Life's Twisted Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Life's Twisted Road Chap. 2"Pages turn, stories change, bonds crumble
19 total reviews
Comment from Carol Clark2
When Peter reached for the book, I thought it would be the Lamb's Book of Life, and he would find Isabella's name there. I never expected Peter to send her back to earth to finish her work. I'm looking forward to seeing Natasha's reaction to her being alive. Good chapter. Have a blessed week. Carol
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2024
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When Peter reached for the book, I thought it would be the Lamb's Book of Life, and he would find Isabella's name there. I never expected Peter to send her back to earth to finish her work. I'm looking forward to seeing Natasha's reaction to her being alive. Good chapter. Have a blessed week. Carol
Comment Written 23-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2024
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Hello, Carol....Nice to see you visiting my story and I certainly appreciate your kindness. Peter does read Isabella's life story, but believes it is important for her to return to Natasha. Her spirit returns while her body lies in a coma at the hospital.
Smiles, Carol
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Good story! Please keep writing. Hugs!
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Peter has certainly set Isabella a difficult task. Natasha has successfully turned herself, with help from her mother and the influence of a not very nice friend, into a difficult person who doesn't mind lying and pushed her elderly grandmother down.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2024
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Peter has certainly set Isabella a difficult task. Natasha has successfully turned herself, with help from her mother and the influence of a not very nice friend, into a difficult person who doesn't mind lying and pushed her elderly grandmother down.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2024
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Hello Carol, As we will learn in future chapters, Natasha and her friends aren't the sweet innocent children they like to think they are. Unfortunately, adults have forgiven them their "slips" until they begin to believe they are entitled.
Thanks for taking the time to stop by and read my story. I hope you enjoyed it.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from prettybluebirds
It's so wonderful to be able to enjoy your superb stories again. I read the previous chapter, and this one in just as excellent. I intend to read this story to the end. Keep writing, and I will keep reading.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2024
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It's so wonderful to be able to enjoy your superb stories again. I read the previous chapter, and this one in just as excellent. I intend to read this story to the end. Keep writing, and I will keep reading.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2024
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Hello, my friend.... Thank you for enjoying my story. I know you've walked the twisted road of life too and yet, we still manage to remain standing. I appreciate your kind words as always.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from royowen
So this isn't the end after all, I think I can work out what the unfinished business that she needs to take care, she needs top preach good news to the captives, and I know there are some on earth that may be astounded by our witness, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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So this isn't the end after all, I think I can work out what the unfinished business that she needs to take care, she needs top preach good news to the captives, and I know there are some on earth that may be astounded by our witness, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 23-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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Hi Roy! Thanks again for your time and your thoughts regarding this chapter. Of course, as always, I appreciate you and your help.
Hugs, Carol
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Most welcome Carol,
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I like the melodicity of this passage: "Somewhere in the distance, a song drifted amongst the clouds. The choir's sweet words floated until they reached Isabella's ears. Their melodious sound flooded her thoughts with memories of days gone by; wonderful days of singing in the church choir and praising the Lord. Days filled with joy and family gatherings." Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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I like the melodicity of this passage: "Somewhere in the distance, a song drifted amongst the clouds. The choir's sweet words floated until they reached Isabella's ears. Their melodious sound flooded her thoughts with memories of days gone by; wonderful days of singing in the church choir and praising the Lord. Days filled with joy and family gatherings." Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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Hello, Iza Thank you so much for taking the time to read this chapter. Hopefully yu can check my portfolio and read the beginning chapter where the "story" really lies.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Frank Malley
Chapter 2 starts with the awakening of an old Christian woman who is in a beautiful but unfamiliar place. There are hints about where she is, especially the arrival of a gentle robed man. Isabella, the centering consciousness of this piece, is very critical of her failure to be more loving in her life, but she has much to learn, and something still needs her attention when she finds herself back in her bedroom, a place now of memories.I've only read this chapter, but my only criticism would be that there's an emotional flatness to this narrative. The conflict offered by Isabella's conscience seems too small, and it needs details to make it more interesting and dynamic.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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Chapter 2 starts with the awakening of an old Christian woman who is in a beautiful but unfamiliar place. There are hints about where she is, especially the arrival of a gentle robed man. Isabella, the centering consciousness of this piece, is very critical of her failure to be more loving in her life, but she has much to learn, and something still needs her attention when she finds herself back in her bedroom, a place now of memories.I've only read this chapter, but my only criticism would be that there's an emotional flatness to this narrative. The conflict offered by Isabella's conscience seems too small, and it needs details to make it more interesting and dynamic.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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Thanks for your thoughts. Always appreciated. In my opinion, the first chapter is where the conflict of the story arises as Isabella is knocked unconscious by her rebellious granddaughter and the incident is concealed with lies. It would be great if you could read the beginning and then give me suggestions on how to improve and blend the two chapters together with a better flow. Thank you - Carol
Comment from Teri7
Carol, This is a very wonderful six star chapter in my eyes. You used lots of great descriptive and moving words. Very good dialogue and it made me anxious for the time when I get to see Jesus face to face! What a wonderful time that will be. Thank you for sharing and keep on going! love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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Carol, This is a very wonderful six star chapter in my eyes. You used lots of great descriptive and moving words. Very good dialogue and it made me anxious for the time when I get to see Jesus face to face! What a wonderful time that will be. Thank you for sharing and keep on going! love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 23-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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Oh my...thank you so much, Teri. I can't even imagine the beauty and abundance of love that will be waiting when we enter heaven. It was difficult to express the glorious moment so I am honored that you felt I did a good job. I feel blessed. In my heart, I feel as if I have a story to deliver with this story and I pray I can do it justice. Hugs, Carol
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Carol, Ask the Holy Spirit to help you and He will. He has never failed to help me when I asked for His help! I am loving that story. When we put God first things fall into place! love and blessings, Teri
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I will keep on looking forward to your posts! love and blessings, teri
Comment from karenina
This is so unlike your other posts I'm trying to wrap my mind around it!
