A Particular Friendship
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "The Lamp in the Storm"We meet Lizzy who has just come out of the convent
15 total reviews
Comment from Navada
This is a riveting story, Liz. I rode the peaks and troughs of the tension and the final line is devastating. Throughout the chapter, the reader is barracking hard for you all to be okay and for the house not to slide into the brook, only to be taken out by a tree. How painful for you all.
A few things really struck me while reading - the precariousness of the situation for everyone, the innocence of childhood, the strength of your mother, the closeness with your neighbours, and the painful references to selfish men who don't understand the impact of their actions.
To improve further, there are a few little SPAG issues for you to resolve in places - e.g. "shaky" instead of "shakey". This doesn't detract from the emotional impact of the story, though. I have never experienced the imminent danger of a natural disaster like this and your story brought it home to me powerfully.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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This is a riveting story, Liz. I rode the peaks and troughs of the tension and the final line is devastating. Throughout the chapter, the reader is barracking hard for you all to be okay and for the house not to slide into the brook, only to be taken out by a tree. How painful for you all.
A few things really struck me while reading - the precariousness of the situation for everyone, the innocence of childhood, the strength of your mother, the closeness with your neighbours, and the painful references to selfish men who don't understand the impact of their actions.
To improve further, there are a few little SPAG issues for you to resolve in places - e.g. "shaky" instead of "shakey". This doesn't detract from the emotional impact of the story, though. I have never experienced the imminent danger of a natural disaster like this and your story brought it home to me powerfully.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Thank you for your intensely involved review. This incident is why Bea the wee bear (who is me in my autobiographical allegory) told of a branch crashing through the roof of her cave home.
Comment from aryr
Wow! To have to live through a hurricane was awful enough, Liz. I am so glad you are now writing in first person. This was horrible for your mother, you, being three and Nickey at two. Then you (all three of you) had to buddy up with Lawrence, Timmy and Trudy. A terrible time for all of you. Very well done and greatly yet sadly enjoyed. Blessings n Hugs!!!
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Wow! To have to live through a hurricane was awful enough, Liz. I am so glad you are now writing in first person. This was horrible for your mother, you, being three and Nickey at two. Then you (all three of you) had to buddy up with Lawrence, Timmy and Trudy. A terrible time for all of you. Very well done and greatly yet sadly enjoyed. Blessings n Hugs!!!
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Thank you for your involved review. This is why Bea the Wee Bear (who is me) told of a branch falling through roof of her cave. lol
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You are so very welcome, Liz. Bea the Wee Bear had the branch falling through the roof. (I knew it was you, lol)
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lol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This had to be terrifying. I can't imagine the emotions of this situation. You did a good job describing them and the scene.
Nike and I stood (Nickey)
until I was able to sit down on the safe stability of the sled. (can omit 'down')
She picked Nike up in her loving, (Nickey)
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reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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This had to be terrifying. I can't imagine the emotions of this situation. You did a good job describing them and the scene.
Nike and I stood (Nickey)
until I was able to sit down on the safe stability of the sled. (can omit 'down')
She picked Nike up in her loving, (Nickey)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Thank you for your involved review. This is why Bea the Wee Bear (who is me) told of a branch falling through roof of her cave. lol
Comment from strandregs
Great story telling and chilling story
Do you really remember details of what happened when you were 3?
I remember digging a trench in the garden in 1967 when I was 11. It not other details.
Anyway you filled it in superbly. :-))Z.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Great story telling and chilling story
Do you really remember details of what happened when you were 3?
I remember digging a trench in the garden in 1967 when I was 11. It not other details.
Anyway you filled it in superbly. :-))Z.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Thank you for your involved review. This is why Bea the Wee Bear (who is me) told of a branch falling through roof of her cave. lol I guess something that traumatic which gave me massive PTSD is why I remember it. Even my brother who was 2 remembers it and I've chacked with my friend Timmy who also remembers.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I can't begin to imagine the horror and fear of being in a hurricane. We don't have anything like that in the UK, thank goodness. I think you wrote this really well, Liz, and it has given me a chance to know you as a child. I'll start following your journey through life. :)) Sandra xxx
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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I can't begin to imagine the horror and fear of being in a hurricane. We don't have anything like that in the UK, thank goodness. I think you wrote this really well, Liz, and it has given me a chance to know you as a child. I'll start following your journey through life. :)) Sandra xxx
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Thank you for your involved review. This is why Bea the Wee Bear (who is me in my autobiographical allegorical series Be Wee With Bea) told of a branch falling through roof of her cave. lol