The Colonoscopy That Wasn't
I was scheduled for a procedure that didn't happen27 total reviews
Comment from Debbie Pope
Everything about this post is absurd. I absolutely cannot imagine that the hospital would cancel your colonoscopy for any reason. That Golightly stuff is the worst part, and you took it for nothing. That's the saddest part. And a 39 car pile up? That is unbelievable--something you hear about every few years on the news.
Gary Larson would have fun with this story. I thought that it was exceptional.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2024
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Everything about this post is absurd. I absolutely cannot imagine that the hospital would cancel your colonoscopy for any reason. That Golightly stuff is the worst part, and you took it for nothing. That's the saddest part. And a 39 car pile up? That is unbelievable--something you hear about every few years on the news.
Gary Larson would have fun with this story. I thought that it was exceptional.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2024
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Hello Debbie,
thanks so much for the wonderful review gal. People around here seem to drive like maniacs sometimes. Give a guy a pickup and he thinks he's invincible. Of course not everyone is driving a pickup, some people just don't think that anything bad is going to happen, and they drive much faster than they should for the conditions. We've had days of below zero weather, and the bridges stay icy long after the pavement thaws. I guess with the code black they don't know how many doctors or nurses will be needed, so they didn't let anyone perform any other jobs, and I wasn't willing to sit around and wait. Yes, I'd like to see what Gary could do with a situation like this. Have a blessed evening gal.
Tom
Comment from Ric Myworld
The name Golightly and you calling it a misnomer got me so tickled a bit my tongue. You're the only person I know who could write about a colonoscopy and make it so fun and entertaining. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2024
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The name Golightly and you calling it a misnomer got me so tickled a bit my tongue. You're the only person I know who could write about a colonoscopy and make it so fun and entertaining. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2024
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Hi Ric,
I'm so glad you liked this. You have to laugh to keep from crying I guess. I have a friend who was talking about getting a prostate exam. He said he always checks the doctors fingers before he lets them proceed. He claims he doesn't want anyone with a finger like a Snicker's bar to be probing around in the nether regions.
Have a blessed evening my friend.
Tom
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ROFL! I don't let no doctor do any prostate exam. But I usually have 14 or 16 polyps every time I have a colonoscopy. Therefore I have to get one every two years. And as much as you don't like the idea, you need to get one. I wouldn't be here if I hadn't got checked. :-)
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Thanks for the concern Ric. Right now the experience is too fresh in my mind, but I may relent and do it at a later date. I'm glad you're here buddy.
Comment from jessizero
This story contained a very real tragedy, but it was very funny despite that. I had to take Golightly once, and it is just how you described it. I love the more appropriate names you gave it. I probably would have rescheduled, but I don't blame you for not doing that. Thanks for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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This story contained a very real tragedy, but it was very funny despite that. I had to take Golightly once, and it is just how you described it. I love the more appropriate names you gave it. I probably would have rescheduled, but I don't blame you for not doing that. Thanks for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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Hello Jessi,
I imagine I should have rescheduled, but it was such a miserable experience, and who's to say that something else won't come up. It seems like the hospital, like everything else, is getting so busy anymore, and I'm not a patient man. Thanks so much for the exceptional review and stars gal. I appreciate it.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
Comment from Jim Wile
I laughed all the way through this, Tom. I think you're right; we do have the same weird sense of humor. Just hearing about that Gary Larson cartoon cracked me up. I loved this line: "Believe me when I say, you don't dare fart." Loved your alternate names for Golightly too.
I don't blame you at all for refusing to schedule another colonoscopy. That prep is definitely the worst part. I've had 3 in my life, and I'm done with them now too. My poor wife has ulcerative colitis and has to have one every 2 years!
Great and funny story! - Jim
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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I laughed all the way through this, Tom. I think you're right; we do have the same weird sense of humor. Just hearing about that Gary Larson cartoon cracked me up. I loved this line: "Believe me when I say, you don't dare fart." Loved your alternate names for Golightly too.
I don't blame you at all for refusing to schedule another colonoscopy. That prep is definitely the worst part. I've had 3 in my life, and I'm done with them now too. My poor wife has ulcerative colitis and has to have one every 2 years!
Great and funny story! - Jim
Comment Written 29-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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Hi Jim,
I suppose I could possibly change my mind some day, but for now, the experience is too fresh in my mind. It was miserable. The plus side is that I lost four pounds. Does that mean I was full of crap, as I've been accused before? I don't know if you've ever read the Far Side, but it got to where that was the only reason I would buy a newspaper. I have all of his books I believe. Some of the cartoons are just so-so, but some are hilarious. There is one with four sections. It shows a goofy looking man with his fat little kid. They're looking in the window of a toy store. The man says- "I'll buy you that bike if you can tell me the annual rainfall of the Amazon forest." The next two boxes there is no dialogue, just the kid looking in the window. The last box it says, " Well, time's up." and they walk away. It's kind of mean, but for some reason I thought it was funny. Does that make me a bad person Jim? Oh well.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
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I thought that was funny too, Tom. Maybe we're both bad people!
