Life, Death, Up, Down
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "painsacreepin'"short stories
26 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is the sweetest story! It's original and so poignant in this theme of loneliness and simply needing the company of a child to feel that joy again. I worried whilst reading this that it might be misconstrued because, sadly, that's the way society has evolved. We no longer hold doors open or kiss spontaneously for fear of upsetting the woke police. A middle ground seems to be impossible when fear dominates our lives. Your story is well structured, giving background to the speaker and then a chance meeting with this little girl who seems almost a ghost-like presence, a spirit there to remind of a happier time. For a while the transformation in the speaker enchants until the shock of reality hits. But not so much that the pain will, in time, lessen. This speaks to me of solitude and loss in your inspired and inspiring story. Well done and thanks for sharing. Debbie
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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This is the sweetest story! It's original and so poignant in this theme of loneliness and simply needing the company of a child to feel that joy again. I worried whilst reading this that it might be misconstrued because, sadly, that's the way society has evolved. We no longer hold doors open or kiss spontaneously for fear of upsetting the woke police. A middle ground seems to be impossible when fear dominates our lives. Your story is well structured, giving background to the speaker and then a chance meeting with this little girl who seems almost a ghost-like presence, a spirit there to remind of a happier time. For a while the transformation in the speaker enchants until the shock of reality hits. But not so much that the pain will, in time, lessen. This speaks to me of solitude and loss in your inspired and inspiring story. Well done and thanks for sharing. Debbie
Comment Written 23-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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Thank you so much/ Your words are always appreciated. I love writing about the human condition and try to arouse emotions.
Comment from royowen
Dirty minded police, this is very touching Jim, and I imagine this guy is you, I have two daughters and God couldn't have made me happier, they are the best daughters, never giving us a moment's grief, and combined with the wife a man can have, I enjoyed the girls childhoods. This was beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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Dirty minded police, this is very touching Jim, and I imagine this guy is you, I have two daughters and God couldn't have made me happier, they are the best daughters, never giving us a moment's grief, and combined with the wife a man can have, I enjoyed the girls childhoods. This was beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 23-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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We have something else in common! I have one daughter. I asked God for a child and promised to nurture that child in admiration of the Lord. She has a few medical problems, but is 32 now and loves The Lord, writes and sings for Him, and phones each night to say "I Love You."
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What a girl!
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One day, she, I and her mom will enjoy a happy reunion!
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Hallelujah
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I am trying yo write fiction that will not dishonor God.
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You could not dishonour God Jim
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Please let me know if you ever object to anything in my writings.
Comment from Navada
Isn't it tragic that the innocent grandfatherly joy of spending time with a little girl is now so stigmatised by society? How unfortunate that the sick individuals in the world ruin things like this for everyone else. Thanks so much for sharing this.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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Isn't it tragic that the innocent grandfatherly joy of spending time with a little girl is now so stigmatised by society? How unfortunate that the sick individuals in the world ruin things like this for everyone else. Thanks so much for sharing this.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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Thank you so much! I think the few moments of happiness Suzy gave him will outweigh any future consequences.
Comment from Wendy G
Very sad. His grief upset his better judgment because he simply needed to have company, and enjoyed the pleasure of looking after her so well. A shame he ended up in jail . A very intereesting story because it leaves the reader wondering about what went before that day, and what will inevitably come after. It's just a snippet - a quick view into the day of another. Very well written, an enjoyable read.
Wendy
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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Very sad. His grief upset his better judgment because he simply needed to have company, and enjoyed the pleasure of looking after her so well. A shame he ended up in jail . A very intereesting story because it leaves the reader wondering about what went before that day, and what will inevitably come after. It's just a snippet - a quick view into the day of another. Very well written, an enjoyable read.
Wendy
Comment Written 23-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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Thank you. I do not like wrapping up everything in as nest little package. Life doesn't work that way. I'm grateful for your words and understanding.
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My hand slipped. I meant "neat" package.
Comment from Jeano
Such a bittersweet story. It made me a little nervous reading it. I kept trying to tell you to take the little girl to the police department, but you just didn't listen. LOL It's a story that will stay with me for a while. I'm sure this is totally fiction, I didn't need to fret. Anyway, you both had a great day, one to never be forgotten.
Write on!
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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Such a bittersweet story. It made me a little nervous reading it. I kept trying to tell you to take the little girl to the police department, but you just didn't listen. LOL It's a story that will stay with me for a while. I'm sure this is totally fiction, I didn't need to fret. Anyway, you both had a great day, one to never be forgotten.
Write on!
Comment Written 22-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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It is fiction. But I learned in grad school from a great TV writer that writing of the human condition is the most worthwhile.
