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Return To Concorde Valley

Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Concorde Valley"
Fantasy based on the intersection of two worlds.

22 total reviews 
Comment from Daylily
Excellent
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A wonderful continuation of the story. Concorde Valley is like a dream world...set apart from this regular world that is not being cared for in the best ways that it should. I look forward to your postings very much. Beautiful horse in the painting, too.

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 09-Jan-2024
    Hi Lily!! Thank you for your review and comments. The world will get more beautiful as Echo observes it, especially the gardens, but snakes will show up...

    I'm glad you've been keeping up. That is so special.
    Hugs,
    Rhonda
Comment from Mike Stevens
Excellent
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Another fine chapter, Rhonda....you could be describing the town where I grew up, except in place of Specters we had bullies. And I can relate to Echo being nervous to meet Theo's family. Nothing as traumatic!

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 09-Jan-2024
    Hi Mike, thank you for the review, my friend! Specters do come in many forms, don't they?

    I always get nervous meeting people, and poor Echo feels at a huge disadvantage.

    Take care,
    Rhonda
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Excellent
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Thia is a nice chapter. A lot of telling, but you did it well.
"Don't be, remember what I said, my family is friendly." - I don't know for sure, but my gut tells me that a comma is insufficient. (period, semicolon, dash???)
Best wishes.

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 09-Jan-2024
    Thank you so much Wayne. I agree, it was a bit of an information dump, and I thought about that. I should have integrated the information in in other chapters, and will probably do that before publishing.
    Thank you so much,
    Rhonda
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I love this story. It's such a tender love story surrounded by mystery. It's great.

At first because it was because of my mission I told you about," (a little awkward, try -- At first because it was the mission I told you about,")

Theo looked looked away. (only need one 'looked')

They have the most magnificent garden you can imagine out behind it." (you can omit 'out' it's not needed)

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 09-Jan-2024
    Hi Barbara,
    Thank you so much for the six stars!! They light up my night sky!!

    Thank you for the suggestions as well. I did correct the one about the mission at one point, but I guess I forgot to save it...

    The others I definitely missed. Thank you ever so much,

    Hugs,
    Rhonda
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Rhonda, I absolutely loved this chapter. Not only Echo learned a lot, but we also learn so much more about her new extended family. Her words, not mine. And you obviously left us on a cliff hanger. You do describe this new enchanted world in a wonderful way. I can't wait to reading on. Ulla xcx

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
    Ulla, thank you for the 6 stars, and for the wonderful review!!

    I'm glad the storyline is moving along and that the descriptive language works out.

    Everything aside, she's about to embark on the rest of her journey.

    Hugs,
    Rhonda
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
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This is beautifully and mesmerisingly expressed, Rhonda! As they ride and converse through the forest and the suspense increases, it marks a skilful and completed transition into Theo's mystical world of family and community. The meeting with his parents will now be the icing on the cake. Well done and thanks so much for sharing your magical story. Take care Debbie

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
    Hi Debbie, thank you for such a sweet and thorough review, my friend!!
    You were very descriptive in what works and how it works for the reader.

    Yes, family will now reveal themselves!!

    Thanks again,
    hugs,
    Rhonda
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I can't wait to meet this remarkable family, either, Rhonda, they sound amazing. I just know Echo will fit in nicely. Now, will she fall in love in Theo's parent's garden? I think they already are. I loved the imagery you added to this chapter, it a way, there are places on Earth that we have never been to, perhaps there is a place like this hidden from us. It would be nice if there was. We could learn from your Concorde Valley. I really enjoyed this chapter, my friend. Very well done! Love and hugs, Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
    Hi Sandra!! Thanks for the 6 star rating, and for the commentary. Both are equally appreciated!
    Echo will fit in, but they may haze her a bit. They are a lively bunch.
    Yes, I would like to find a place like Concorde to hide out in as well. Unfortunately for this place, snakes appear.

    Much love,
    Rhonda
Comment from Navada
Excellent
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I like the positive reflection of family that comes through clearly in this episode and in the series. I hope that Echo will continue to find the healing and support she will need to thrive.

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
    Hi Navada, yes, family will play a really big role in this book. I'm glad you picked up on that theme. Coming from little family background, Echo is going to have to learn what it's like to have siblings

    Thanks so much,
    Rhonda
Comment from Sabrina H.
Excellent
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So, Echo gets to meet the family, nice. This was an amazing chapter. I can't wait to read more of Theo and Echos story. I only caught a few chapters of your story so I'm curious about Theo's family and what they are like. I'm not sure if they were in earlier chapters I missed.
Keep writing:)

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 Comment Written 08-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
    This is the first one where his family plays a major part. A few are mentioned earlier, but not the bigger amounts of them.
    Thank you for joining in,
    Rhonda
Comment from lyenochka
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a sweet chapter where Echo is calmer and can reflect on the past when she had those encounters with Theo even when he was not supposed to visit her. It's clear that they really do love each other and Echo has found a new home and a family at last.
I liked your description of the place. I attempted that in my sci-fi book for kids only the trees were sentient so logging allowed. Lol.

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
    Hi Helen,
    Thank you for the six star review. That is so generous!
    I love trees, and I love making them a part of stories. I teeter on the edge of making them sentient, and love the idea of it.
    I'm glad you picked up on the calmness Echo gets, especially after what all she's been through, and all that is ahead as well.
    She does have a home and a family, and she's going to need them as the story progresses!

    Hugs,
    Rhonda