I think many of us would like a chance to "rewrite" history...
Remorse and regret would surely pull us to earth if such a thing is possible!
The image of St. Peter shuffling through a file seems too pedestrian for heaven...
"the calming voice of reason" leads me to suspect Isabella is possible n a coma.
And if by some Divine Intervention I do find myself in heaven, I'd best not hear St. Peter say: "Hush with your nonsense!"
Thanks for offering a second chapter...
Don't leave us hanging!
Karenina
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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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This is so unlike your other posts I'm trying to wrap my mind around it!
I think many of us would like a chance to "rewrite" history...
Remorse and regret would surely pull us to earth if such a thing is possible!
The image of St. Peter shuffling through a file seems too pedestrian for heaven...
"the calming voice of reason" leads me to suspect Isabella is possible n a coma.
And if by some Divine Intervention I do find myself in heaven, I'd best not hear St. Peter say: "Hush with your nonsense!"
Thanks for offering a second chapter...
Don't leave us hanging!
Karenina
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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Thank you, Karenia.... Your points are well taken and I will immediately see if I can adjust things. Writing and imaging a destroyed Isabella standing with Peter was difficult to grasp. Your suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Hope you are well, my friend. Hugs, Carol
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I'd remove all "earthly" references and fully invest in the divinity of her "experience" -- often, as they say, less is more!
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Thanks for your honest and much appreciated input. I believe if I ever am blessed with the opportunity to stand at Heaven's Gates, all words will escape me.
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That would be a first for me (LOL)...
But me too dear one!
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Here's my rewrite....
Peter scooped Isabella?s work-worn hands into his own and smiled. ?Hush, my child. You tried your best. No one is perfect. Unfortunately, others were often blind to the love you offered. It was not you who failed.?
?Forgive me, but you don?t understand. I turned my back on people, the ones I loved.?
?Did you?? He turned toward an alter filled with magnificent candles of every shape and size. Each flame flickering like a golden star. He gently opened the cover of a massive leather book. The cream-colored parchment pages, weathered by time, contained hand-written notes. Turning the sheets of paper one by one, he read the words written there. Lifting his gaze from the book, he looked into Isabella?s eyes. ?Despite the many hardships and your missteps, your heart was always in the right place on the road you traveled. You are in the house of the Lord. He has opened his arms to you. Do you doubt his wisdom??
Is that any better?
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I can't write any prose longer than a laundry list...but it sound MUCH better to me! Very ethereal and heavenly...
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You are such a dear!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I can't wait until I get to read what Isabella's unfinished business it. I am worried about Natasha. This young lady isn't at all very nice and is almost evil. Maybe Isabella is supposed to turn this child around. This is a vey good write and I couldn't find any way to improve it.
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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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I can't wait until I get to read what Isabella's unfinished business it. I am worried about Natasha. This young lady isn't at all very nice and is almost evil. Maybe Isabella is supposed to turn this child around. This is a vey good write and I couldn't find any way to improve it.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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Good morning, Barb... I'm not sure Isabella knows what path to follow, though, in her heart, she knows Natasha needs help. On the other hand, Natasha and Becky believe the world is theirs, to do what ever suits them. Like David and Goliath, they believe the power lies with them, not some ole lady. Thanks so much for the kind review. Hugs, Carol