Return To Concorde Valley
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Echo's Diversion"Fantasy based on the intersection of two worlds.
20 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a good chapter as she begins to see the forces against and for her. To have Theo back is a great relief as Echo needs someone she can trust completely.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2023
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This is a good chapter as she begins to see the forces against and for her. To have Theo back is a great relief as Echo needs someone she can trust completely.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2023
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HI Carol,
Thanks for the wonderful review. Yes, the forces are starting to line up for and against them both. More will be revealed in his homeland.
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from w.j.debi
I am excited that Echo and Theo are reunited. We also get a glimpse into the magical world that Theo is from. The door is only open a crack but we have met minions of the Dark Lord and see there is trouble ahead as well as an exciting new world.
Well done.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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I am excited that Echo and Theo are reunited. We also get a glimpse into the magical world that Theo is from. The door is only open a crack but we have met minions of the Dark Lord and see there is trouble ahead as well as an exciting new world.
Well done.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Thank you so much for the brilliant 6 stars!! The door is opening slowly to the two worlds, somewhat to build up suspense, and somewhat to continue to see the two characters in our world first. I need another title for him than Dark Lord as that one's been used before, but we will soon discover his real name.
Thanks so much, again, I really value your opinion as a fellow fantasy writer.
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from prettybluebirds
Wow, this is your best chapter yet. It is fantasy and realism joined together in one story. I have been thoroughly enjoying this story, and I look forward to the next chapter. Terrific work.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Wow, this is your best chapter yet. It is fantasy and realism joined together in one story. I have been thoroughly enjoying this story, and I look forward to the next chapter. Terrific work.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Thank you so very much for the brilliant six stars, my friend! You know, you may be the first to hit on why I started them out in our world, and that it to tie the two together. I feel it helps people to relate to them better when I start throwing in the fantasy aspect.
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from royowen
This was a really cool episode with apparent reappearance if Theo, even though he hadn't really gone, but had been watching over Echo all the time, and those nast spectres who seem to be invincible to the humankind, great post Rhonda, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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This was a really cool episode with apparent reappearance if Theo, even though he hadn't really gone, but had been watching over Echo all the time, and those nast spectres who seem to be invincible to the humankind, great post Rhonda, blessings Roy
Comment Written 16-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Thank you, Roy, and happy late birthday! It?s always good to hear from you. I hope your ears were burning Saturday. Terry, Ann, Sarah and myself, met up for lunch. We were singing your praises.
Take care,
Rhonda
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How cool is that? Some of my favourite authors and people. I?ve never had the honour of meeting fanstory favourites like you guys, Terry did mention that you were talking about me, (blush) bless you girl,
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Awww. I got to brag about you sending me and my grandson a CD of your music. They were duly impressed.
I, also met Cat of the iamcat fame a few years ago. She lives near where my parents lived before they passed away.
Lots of fun.
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I love you all, such good authors,
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Awww, we all love you, too!!
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Bless you Rhonda
Comment from Jay Squires
I remember I started reading this story and got a few chapters into it when I started working less on FanStory, and somehow got disconnected. I commend you on the pre-chapter summary you provided. Afterwards, I fell right into the developing plot.
You have such fine characters in Echo and Theo. Their dialogue exchange is believable while maintaining the tension that's needed between two people falling in love. Good job.
"You either have to belong there or be taken there by someone who knows the way... or be a horse." Haha! I love that last part ... "or be a horse."
"I can make it. Adrenaline is a great analgesic. [I like that -- whether or not it's true!]
I'm left with the feeling that the breaking of the glass is emblematic of her break from her past and a new life beginning with Theo, and a richer development in their relationship.
This is good, Rhonda.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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I remember I started reading this story and got a few chapters into it when I started working less on FanStory, and somehow got disconnected. I commend you on the pre-chapter summary you provided. Afterwards, I fell right into the developing plot.
You have such fine characters in Echo and Theo. Their dialogue exchange is believable while maintaining the tension that's needed between two people falling in love. Good job.
"You either have to belong there or be taken there by someone who knows the way... or be a horse." Haha! I love that last part ... "or be a horse."
"I can make it. Adrenaline is a great analgesic. [I like that -- whether or not it's true!]
I'm left with the feeling that the breaking of the glass is emblematic of her break from her past and a new life beginning with Theo, and a richer development in their relationship.
This is good, Rhonda.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Thanks for checking the story again, Jay. You are so perspective about the shattering glass. Her old life is pretty much over. Her new one will be way more than she could ever imagine.
