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Spectre

Viewing comments for Chapter 41 "The New"
This is book two of a trilogy book 1 "Ghost"

15 total reviews 
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
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I am happy for you Lea as you are making a brand new start at a time you have spilt the beans to the world about your childhood and hopefully you won't be harassed about it from now on and you can have a good life.

It must be heartbreaking to be told by some uncaring man that you will have to give your baby up for adoption and many women have been forced to make this choice in the past. I am glad you fought to keep your child Lea, I would do the same. Another fine chapter, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2024

Comment from barbara.wilkey
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Babies then to change things whether we're ready or not. Thank you for sharing this with us. I do hope C comes around, but I have a feeling this was the beginning of the end of your relationship. Thank you for shairng this with us.

"Oh wow!" He said. (he said.)

The next morning while C was at work, (The following morning)

I'm sorry," I sobbed. (sorry.")

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2024

Comment from CrystieCookie999
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This chapter is full of ups and downs. I thought it read well. The prairie temperatures were definitely cold!
Little fixes:
I knew his father was talking and C didn't dare interrupt.
Maybe just stick a comma there in after talking.

After a few moments he hung up the phone and looked down at me.
You MIGHT want to put a comma there after moments, so there is a little break in a long sentence.

He didn't tell me what his father said and he never spoke about adoption again.
I would just put a comma in there after said. As usual, this is due to having two independent clauses.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2024

Comment from Alexandra Trovato
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Excellecom if you want to erite there too.nt! I have so much to catch up on! Is this going on now or passed? Excellent recollecting and dialogue! I had my daughter 30 years ago in the middle of a violent marriage. I left when she was one. So, as always with your genuine work, it takes me a while to get through to reading it all. I took a mini break during the holidays but now I am back on usually daily during the week. My own email address is oops I'll send by message if you want to write there too. Have a good evening!

Alexandra :)



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 Comment Written 18-Jan-2024

Comment from Iza Deleanu
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Wow, a baby but will he or she have a loving family, especially since the father is not so thrilled. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.

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 Comment Written 18-Jan-2024