Ghost
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "The Trick"Biography/Supernatural
12 total reviews
Comment from Lisasview
Hi there,
My only comment about this part of your story is that so many sentences begin with I.
Perhaps you could just say Slipping from the trees.. and walking instead of I walked because it is obvious from your past sentence that it is you.
These are just two examples...
Your story does move along quite well...
Lisa
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reply by the author on 19-Oct-2023
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Hi there,
My only comment about this part of your story is that so many sentences begin with I.
Perhaps you could just say Slipping from the trees.. and walking instead of I walked because it is obvious from your past sentence that it is you.
These are just two examples...
Your story does move along quite well...
Lisa
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2023
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Thank you, Lisa Ho, totally take a look at that. Yeah, you might probably already know that in the beginning of each chapter is today's present tense as well, the end of every chapter is today a present tense in the body of the chapter it so I tried to keep it that way. I will figure out all the eyes and try to change that as well. Thank you Lisa. I very much appreciate you're kind of comment You rock!
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You are so welcome. I like to be honest.
I edit so many writers works and I understand the whole present tense... My suggestions do not change that... Just removing all the I'd
Lisa
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Okay sounds good thank you again!
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You are most welcome.
My edits are just food for thought...
Lisa
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Its all good by me!
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I find that when I write I always need to go back and check everything out again and again.
I am just about to post a poem for the Love poetry Contest which the Committee will be voting on next week. It is called Ruby-Red Blush.
Lisa
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Cool... I'll check it out!
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Great I just now posted it...
Lisa
Comment from damommy
When they finally read the note, they knew they'd been had. I wouldn't bank on them giving up rousting homeless people, though. I wonder if they ever came back.
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reply by the author on 19-Oct-2023
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When they finally read the note, they knew they'd been had. I wouldn't bank on them giving up rousting homeless people, though. I wonder if they ever came back.
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Comment Written 19-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2023
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I did see her a couple of those times The one time she saw me she just looked at me and kept walking. For her the two things weren't connected. Haven't seen her since. Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate your comment and your thoughts. Anything you have to say of course would be worth looking at because you are a great writer so I thank you for reading and stopping in and offering your compassion. I hope you have a wonderful day!
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Thank you for the lovely compliment. I'm hooked on your stories. I can't imagine going through all that at such a young age and striking out on your own. You are so strong and always have been, apparently.
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So very kind of you to say I thank you very much! if you wish you are welcome to look in my portfolio, you'll see a book they're called "Ghost". It's auto bio, this chapter is part of. I would say that the first 6 chapters are brutal or have brutal parts in them. So I always caution everyone before they read it. Thanks again!