Saving Mr. Calvin
Viewing comments for Chapter 56 "Saving Mr. Calvin - Chapter 48"Golf's legacy and future
11 total reviews
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Sounds like a go.
Well written.
That was fine, although I was a little disappointed by the fact that she didn't golf, for I wasn't sure she could generate the same enthusiasm - This is just my peeve, but what do you think about 'for'? I know you wrote it, but maybe you didn't give it a lot of thought (as we all do in one form, or another). example: I poured a glass of water, for I was thirsty.
"... Can you tell me briefly about the simulator you hope to build and what makes it different from the simulators currently available?" - This line didn't ring quite true. Would she say 'me', or 'us'. But more, wouldn't she let them do their presentation?
Best to ya.
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reply by the author on 01-Nov-2023
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Sounds like a go.
Well written.
That was fine, although I was a little disappointed by the fact that she didn't golf, for I wasn't sure she could generate the same enthusiasm - This is just my peeve, but what do you think about 'for'? I know you wrote it, but maybe you didn't give it a lot of thought (as we all do in one form, or another). example: I poured a glass of water, for I was thirsty.
"... Can you tell me briefly about the simulator you hope to build and what makes it different from the simulators currently available?" - This line didn't ring quite true. Would she say 'me', or 'us'. But more, wouldn't she let them do their presentation?
Best to ya.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2023
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You make a good point. I guess it's rather obvious why he's disappointed she doesn't golf. You're right; I didn't give it a lot of thought. This is an old habit of mine because in my career as a systems analyst, I had to spell everything out in detailed fashion for the programmers who would be writing the programs from my specs. I couldn't leave anything to chance or possible misinterpretation. Thanks for pointing that out.