Avian Patrol
Free verse poem on nene: Hawaiian/Kauai geese26 total reviews
Comment from Daylily
A very poetic entry with excellent imagery, such as in these lines:
They occasionally honk while listening to the newest symphony of rain,
surrounded by sound, slicing through wet skies above low, thick fog.
I enjoyed learning about this particular species of geese and seeing the photo of one that has been banded.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
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A very poetic entry with excellent imagery, such as in these lines:
They occasionally honk while listening to the newest symphony of rain,
surrounded by sound, slicing through wet skies above low, thick fog.
I enjoyed learning about this particular species of geese and seeing the photo of one that has been banded.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
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Thank you for your great review. I think the nenes get monitored pretty closely to avoid being endangered any further.
Comment from Janet Foor
Great picture to remember your trip to Kauai. I have never been there so this is a delightful trip in your vacation-based poem. I have seen my share of Canadian Geese, but this is a new one for me.
Thank you for sharing
blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
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Great picture to remember your trip to Kauai. I have never been there so this is a delightful trip in your vacation-based poem. I have seen my share of Canadian Geese, but this is a new one for me.
Thank you for sharing
blessings
Janet
Comment Written 18-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
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Thank you for your super review. I like writing about Canada geese, too!
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Ha, ha , ha you made me laugh reading these lines almost human like "hey occasionally honk while listening to the newest symphony of rain,
surrounded by sound, slicing through wet skies above low, thick fog.
In daylight, storm now receded, nenes prefer to browse, stroll, or pose
for tourist photos, perhaps knowing their neck stripes" Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the contest.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
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Ha, ha , ha you made me laugh reading these lines almost human like "hey occasionally honk while listening to the newest symphony of rain,
surrounded by sound, slicing through wet skies above low, thick fog.
In daylight, storm now receded, nenes prefer to browse, stroll, or pose
for tourist photos, perhaps knowing their neck stripes" Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the contest.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
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Thank you for your awesome and detailed review!
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
This is so interesting. I never knew about this beautiful and, apparently, conscientious, bird. My first reaction was that I want one. I am impulsive went it comes to pretty animals. lol Excellently written descriptions and so much information about this bird. I create artworks too and the colors and stance of this bird would make a beautiful painting. Thank you for sharing this and for your Author Note, too.
Best wishes,
Alex
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
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This is so interesting. I never knew about this beautiful and, apparently, conscientious, bird. My first reaction was that I want one. I am impulsive went it comes to pretty animals. lol Excellently written descriptions and so much information about this bird. I create artworks too and the colors and stance of this bird would make a beautiful painting. Thank you for sharing this and for your Author Note, too.
Best wishes,
Alex
Comment Written 18-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
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Thank you for your enthusiastic review. Yeah, we'll all have to live in Kauai to have a chance of seeing these birds in a backyard.
Comment from mrsmajor
What a wonderful descriptive poem Crystie, your word usage was quite colorful, and allowed the reader to almost be their with you...The picture was also well chosen...I enjoyed the piece very much, good luck in the contest...
Warmly,
Victoria
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
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What a wonderful descriptive poem Crystie, your word usage was quite colorful, and allowed the reader to almost be their with you...The picture was also well chosen...I enjoyed the piece very much, good luck in the contest...
Warmly,
Victoria
Comment Written 18-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
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Thank you for such a complimentary review, and the six stars, too! That just made my day.
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It was my pleasure, I really enjoyed
the words used in your poem, and
the 6 stars are well deserved.
All the best...
Victoria
Comment from Lea Tonin1
That's a gorgeous looking bird! I have yet to have the pleasure of going to Hawaii but I hope to one day! Such a rare bird too! The last line of your poem is my favorite it's a very well written one by a master word Smith so great job on this I hope you have a wonderful day and best of luck to you I see no issues with aesthetic subject matter sentence structure or grammar. I hope you have an amazing day!
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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That's a gorgeous looking bird! I have yet to have the pleasure of going to Hawaii but I hope to one day! Such a rare bird too! The last line of your poem is my favorite it's a very well written one by a master word Smith so great job on this I hope you have a wonderful day and best of luck to you I see no issues with aesthetic subject matter sentence structure or grammar. I hope you have an amazing day!
Comment Written 15-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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Thank you very much for your super nice review.
Comment from Frank Malley
This is the second poem in a row on FS today that has caused me to have to put my socks back on. My wife and I worked in Maui for a couple of weeks in '93. I can't say for sure that we saw nenes, but the word is familiar and I suspect that we did. Animals make their ways so industriously through the world, and grace it with their realities so wondrously. This exceptional poem has numerous wonderful lines, but "... pass from.../the very end of brilliance was particularly captivating. Our own adventures in Maui come back to me, from a giant centipede I killed to walking in a sugar cane army.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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This is the second poem in a row on FS today that has caused me to have to put my socks back on. My wife and I worked in Maui for a couple of weeks in '93. I can't say for sure that we saw nenes, but the word is familiar and I suspect that we did. Animals make their ways so industriously through the world, and grace it with their realities so wondrously. This exceptional poem has numerous wonderful lines, but "... pass from.../the very end of brilliance was particularly captivating. Our own adventures in Maui come back to me, from a giant centipede I killed to walking in a sugar cane army.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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Thank you for your excellent review. That just made my day. How neat that you have experiences from Maui with your wife.
Comment from RodG
You have introduced me to a type of geese I never heard of (thanks for the photo, too). You enable us to see them strutting proudly across the lush grass, stopping to enjoy the sunset. I especially like this image: while their black-capped heads are held up like darkened coins.
Rod
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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You have introduced me to a type of geese I never heard of (thanks for the photo, too). You enable us to see them strutting proudly across the lush grass, stopping to enjoy the sunset. I especially like this image: while their black-capped heads are held up like darkened coins.
Rod
Comment Written 14-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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Thank you for such a stand-out review.
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You are very welcome.
Comment from Bill Schott
This free verse, Avion Patrol, reminds those who have witnessed the flocks of birds which cover the area and seem to create a world of both order and freedom.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2024
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This free verse, Avion Patrol, reminds those who have witnessed the flocks of birds which cover the area and seem to create a world of both order and freedom.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2024
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Thank you for your great review!
Comment from patcelaw
You wrote this poem, very moving away, and I was able to just kind of see these geese as they waddled around the scenes. They're in Kauai. I have visited Hawaii one time and it's a lovely island and I enjoyed it very much. Have a great day and God bless. Patricia.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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You wrote this poem, very moving away, and I was able to just kind of see these geese as they waddled around the scenes. They're in Kauai. I have visited Hawaii one time and it's a lovely island and I enjoyed it very much. Have a great day and God bless. Patricia.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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Thank you for such a personalized review.
