Comment from Pam Lonsdale

Excellent

Silence lingered before, Emma said, "I've . . ." (take comma out after before)

Ace is such a nice dog and an asset to this story.

Gretchen, her mom said, "Lizzy . . ." I'd make it Gretchen, her mom, said or Her mom, Gretchen, said

Seth must lover her an awful lot to always have to assure her that his actions are based on her needs and not his own. Perhaps working in the schools will cause her to grow up a little - and situations such as the one she just refereed.

Hope your Christmas was wonderful:-)

xo
Pam

 Comment Written 26-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2023

Yes, Emma has some growing to do. She is slowly growing. I have made the changes and appreciate the help.

Comment from Jacob1395

Excellent

There is a lot of emotion in this chapter which I thought you brought to life really well. I could feel it as Elizabeth announced she was pregnant and when she worried what was going to happen to her baby. Another excellent chapter in your book, Barbara. I can't wait to read the next instalment. I hope you had a great Christmas.

 Comment Written 26-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2023

Thank you for the encouragement.

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

Wow! That was an emotional chapter. Emma showed two sides, her own personal immaturity which she's working on and a very mature, tell it like it is social worker facing a pregnant teens challenge.

Let's hope Calvin gets on board. His support is imperative. I speak from experience...

One suggestion -
"I know. Why (go alone) when you're dating the police chief?"

I hope your Christmas was everything you wanted!
John

 Comment Written 26-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2023

Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate the help.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

This is a variable I haven't seen before in your writing, it's a od twist, and helps Emma to grow up a little, giving vent to what is likely to develop her maturity and give point to her existence, this is beautifully written,, blessings Roy .

 Comment Written 26-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2023

Thank you for the support and encouragement.

reply by royowen on 26-Dec-2023

Welcome

Comment from Ben Colder

Exceptional

Oh Lord. Teenage Pg. Nothing new but a sad thing for the girl and what she is about to experience. One night of fun and a lifetime to pay for it. So they think. Good one Barb.

 Comment Written 25-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2023

Thank you for the kind review.

reply by Ben Colder on 26-Dec-2023

I hope you had a great Christmas. I pray God will grant you a wonderful 2024 for the entire family.

reply by the author on 26-Dec-2023

Thank you. You are always in my prayers. You mean a lot to me. Please have a blessed 2024

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

Well, I gotta be honest. This chapter went according to formula. It was structurally well written, and all the characters behaved as expected from beginning to end (males especially). Are you sure this chapter is advancing the story narrative?

I'm sure this chapter will be a FanStory hit. Have a great Christmas.

 Comment Written 25-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2023

It is a FanStory hit, and yes it does move the story along. You will see that in a few weeks. It also is growing Emma up, some. She still has a ways to go. It character development. Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from T B Botts

Excellent

Hello Barbara,
Well, this was an unexpected turn of events. I'm not sure what to make of Emma. She seems emotionally immature, and yet is offering advice to a girl who is pregnant. I experienced the, I'm pregnant talk, and I'm quite certain that I wouldn't want to hear the opinion of someone outside of the family at that moment. It's a devastating issue to deal with, very emotional.
Nonetheless, it's well written. Thanks for sharing this.
Have a blessed Christmas day.
Tom

 Comment Written 25-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2023

Thank you for the kind review. The parents just listened. Not ready to comment, pretty much in shock.

Comment from Ulla

Exceptional

This was a great chapter, Barbara, touching on some very important issues. I really liked the way you handled this. Now, I will be looking forward to what's next. Merry Christmas. Ulla xxx

 Comment Written 25-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2023

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from Sankey

Exceptional

Thanks for a deep, emotional chapter. You got into some great detail with Emma's counselling knowledge. I did wonder if it was Seth's or Emma's think about the counselling experience... that was how it might have looked but I think more Emma.

 Comment Written 25-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2023

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from Lea Tonin1

Excellent

Oh my such a subject to teenage pregnancy. And the very familiar story too for the reasons that have dead beat dads. Well this chapter touched me since that human Decency is shown in this chapter as well as some of the worst things a human can do. Very well written perfection Is engrammar and an engaging story! I wish you a wonderful christmas a happy new year and all the best!

 Comment Written 25-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2023

Thank you for the support and encouragement.