Emotional Trigger
A personal revelation47 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
They are supposed to listen to you tell your stories, and nod nicely. They are not supposed to burden you with any bad feelings. They are supposed to leave you smiling. They get paid. You don't. And you forget the #1 rule of listening to women. We don't want your conclusions, we don't want your advice. We want you to listen, nod, and say Oh! you poor thing, etc.
That is all.hahaha Karen
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2023
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They are supposed to listen to you tell your stories, and nod nicely. They are not supposed to burden you with any bad feelings. They are supposed to leave you smiling. They get paid. You don't. And you forget the #1 rule of listening to women. We don't want your conclusions, we don't want your advice. We want you to listen, nod, and say Oh! you poor thing, etc.
That is all.hahaha Karen
Comment Written 24-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2023
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It doesn't matter what their gender is, they get paid to care for me and not to unload their problems.
Thanks for your advice.
When you write Hahaha, does this mean you don't mean it?
Enjoy the rest of your week.
Jesse
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Hahaha means many things, in this instance it meant I was climbing off my soapbox . I dislike intensely people who abuse their care giving position in any way. I had a care giver once who came in briefly nodded to me and was on the phone during the whole time she was there.Karen
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That is so wrong in so many ways.
Caregivers are there to care for you, not to be on their mobile phones.
Jesse
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I wonder how many people are as perceptive as you and realize they must share other's miseries as part of being cared for. One thing I know is people don't really want to know how to deal with their troubles from another person. Listening is all you need to do.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2023
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I wonder how many people are as perceptive as you and realize they must share other's miseries as part of being cared for. One thing I know is people don't really want to know how to deal with their troubles from another person. Listening is all you need to do.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2023
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Listening is all I need to do for a friend or a family member, but not a caregiver.
Thanks for the positive feedback.
Have a pleasant evening.
Jesse
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
This is excellent writing. I can relate to you. I'm disabled but not in your situation. I have MS and am in my fifties living with my husband. But, I do take in people's stories and pain as an empathy and it could truly take a toll on my health. You are good to listen to them but it's a shame on them to go care for someone and bring their negative stories. I understand two people can get into talking you're only human, but think of your health first. They are there to care for you and lighten your day not bring it down. I enjoy how you write and when you focus on that you can keep positive and most importantly, healthy.
Best wishes,
Alexandra
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2023
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This is excellent writing. I can relate to you. I'm disabled but not in your situation. I have MS and am in my fifties living with my husband. But, I do take in people's stories and pain as an empathy and it could truly take a toll on my health. You are good to listen to them but it's a shame on them to go care for someone and bring their negative stories. I understand two people can get into talking you're only human, but think of your health first. They are there to care for you and lighten your day not bring it down. I enjoy how you write and when you focus on that you can keep positive and most importantly, healthy.
Best wishes,
Alexandra
Comment Written 24-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2023
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Thanks for your insights and positive feedback. You seem like you would make a good friend. Active listening is appropriate for some relationships but for others.
Staying healthy is what I plan to do.
Enjoy the evening.
Jesse
Comment from Douglas Goff
That is a powerful great ending. It is a good thing that you discovers this
As you can now handle it appropriately.
I have to assume we all have these hidden triggers. Good write-up.
D
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2023
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That is a powerful great ending. It is a good thing that you discovers this
As you can now handle it appropriately.
I have to assume we all have these hidden triggers. Good write-up.
D
Comment Written 24-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2023
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Thanks, D, for your positive reinforcement.
I can work on being a better person since I realized my emotional trigger.
Whether everybody has them is anyone's guess.
Have a good evening.
Jesse
Comment from Janet Foor
Boundaries are important in any relationship. You have set reasonable goals and I pray that it all works out for you. It is so easy to revert back into old patterns of behavior.
Good luck Jesse
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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Boundaries are important in any relationship. You have set reasonable goals and I pray that it all works out for you. It is so easy to revert back into old patterns of behavior.
Good luck Jesse
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 24-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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You are so right, Janet. In any relationship boundaries are important. I used to call it, "listening to your old tapes." "Old tapes" was a metaphor for old patterns of
behavior. Setting and resetting boundaries is very important!
I am never too old to learn.
Thanks for your luck and blessings.
