Silent No More
A Muted Duck ...18 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
A cute story. Well it doesn't pay to be different it seems. You wrote it with originality and clarity. Sending best wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2023
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A cute story. Well it doesn't pay to be different it seems. You wrote it with originality and clarity. Sending best wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 08-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2023
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I hope you never tire of hearing thank you, but if you do what can I help you with?
P.S. - Thanks.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
So, you use the prompt of a duck with hiccups to write about Charlie Chaplin and his muted voice until the day when after drinking too much alcohol he spoke ad naseuam about whatever was on his mind. Soon, a gaggle of geese got rid of old Charlie and the end of his career began to unravel.
Quite a story with a prompt such as this.
Jesse
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2023
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So, you use the prompt of a duck with hiccups to write about Charlie Chaplin and his muted voice until the day when after drinking too much alcohol he spoke ad naseuam about whatever was on his mind. Soon, a gaggle of geese got rid of old Charlie and the end of his career began to unravel.
Quite a story with a prompt such as this.
Jesse
Comment Written 07-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2023
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Does this mean you liked or disliked what was writ?
I appreciate your dropping by. It's been a while since you made me smile only because I haven't seen you about.
Be well
East Coast Tom - idk. One of my followers monikered me as so.
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Read into it what you will. This is a blind contest, so I don't know who you are. Let's keep it that way.
Jesse
Comment from L. Kalere
This appears to be a case of thinking off the cuff...madcap, but clearly not random. But Grey Goose Vodka in the lake? Such a waste, but a good way to introduce hiccups into the story. The finale is hilarious...Charlie and Oona heading back to France via Canadian Air. Wicked sense of humor and irreverent. Love it. I really hope it does well in the contest.
Linda
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2023
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This appears to be a case of thinking off the cuff...madcap, but clearly not random. But Grey Goose Vodka in the lake? Such a waste, but a good way to introduce hiccups into the story. The finale is hilarious...Charlie and Oona heading back to France via Canadian Air. Wicked sense of humor and irreverent. Love it. I really hope it does well in the contest.
Linda
Comment Written 07-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2023
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Thanks for dropping by and commenting. You are new to me, and I appreciate your time. Unlike a fine bottle of wine, I am more like a jug of hooch from Appalachia. Sincerely, Tom H.
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, okay. I think you do a good job with the structure of your story. The editing is fine. What I would advise looking into are: Telling vs. showing. This is the narrator telling the reader everything. Also, plot or purpose. Yes there is a beginning, a middle and an ending, but the reader should feel or know the purpose of the tale. It doesn't have to have a significant moral, the plot, even in a short flash fiction should be evident.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2023
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Hmm, okay. I think you do a good job with the structure of your story. The editing is fine. What I would advise looking into are: Telling vs. showing. This is the narrator telling the reader everything. Also, plot or purpose. Yes there is a beginning, a middle and an ending, but the reader should feel or know the purpose of the tale. It doesn't have to have a significant moral, the plot, even in a short flash fiction should be evident.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2023
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Thanks
I went where the stream of thought took me knowing 140 words doesn?t allow much to offer
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
This is well written, and a good story for the challenge. There is a lot of colorful imagery along with expressive words to carry your story.
Best wishes,
Alex
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2023
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This is well written, and a good story for the challenge. There is a lot of colorful imagery along with expressive words to carry your story.
Best wishes,
Alex
Comment Written 06-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2023
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Really?
I did not notice the assets mentioned
I won? t disagree and appreciate the compliment
Comment from Douglas Goff
Okay, this is so very cute. Everybody needs a little vodka in their lake every once in a while. Okay maybe not.
I saw no errors. Funny contest.
D
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2023
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Okay, this is so very cute. Everybody needs a little vodka in their lake every once in a while. Okay maybe not.
I saw no errors. Funny contest.
D
Comment Written 06-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2023
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For two dollar entry
Why not I asked myself
Thanks
Comment from jim vecchio
A good entry for this contest, good enough to make it to the top. Also, you are a great photographer/artist. After drinking all that vodka, did the goose get a bill? Oh, yeah, he already had one!
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2023
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A good entry for this contest, good enough to make it to the top. Also, you are a great photographer/artist. After drinking all that vodka, did the goose get a bill? Oh, yeah, he already had one!
Comment Written 06-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2023
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Funny
Very funny
No payment required
The distributor wasn?t licensed
Thanks
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Best wishes for the contest!
Comment from Thesis
That was a very creative response to the contest. It started out with the reader feeling sorry for Charlie because he was mute and turned into a quick fix for his problem and a trip to France. It was an enjoyable read.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2023
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That was a very creative response to the contest. It started out with the reader feeling sorry for Charlie because he was mute and turned into a quick fix for his problem and a trip to France. It was an enjoyable read.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2023
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I try
Thanks for the comment