Thanks again, my friend!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This story is evolving beautifully and you tell it flawlessly. I love the relationship between Theo and Echo. There's such warmth and trust between them and I feel better now that Echo isn't trying to manage this investigation by herself, she's been hurt enough. But the Spectres are a concern and immensely creepy and it seems we are being plunged ever deeper into this fantasy world. Thanks for sharing, Rhonda. This is a virtual six from me. Debbie
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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This story is evolving beautifully and you tell it flawlessly. I love the relationship between Theo and Echo. There's such warmth and trust between them and I feel better now that Echo isn't trying to manage this investigation by herself, she's been hurt enough. But the Spectres are a concern and immensely creepy and it seems we are being plunged ever deeper into this fantasy world. Thanks for sharing, Rhonda. This is a virtual six from me. Debbie
Comment Written 16-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Awww, thanks for the virtual 6. We need at least 6 more each week!!!
You?re so right about the fantasy world creeping in, and it will become more so, but not all dark. There will be some fun parts!
Thanks again,
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from barbara.wilkey
So Echo wasn't able to call her grandmother. I hope she'll be able to contact her somehow. It's not right letting her worry. I am really liking this story. Great job.
jealous person who knows she outclassed by you on all levels. (she's)
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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So Echo wasn't able to call her grandmother. I hope she'll be able to contact her somehow. It's not right letting her worry. I am really liking this story. Great job.
jealous person who knows she outclassed by you on all levels. (she's)
Comment Written 16-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Thank you for the review and comments. Her grandma will find out. There's more to that story than meets the eyes.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Paul Manton
Wow! Now that's what I call action. A very well constructed fantasy today, with some great and original ideas - the alien nature of Theo being the most intriguing.
Lots of unanswered questions - ramping up the interest and the tension as we go into battle mode. Can't wait to find out what Theo's Horse Kingdom is really like - and I imagine that this story has a very long way to run. Well, I am here for the duration, and I can't wait to read more.
Nicely paced and controlled mini narrative of retrieving Echo's cat - safely, thank goodness - and good to have more information about the Specters - of whom there may be less by now!
Going well, Rhonda. This is one of my favorite chapter books.
Paul
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reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Wow! Now that's what I call action. A very well constructed fantasy today, with some great and original ideas - the alien nature of Theo being the most intriguing.
Lots of unanswered questions - ramping up the interest and the tension as we go into battle mode. Can't wait to find out what Theo's Horse Kingdom is really like - and I imagine that this story has a very long way to run. Well, I am here for the duration, and I can't wait to read more.
Nicely paced and controlled mini narrative of retrieving Echo's cat - safely, thank goodness - and good to have more information about the Specters - of whom there may be less by now!
Going well, Rhonda. This is one of my favorite chapter books.
Paul
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Thank you so much, Paul! I'm so glad you're sticking around. There will be lots of information once they get to Concorde Valley, for sure, though Echo may have trouble dealing with it.
Thanks again,
Rhonda
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Thanks, Rhonda. Fascinating!
Comment from Mike Stevens
Another fine chapter, Rhonda----I don't like my name being used in such a negative way though, that Michael was a dick and did something I would never do, stand up a woman--never mind you have to ask someone out first in order to stand them up, damn it, it's the principle of the thing!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Another fine chapter, Rhonda----I don't like my name being used in such a negative way though, that Michael was a dick and did something I would never do, stand up a woman--never mind you have to ask someone out first in order to stand them up, damn it, it's the principle of the thing!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Awww, Mike, sorry. I wrote the raw form of this book a few years ago, way before I met you. I'll change his name!!!!!
Thanks for the review!
Rhonda
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I guess you can use my name!
Comment from Sally Law
A fabulous chapter and spiritual twist in this crime fiction, fantasy story! I especially like the sweet relationship between Theo and Echo. He's obviously her protector. So Junior is a specter? Demonic forces involved in a crimes. Actu, I believe this to ne true of every crime. I look forward to the next chapter, my friend!
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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A fabulous chapter and spiritual twist in this crime fiction, fantasy story! I especially like the sweet relationship between Theo and Echo. He's obviously her protector. So Junior is a specter? Demonic forces involved in a crimes. Actu, I believe this to ne true of every crime. I look forward to the next chapter, my friend!
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
Comment Written 16-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Thank you for the 6 stars, my friend, and for always being a support!!
I'm glad you noticed the spiritual twist, and, yes, I believe there is demonic involvement in crimes, especially of the nature of this one. I spent two weeks on this one as it has a lot of interplay. The next one will be difficult as well, and I don't know if I can get it done in a week, but I'll try.
Love and hugs,
Rhonda
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Most welcome, my friend. A pleasure to read you. Blessings,
Sal xoxo's