haiku (cold city moon shines)
haiku17 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This haiku, Full City Moon Shines, has the proper formatting and finds a connection between the mysteries of the universe and the fully known experience of taking out the trash. Neat.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
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This haiku, Full City Moon Shines, has the proper formatting and finds a connection between the mysteries of the universe and the fully known experience of taking out the trash. Neat.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
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Thank you for the "neat" review. I literally wrote after taking out my garbage.
Comment from Wendyanne
I enjoyed the meaning behind this well written piece of haiku style poetry. It doesn't matter where we are whether it's an over-populated city or a beautiful seascape/landscape the beauty of the moon still shines for everyone, rich or poor. Good luck.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023
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I enjoyed the meaning behind this well written piece of haiku style poetry. It doesn't matter where we are whether it's an over-populated city or a beautiful seascape/landscape the beauty of the moon still shines for everyone, rich or poor. Good luck.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023
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Thank you for the lovely review
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice artwork and presentation, Val.
-Good to see you.
-You wrote a good haiku with a good topic.
-Effective nature and seasonal imagery.
-You create a vivid word picture of the scene.
-A very good satori line.
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023
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-Nice artwork and presentation, Val.
-Good to see you.
-You wrote a good haiku with a good topic.
-Effective nature and seasonal imagery.
-You create a vivid word picture of the scene.
-A very good satori line.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023
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So nice to hear from you, I have been taking a long break from Fanstory. Last night this one just popped into my brain, after I took the garbage out. Thank you for the very clear and informative review. It is much appreciated. Hope all is well. Happy Thanksgiving
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You are very welcome and thanks for sharing about how the haiku came about. It was originally based on observation so that was good for your haiku! Things are pretty good, and you have a Happy Thanksgiving, too.
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Exactly, Pam, haiku is a snapshot of a moment. Some of the haiku I read on this site makes me cringe
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I agree with you on both counts, Val.
Comment from Jacob1395
This is a really well written haiku, and I love the imagery that even when you're doing the most mundane job, like taking out the bins, you can still find beauty. A well written piece. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023
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This is a really well written haiku, and I love the imagery that even when you're doing the most mundane job, like taking out the bins, you can still find beauty. A well written piece. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023
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Thank you for this lovely review. I actually was taking out the garbage, when it came to me.
Comment from Janis M.
I agree with your author notes. There is much that many people don't know about Haiku. I like the different style of this one. In a roundabout way this still is very much about nature, though not in the traditional sense. Most of what experience in nature has been replaced by the urban living environment.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023
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I agree with your author notes. There is much that many people don't know about Haiku. I like the different style of this one. In a roundabout way this still is very much about nature, though not in the traditional sense. Most of what experience in nature has been replaced by the urban living environment.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023
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This is an extremely well written review, which has become a rarity on this site anymore. Thank for "getting" my intentions for writing it. Yes, there is so much more to haiku than meets the eye.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
The sun shines on cities as well as rural areas and we are all blessed with the same ambiance, I enjoyed the contrast of nature's sunset and the garbage left by humans, a fine post for the contest and I wish you luck, love Dolly x x x
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reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023
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The sun shines on cities as well as rural areas and we are all blessed with the same ambiance, I enjoyed the contrast of nature's sunset and the garbage left by humans, a fine post for the contest and I wish you luck, love Dolly x x x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023
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Thanks, Dolly, it means a lot coming from you. I try to make my haiku real. Haven't been on this site for awhile.
Comment from Alison Greenwood
Great poem. Love the picture as well, I love these style of poems, as they are punchy and short yet leave you with images that you can relate to. I love how you have put something so routine as putting out the garbage into a ritual that can actually be quite mystical. Well done.
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reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023
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Great poem. Love the picture as well, I love these style of poems, as they are punchy and short yet leave you with images that you can relate to. I love how you have put something so routine as putting out the garbage into a ritual that can actually be quite mystical. Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023
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Thank you. I was hoping to convey the same common picture of city life you mentioned
