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Life's Twisted Road

Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Life's Twisted Road - Chap 8"
Pages turn, stories change, bonds crumble

16 total reviews 
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
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Poor Dion, That must be what is meant by "No good deed goes unpunished" Gabby got a horrible Dad. I guess a lot of men would ready to kill some one they thought migh have impregnated their daughter gut just because she was there didn't necessarily mean she was pregnant. She might have visiting someone she knew there. He punchs an asked questions later. Good story.

 Comment Written 04-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
    Bobby's a loose cannon and he's just looking to take his anger out on someone whether it's Gabby, Dion, or someone else. For certain, some one's going to get hurt.

    Thanks as always, Beth. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Ric Myworld
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Yes, you always have a little bit of everything in every chapter. It's always kind of like a roller coaster as the ride takes us up and down and leave us wondering what comes next. LOL. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 04-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 04-Feb-2024
    Yup...just like my life! You're awesome and I appreciate your friendship and kindness so very much. You are like a life preserver in the middle of this tidal wave. Thank you so much. You are worth more than all the stars... but they are appreciated.

    Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Excellent
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Very nice continuation. Jason is far too immature, emotional, and self-absorbed to be of any use to Gabby. Dion is a good man already, and no doubt will offer himself as husband even of a temporary nature to Gabby in order to help her out. We will see. Good writing. Karen

 Comment Written 04-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 04-Feb-2024
    Dion's heart is in the right place and he understands how difficult things are for Gabby. Jason and her dad aren't quite made from the same cloth as Dion. Only time will tell.

    Smiles and hugs, Carol
reply by Karen Cherry Threadgill on 05-Feb-2024
    You write well. Have a good weekend. Karen :-)
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
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Oh my goodness, what a rough violent bully of a father! Act first without finding out any details, not asking any questions. Well written, and holds the interest well.
Wendy

 Comment Written 04-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 04-Feb-2024
    I rewrote the last paragraph this morning, demonstrating a little better why Dion was caught off guard by Bobby. Someone mentioned that a star quarterback wouldn't take a punch to the gut...and then I realized Bobby was attacking from behind. I hope that cleared things up for some.

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
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This is well written and edited but there are an awful lot of coincidences at this exact time and place. A lot.

notes:

He rushed toward Dion, smashing his clenched fist into the teenager's gut. Caught off-guard,

-Isn't Dion a star quarterback. This shouldn't happen. Not in the front (the gut)

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 Comment Written 03-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 04-Feb-2024
    I thank you so much for your thoughts. I was in a rush when I finished out the chapter, knowing something didn't seem exactly right, but you brought it to my attention and I thank you. I intended for the fight to carry over into the next chapter, but it is significant that Bobby should have caught him from behind, taking the advantage. Thanks!

    Carol
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
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You have done a good job of revealing Dion's true nature, the kind of guy who has a strong sense of justice. He feels sorry for Gabby and seriously disappointed with his friend. As a hero he is wonderful, but stupid drunk Gabby's father is going to hurt him seriously, I fear.

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 Comment Written 03-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 04-Feb-2024
    Thanks, Carol.... Your fears are spot-on! He's never been a man to think things through, especially when he's drunk. He believes his strength makes him right, no matter what.

    Smiles, Carol