The one that sticks in my mind the most is a picture of 4 or 5 different birds surrounding a pizza just delivered. It's loaded with worms, slugs, spiders, etc. The stork says, "Stink bugs? Who the hell ordered stink bugs?"
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Ha, ha, ha, I'd forgotten that one Jim! That was funny. He came up with so many great cartoons. I hated it when he stopped drawing, but at least I have the books I can look at anytime I want.
Comment from lyenochka
Oh no! That horrible prep stuff is the worst part of the colonoscopy (well for me, the anesthesia is hard to come out of). You did the worst part but didn't check out your intestines? Darn those drivers! I have a grandfather and an uncle who died from colon cancer and it just sneaks up without any symptoms until too late. So I have my colonoscopy scheduled for a couple of weeks. Sorry you went through that awful prep without any results!
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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Oh no! That horrible prep stuff is the worst part of the colonoscopy (well for me, the anesthesia is hard to come out of). You did the worst part but didn't check out your intestines? Darn those drivers! I have a grandfather and an uncle who died from colon cancer and it just sneaks up without any symptoms until too late. So I have my colonoscopy scheduled for a couple of weeks. Sorry you went through that awful prep without any results!
Comment Written 29-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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Hello Helen,
thanks for your compassion gal. It was terrible, and frankly, I've had situations like this come up so often in my life, that I wasn't surprised that I didn't get the exam. When I lived in Hoonah, the ferry broke down so often when I was scheduled to travel on it, that people used to ask me if I was going to go to Juneau on the ferry so they could schedule a different day. I sometimes fell like The Born Loser. Oh well.
Have a blessed day gal.
Tom
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Lol! You're so funny, Tom! And you are one of the most patient people I know as you have been so tolerant and enduring those "farm" years. You gained a lot of spiritual fruits along the way...💖
Comment from aryr
Wow!!! You missed the colonoscopy by breathing correctly, Tom. That Golightly should have the name other than what it was. I agree that it should be named something other than what it was, maybe SlipNSlide. I have heard of a Code Black, it was a devastating car accident, wow! Thank goodness, no one was seriously hurt. You were saved by the bell, another patient had been waiting for and hour and a half. Blessings n Peace!!!
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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Wow!!! You missed the colonoscopy by breathing correctly, Tom. That Golightly should have the name other than what it was. I agree that it should be named something other than what it was, maybe SlipNSlide. I have heard of a Code Black, it was a devastating car accident, wow! Thank goodness, no one was seriously hurt. You were saved by the bell, another patient had been waiting for and hour and a half. Blessings n Peace!!!
Comment Written 29-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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Hello aryr,
I don't know what the large white space is here, but anyway, yes I was glad no one was killed. I had never heard of a code black before, but I assumed it wasn't too good. Really though, what are the odds of it happening at the time that I'm supposed to do the operation? Sometimes I wonder if someone in heaven is laughing at me or what. Thanks so much for the great review gal.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
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You did have a blessed day! You are most welcome, Tom.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
A few years back I had a colonoscopy and you're correct about the prep. It's worse than the actual procedure. But what, the most humbling part of it is you can't go home until you fart. So, for some reason, I wasn't farting. I now had a doctor, two nurses, and my husband staring at me waiting for me to fart so I could be released. Go figure.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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A few years back I had a colonoscopy and you're correct about the prep. It's worse than the actual procedure. But what, the most humbling part of it is you can't go home until you fart. So, for some reason, I wasn't farting. I now had a doctor, two nurses, and my husband staring at me waiting for me to fart so I could be released. Go figure.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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Hello Barbara,
Oh my gal, I never realized you were so funny. I didn't know that was part of the package for release from the hospital. Did you at least get to take off the gown that exposes you to the whole world? I think they should make those things with magnets like the insect screens for doorways that you can go in and out of and they shut after you've gone through. I know that all the hospital people are used to seeing people in their birthday suits, but I don't like to show off my amazing physique to just anybody. Thanks so much for the very entertaining review gal.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
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After delivering five sons nothing is sacred anymore.
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I understand. My wife delivered five girls and twin boys. The younger boy was delivered C-section because of complications. I really think that a little more thought could go into the modesty of patients.
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I agree with the modesty part. My second son decided to be born on my way to OR for emergency C-Section. I guess wanted to be born normally. So, he came in the hallway. My last son was a C-section because of unheard of complications, the doctor rode of the be with me with his hand inside me holding Steven's head inside. No modesty at all.