Comment from LJbutterfly
I love your choice of protagonist... a funny man, saddened by the loss of his partner. This story proves grief can cause you to lose perspective. The style you chose to write this piece, makes it flow smoothly and quickly like a fairytale. It has an unfortunate but realistic ending. Well done.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2024
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I love your choice of protagonist... a funny man, saddened by the loss of his partner. This story proves grief can cause you to lose perspective. The style you chose to write this piece, makes it flow smoothly and quickly like a fairytale. It has an unfortunate but realistic ending. Well done.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2024
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As i told others, I try to focus on the human condition and things do not always end up happily tied and gift wrapped in real life. Thank you for your kind words!
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Great song. Thanks.
And a very nice story. But for taking too long to turn the kid in, he might be killed while in jail. Seems a bit tough. But he was certainly in the wrong and needs a few lashes.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2024
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Great song. Thanks.
And a very nice story. But for taking too long to turn the kid in, he might be killed while in jail. Seems a bit tough. But he was certainly in the wrong and needs a few lashes.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2024
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As I explained to others, i try to write about the human condition. People get depressed, they make mistakes, and must pay for them, even innocent errors in judgment. Life hardly ever has an old-fashioned Hollywood ending.
Comment from Tetamarina66
Wow this is good is this a true story?
I have run out of things to write about or even add to a chapter of my newest book Embarassing moments. So if you don't see anything new posted by me here you know why.
Just reading some posts here and there to earn some more coins to be able to promote my stuff here.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2024
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Wow this is good is this a true story?
I have run out of things to write about or even add to a chapter of my newest book Embarassing moments. So if you don't see anything new posted by me here you know why.
Just reading some posts here and there to earn some more coins to be able to promote my stuff here.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2024
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I made up the story, from scratch. I don't remember if I told you, but in Grad School I took a course in Writing For The Visual Media. The head writer of the best TV show ever was the instructor. The show was "East Side/West Side" with George C. Scott, who played a social worker in New York, probably inspiring me in my career. The show emphasized the human condition, and not everything in life ends up tied in pretty packages. That is why there's no clear winner in my story. I write about the human condition.
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Wow. I wish I had more to say but I don?t lol.
If you wonder what I look like behind the screen you can find me on Instagram under the alias Middleagedbaba. Pics of my ginger tabby cat is on there too despite he already has his own account on Instagram called lord_Mcmeow
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Please keep in touch even if you can't think of anything to say. It's always good to hear from you!
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Thanks I don?t mind keeping in touch but I don?t always have anything to say. Just self promoted one of my first chapters from my newest book I posted a day or two ago
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Just posted you on Instagram, though I don't usually use that. I posted one of my photos, but a bad one, before they operated under my eye. I always wear my cowboy hat, but am a bit less shaggy now.
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Yeah I noticed you posted I have a ton of photos and videos on Instagram. To watch videos on my Instagram just tap on the volume icon onscreen so you can hear it. Also to see multiple photos on one post just slide the photo. To do that just swipe the dots below the photo onscreen. You can if you want follow my cat Wikki on his instagram account called litd_mcmeow. And also if you use you tube I have a channel for both my current and late cat . Wikki and my old cat Scampie. The channel is called itstgeWikkiandscsmpieshiwall one word no spaces
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I will definitely check out that you tube channel. I use you tube a lot to download music.
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Okay
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Our society has got to the place that many innocent people are accused of doing horrible things and evil people get off Scott free. Thank you for sharing this story with us. I enjoyed reading.
She nodded "yes." &
She gave me a little smile and nodded "yes." (nodded. "Yes.")
Suzy frowned and shook her head, "no." (head. "No.")
"Guns are not for playthings!". I laughed, "I learned how to shoot a long time ago, but don't worry! I don't carry!" (omit the period after 'plaything!" & period after 'laughed.')
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2024
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Our society has got to the place that many innocent people are accused of doing horrible things and evil people get off Scott free. Thank you for sharing this story with us. I enjoyed reading.
She nodded "yes." &
She gave me a little smile and nodded "yes." (nodded. "Yes.")
Suzy frowned and shook her head, "no." (head. "No.")
"Guns are not for playthings!". I laughed, "I learned how to shoot a long time ago, but don't worry! I don't carry!" (omit the period after 'plaything!" & period after 'laughed.')
Comment Written 22-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2024
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I always appreciate your reviews and the ways you show me how to write better. I'll revisit and edit. Thank You!
Comment from Sabrina H.
Great and intriguing story. I love your use of description and dialogue. I really like the characters you created. Thank you for sharing.
Keep writing:)
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2024
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Great and intriguing story. I love your use of description and dialogue. I really like the characters you created. Thank you for sharing.
Keep writing:)
Comment Written 22-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2024
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And I appreciate very much your review and kind words!