Jesse
Comment from Bill Schott
This article, Emotional Trigger, is important to be aware of, as you say, because it brings into view the curse of familiarity breeding contempt. The line between expectations and results moves too close to unacceptable after a while.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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This article, Emotional Trigger, is important to be aware of, as you say, because it brings into view the curse of familiarity breeding contempt. The line between expectations and results moves too close to unacceptable after a while.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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Good point. The curse of familiarity breeds contempt. Thanks for your insightful comments. Becoming aware is the first step towards working on it as an issue.
I will work on it until I have it mastered.
Enjoy the rest of the week.
Jesse
Comment from Judith B.
People seem to think that setting boundaries is selfish. That is not true---it's a way of taking care of ourselves and not just the needs of others. Getting a balance between caring for others and caring for self has always been a struggle for me as well. I was brought up with the idea that the only "good" was taking care of others. That is so wrong. Each of us deserves care---from self and others. Good luck on your journey and having seen the trigger, I hope it will be easier for you. Very interesting writing and observations.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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People seem to think that setting boundaries is selfish. That is not true---it's a way of taking care of ourselves and not just the needs of others. Getting a balance between caring for others and caring for self has always been a struggle for me as well. I was brought up with the idea that the only "good" was taking care of others. That is so wrong. Each of us deserves care---from self and others. Good luck on your journey and having seen the trigger, I hope it will be easier for you. Very interesting writing and observations.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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Awareness of a problem is the first step towards finding a solution. Now that I am aware I will be able to set the boundaries necessary to alleviate the problem.
It should become easier for me as time moves on. Thanks for your observations and for your positive feedback.
Have a wonderful day.
Jesse
Comment from Jacob1395
It does seem wrong for carers to unload all of their problems on the people they are supposed to be caring for, although perhaps, sometimes, the people they care for are the only ones who they can talk to. This was an engaging piece and I could feel what you were going through in this instance. A well written piece.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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It does seem wrong for carers to unload all of their problems on the people they are supposed to be caring for, although perhaps, sometimes, the people they care for are the only ones who they can talk to. This was an engaging piece and I could feel what you were going through in this instance. A well written piece.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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Thank you, Jacob, for your positive feedback. I feel your caring and thoughtful comments, and I am sad and yet happy this resonated with you.
Enjoy the rest of the week.
Jesse
Comment from Ellen C M Threatts
Truthful and Worrisome.It's a serious combination. A battle between good and evil. And that is what I get from this piece. Your writing seems to sway between those boundaries of good and bad ,and this another fine example. It is always good, no it's to set boundaries especially when you know for sure you're being taken advantage of, but I worry that as humans we're selfish at times -wanting to be Heard , but not wanting to really Listen.
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reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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Truthful and Worrisome.It's a serious combination. A battle between good and evil. And that is what I get from this piece. Your writing seems to sway between those boundaries of good and bad ,and this another fine example. It is always good, no it's to set boundaries especially when you know for sure you're being taken advantage of, but I worry that as humans we're selfish at times -wanting to be Heard , but not wanting to really Listen.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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Thanks for stopping by and reading this post.
Jesse
Comment from pome lover
well, I think you are very nice to feel the way you do. In the first place, care givers should be positive - that should be a given. The very idea that someone who is supposed to take care of you, comes in and dumps negative thoughts on you is inexcusable. Are these people from an agency or people who just decided they'd be caregivers?
Sorry. I know it's none of my business, but your story made me angry. I'm going to say one more thing, then shut up.
Can you not request a pleasant care giver? After all, you are paying for someone to HELP you, not depress you.
I'm through. Just a suggestion.
Katharine
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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well, I think you are very nice to feel the way you do. In the first place, care givers should be positive - that should be a given. The very idea that someone who is supposed to take care of you, comes in and dumps negative thoughts on you is inexcusable. Are these people from an agency or people who just decided they'd be caregivers?
Sorry. I know it's none of my business, but your story made me angry. I'm going to say one more thing, then shut up.
Can you not request a pleasant care giver? After all, you are paying for someone to HELP you, not depress you.
I'm through. Just a suggestion.
Katharine
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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We've worked it out since I wrote this, so, there is no need to search for another caregiver. Thanks for sounding off on this subject. I know you meant well.
Jesse