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Oh my word, I've never heard tell. That's just what you want at a time when the stress level is already through the roof, and your pain is unbearable. At least, like so many others who have dealt with unusual or unpleasant circumstances, you have a story to tell. I guess you need to be selective of who you tell it though. I'm glad you survived that ordeal gal.
Blessings,
Tom
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I look back and laugh.
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By the way the second child born in the hallway, my nurse what a parent of one of my first-grade students, no less.
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It's a small world gal.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I loved The Far Side. My favorite was a picture of many people lying on the ground in a position to do the side-lying leg lift exercise (for thighs and hips). A devil is counting down from two million reps and the title underneath is "aerobics in hell". When I read it, I asked my husband, "What's wrong with that?" Of course, I was an aerobics instructor:-)
You just wanted "the whole thing behind me" - BAHAHA!!
I've been there, done that. The prep is awful, you're right, but even worse is the fact that you can't eat for 48 hours beforehand. THAT is the worst part for me.
They don't knock you out? I was - right in the middle of telling the group around me for the procedure a joke, I "left the room". When I woke up, I was in recovery.
At your age, Tom, if it hasn't killed you already, it's probably not going to.
Thanks for the share. I think, lol!
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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I loved The Far Side. My favorite was a picture of many people lying on the ground in a position to do the side-lying leg lift exercise (for thighs and hips). A devil is counting down from two million reps and the title underneath is "aerobics in hell". When I read it, I asked my husband, "What's wrong with that?" Of course, I was an aerobics instructor:-)
You just wanted "the whole thing behind me" - BAHAHA!!
I've been there, done that. The prep is awful, you're right, but even worse is the fact that you can't eat for 48 hours beforehand. THAT is the worst part for me.
They don't knock you out? I was - right in the middle of telling the group around me for the procedure a joke, I "left the room". When I woke up, I was in recovery.
At your age, Tom, if it hasn't killed you already, it's probably not going to.
Thanks for the share. I think, lol!
xo
Pam
Comment Written 29-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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Hello Pam,
I wouldn't have pegged you for a Far Side fan. Gary Larson was the best. He always drew such dorky looking characters. Your mention of hell reminded me of one where this poor fellow is sweating buckets in hell pushing a wheelbarrow, and the idiot next to him says-Heh, heh, hot enough for you?" I sometimes wondered if he was monitoring my life for material. I appreciate your thoughts on getting the procedure. The overall feeling is that I should reschedule, but for now, I don't want to. Wouldn't that be the pits to go through the procedure and then go outside the hospital and get run over? Thanks so much for the entertaining review gal.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
Comment from GWHARGIS
Working at a pharmacy, I am very familiar with Golightly and SuTab. All the delightful things that keep you chained to the toilet for your colonoscopy. Supposedly, what they give to relax you, is the best sleep you'll ever have. Lol. Your story was a hoot. Gretchen
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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Working at a pharmacy, I am very familiar with Golightly and SuTab. All the delightful things that keep you chained to the toilet for your colonoscopy. Supposedly, what they give to relax you, is the best sleep you'll ever have. Lol. Your story was a hoot. Gretchen
Comment Written 29-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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Hello Gretchen,
I figured you would have first hand knowledge of Golightly. What a name. I actually think I like it better than SuTab though. At least it shows someone has a sense of humor. I really think they should consider the handles and seatbelt as part of the program though. When I was going through the procedure I was reminded of a cartoon from a book that discussed the various bowel movements. They had one that they called a number three with the guy sitting on the john, and the toilet lifting off the floor with flames out the bottom like a rocket. I can relate.
Have a blessed day gal.
Tom
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Lol. You paint quite the visual
Comment from BethShelby
My husband had a weird sence of humor too, In the Steven King movie Misery he cracked up at Kathy Bates hobbling James Caan. He also found Deliverance funny. I've never had a colonoscopy either but I was with my husband when he had a few. He needed them and he died of colon cancer. I'm not convinced those polyps would even turn cancerous if you never let someone cut on them. You went through the worse part. There is nothing to the surgery part except the idea of what they are doing.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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My husband had a weird sence of humor too, In the Steven King movie Misery he cracked up at Kathy Bates hobbling James Caan. He also found Deliverance funny. I've never had a colonoscopy either but I was with my husband when he had a few. He needed them and he died of colon cancer. I'm not convinced those polyps would even turn cancerous if you never let someone cut on them. You went through the worse part. There is nothing to the surgery part except the idea of what they are doing.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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Hello Beth,
I'm sorry to hear about your husband. You're right, I endured the worst of it, without the payout so to speak. I'm not surprised though. Things like that happen to me all the time. I had my first bout of shingles when I was twenty. I was in the navy at the time and the corpsman couldn't believe someone my age could get them. If something is wrong with my car, it's something that no mechanic has ever seen before, and of course it's going to be expensive. I'll tell ya gal, it's a full time job being me, and the pay isn't that good either. Have a blessed day.
Tom