of calm before the storm chapter. I will be writing a prequel about how Diantha and Phoebus met. I'm sort of dropping some foreshadowing for the next book.
Thanks so much,
Hugs,
Rhonda
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Smiles and hugs! Have a great day!
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Excellent plot movement despite the lack of action. The promise of action to come is sufficient. You do a good job of summarizing the history behind the conversation.
This is a very well-written chapter. Good work.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Excellent plot movement despite the lack of action. The promise of action to come is sufficient. You do a good job of summarizing the history behind the conversation.
This is a very well-written chapter. Good work.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Thank you for the comments, Wayne. I know this chapter wasn't much on action, but it was important to develop characters and set up the next scenes.
I appreciate you saying it's well written, because I know you pay careful attention to detail and intent. I appreciate both more than you could know.
Take care,
Rhonda
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We just can have action/drama/suspense in every little FanStory segment. It's a problem with the site. But I don't much enjoy 2-3K pieces either. Guess we'll just have to cope. (straight face here)
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I'll keep that in mind for future chapters. As you can guess, I've written ahead and have to chop it off at some point to keep it short enough, but with what you said in mind, I will try and treat each chapter more like flash fiction. I can smooth it out later before publishing. Again, thanks for the advice!!
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Thank you for the nod. That was very nice. I thought you might use her for Echo or Hanna. Isn't that picture too young for Diantha? And phoebus and apollo are the same person. One is the greek name and one is the roman name. I found that out when I was researching the gods for pictures. Karen
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reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Thank you for the nod. That was very nice. I thought you might use her for Echo or Hanna. Isn't that picture too young for Diantha? And phoebus and apollo are the same person. One is the greek name and one is the roman name. I found that out when I was researching the gods for pictures. Karen
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Ahhh, well they weren't intended to be the same. I'll have to bring something up about him being named after his cousin, who, by the way, will return eventually. I appreciate the heads up on that one, lol, I can't believe I didn't notice as well when I was researching names.
Diantha is immortal and is frozen in time, so to speak, from when she became immortal. It was remarked on early in the book, so you might not remember it. Echo asks her why she looks so young.
Echo has much shorter hair and it's not quite as red. I thought to use the picture for her, but I've waited a long time to find Diantha. I will do a prequel as soon as this book is finished.
Take care,
Rhonda
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I will find an Echo.
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Thank you!
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you are welcome I found a few more, as this story can take off in so many directions. Karen