What We See
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "What We See - Chapter 3A"A wrongly accused teacher reinvents his life
23 total reviews
Comment from Carol Clark2
Realistic dialogue between David and Diane, also giving us a bit of backstory about their relationship. Good job on having David think aloud, so we understand his point of view of the situation. Suggestion: Tina is spreading lies about (me). Good chapter!
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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Realistic dialogue between David and Diane, also giving us a bit of backstory about their relationship. Good job on having David think aloud, so we understand his point of view of the situation. Suggestion: Tina is spreading lies about (me). Good chapter!
Comment Written 14-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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Thanks very much, Carol. Great suggestion. I made the change. Thanks.
Comment from Wendy G
Your writing is excellent, and honest. There is an authenticity about this situation, and I know this sort of thing happens. His feelings and reflections are well expressed, as are the dialogues. I'm with you for the continuation.
Wendy
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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Your writing is excellent, and honest. There is an authenticity about this situation, and I know this sort of thing happens. His feelings and reflections are well expressed, as are the dialogues. I'm with you for the continuation.
Wendy
Comment Written 14-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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Thanks so much, Wendy. I'm glad this one hooked you, and I'll try hard to keep it interesting.
Comment from BethShelby
This is good. I can see that happening. I was on a school board where a teacher was accused of something I'm sure he didn't do regarding a student. No one would believe him and the parents were out to get him fired which they managed to do.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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This is good. I can see that happening. I was on a school board where a teacher was accused of something I'm sure he didn't do regarding a student. No one would believe him and the parents were out to get him fired which they managed to do.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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That is so sad. I wonder what came of that poor fellow and if he was ever able to move on from that? Thanks for sharing that, Beth.
Comment from Kaiku
Not really sure how to review this chapter. I haven't read the first two so I'm not into the story. It did come across as something different from you, not sure why. Is there any real history behind this story or is it completely made up? Have I asked you in the past, how much time each day you spend on your writing? Plus you're a very active reviewer.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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Not really sure how to review this chapter. I haven't read the first two so I'm not into the story. It did come across as something different from you, not sure why. Is there any real history behind this story or is it completely made up? Have I asked you in the past, how much time each day you spend on your writing? Plus you're a very active reviewer.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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So, you can tell I spend a significant portion of my day with FanStory!
Since I'm not golfing anymore...
When I'm writing a novel, it varies a lot because I don't want to get behind in reviewing the work of the people I'm fans of, as well as reply to all my reviews. And I like to say a little more than Lance's "Thank you very much." I seem to wake up earlier and earlier in the morning to do the writing. My goal is to write a chapter each day but I don't always accomplish that. On a good writing day, I may end up writing 1,500 - 2,000 words which can take maybe 5 or 6 hours to do I would guess. I never really keep track of the time, so that's just an guess. So, I guess I don't really have a good answer for you.
This story is completely made up and not about anything I've ever experienced or anyone I know. I just try to think how I would feel and respond if it were to happen to me. This is my first non-golf novel. I just got the idea for it one day and decided to write it. I also had another good idea which I had written a prologue for, and I had to decide which one I would write first and chose this one. The other one is also a non-golf story.
If you don't feel like reading the first couple of chapters, I will always provide a recap of the previous chapter to give you a quick summary of what went on.
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Well, I don't know if I could ever spend that kind of time doing this. Good for you. Pretty creative guy.
Comment from Navada
Ooh, that smarts! "If you didn't do it?" Not the right thing to say at all! This story is working because it makes me feel uncomfortable. As a teacher, it's absolutely worst nightmare kind of stuff. Very interested to see what happens next. :)
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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Ooh, that smarts! "If you didn't do it?" Not the right thing to say at all! This story is working because it makes me feel uncomfortable. As a teacher, it's absolutely worst nightmare kind of stuff. Very interested to see what happens next. :)
Comment Written 14-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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She was not a very kind person and was thinking more about herself than him. I'm glad this got you intrigued, Navada. But the real thrust of the story will move well beyond this, and we'll meet some significant new characters in Chapter 6 when the story will go in a major new direction. Little spoiler: The truth will eventually come out.
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I hope so! It's clear to me that he's just a bit socially inept and therefore has become a target. Has Tina been put up to this by someone, I wonder? A bit of political collusion in the background? :)
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You've picked up on his awkwardness. Good. Your question about Tina is a good one. I'll say no more.
Comment from jmdg1954
So far he's met with the original, spoken to his buddy and now his ex.
Of course no one has an answer for him. All they can go is support him, if and it's a big if, they believe him.
There's no way the police do not get involved going forward.
Looking to Wednesday...
Cheers,
John
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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So far he's met with the original, spoken to his buddy and now his ex.
Of course no one has an answer for him. All they can go is support him, if and it's a big if, they believe him.
There's no way the police do not get involved going forward.
Looking to Wednesday...
Cheers,
John
Comment Written 14-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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Seems logical. David will suggest it. Let's see if that will happen. Thanks for reading, John.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this addition with us. Yes, David is in a real jam as any man is in our society when accusations are made. It would be great if there was an easy way to know who was telling the truth in situations like this. Many a men has had their reputations ruined this way.
followed him in there and sat down on my recliner to think. (the comma after 'there' is needed, either is the words 'down' it's understood)
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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Thank you for sharing this addition with us. Yes, David is in a real jam as any man is in our society when accusations are made. It would be great if there was an easy way to know who was telling the truth in situations like this. Many a men has had their reputations ruined this way.
followed him in there and sat down on my recliner to think. (the comma after 'there' is needed, either is the words 'down' it's understood)
Comment Written 14-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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We've heard in the news of many accusations like this that have proven to be false. The Duke lacrosse players come to mind. The anguish they went through with nearly the whole country against them was devastating, but the truth which cleared them eventually surfaced, and they've since made successes of themselves. There's hope.
Comment from royowen
It seems terribly obvious to me, that any male is vulnerable when accused of impropriety concerning a female, and particularly an attractive female, at least he got a half positive response from his ex girl friend, even if it was half responsive, beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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It seems terribly obvious to me, that any male is vulnerable when accused of impropriety concerning a female, and particularly an attractive female, at least he got a half positive response from his ex girl friend, even if it was half responsive, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 14-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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Absolutely right, Roy. Even his ex-girlfriend who should know him pretty well had a little doubt. How do you fight a thing like this? So devastating.
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You can?t one can only hope some won?t judge.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Jim, this is a great chapter. David's frustration show through every scene. What a nightmare. To be at up like that is an old classic. Scorned woman an all that. I can't wait to reading on. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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Hi Jim, this is a great chapter. David's frustration show through every scene. What a nightmare. To be at up like that is an old classic. Scorned woman an all that. I can't wait to reading on. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 14-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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Thanks so much, Ulla. In the next half of this chapter, we'll get a hint about where this story will be going.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Ok. You have drawn me in to follow along. If i were he I would flee directly to the police, and let them handle the investigation, IF Tina does not repent, but then ... why wait?
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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Ok. You have drawn me in to follow along. If i were he I would flee directly to the police, and let them handle the investigation, IF Tina does not repent, but then ... why wait?
Comment Written 14-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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Can't do that. If they were to solve it, we wouldn't have the rest of the story!
I'm happy that I snagged you, even though there won't be any golf in this one. :-(