Miranda's Trouble In Paradise
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Start spreading the News."Miranda tries to find Dougie.
23 total reviews
Comment from damommy
I hate to say it, but I think Miranda needs to lighten up a bit. She does need to talk to someone. I agree with about Mrs. Fine. There's one in every neighborhood.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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I hate to say it, but I think Miranda needs to lighten up a bit. She does need to talk to someone. I agree with about Mrs. Fine. There's one in every neighborhood.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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Mrs. Fine is anything but fine. Lol. Nosy old woman. Thanks for this. Gretchen
Comment from nancy_e_davis
It sounds as though Miranda is actually a bit more shook up than she is admitting. She's not as tough as she pretends to be. Well obviously she has plenty of back up.
LOL Plus a cop boyfriend and an old landlady on neighborhood watch. Who could ask for more? Love it. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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It sounds as though Miranda is actually a bit more shook up than she is admitting. She's not as tough as she pretends to be. Well obviously she has plenty of back up.
LOL Plus a cop boyfriend and an old landlady on neighborhood watch. Who could ask for more? Love it. Nancy:)
Comment Written 10-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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Thanks so much. I'm thrilled you are still hanging with me on this. Gretchen
Comment from Ric Myworld
There are times when a good old fashioned butt whooping are in order for those who keep blabbering about things they know exactly nothing about. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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There are times when a good old fashioned butt whooping are in order for those who keep blabbering about things they know exactly nothing about. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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I'm pretty sure Mrs. Fine can probably handle herself. Gretchen
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fun post, you made me smile, love the clever dialogue to showcase your natural talented skill when it comes to conversation. I enjoyed the update Gretchen, I was entertained, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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A fun post, you made me smile, love the clever dialogue to showcase your natural talented skill when it comes to conversation. I enjoyed the update Gretchen, I was entertained, love Dolly x
Comment Written 10-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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Thank you so much. I'm so glad you enjoyed this. Gretchen
Comment from BethShelby
This lady is really a character. I see there is a lot of her story I've missed. I didn't know she been kidnapped. It seems like everyone thinks she needed someone to look after her but she is very independent and doesn't want that at all. Her neighbor sound like a nosy woman she likes to think something is going on with Aaron.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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This lady is really a character. I see there is a lot of her story I've missed. I didn't know she been kidnapped. It seems like everyone thinks she needed someone to look after her but she is very independent and doesn't want that at all. Her neighbor sound like a nosy woman she likes to think something is going on with Aaron.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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Shes been shot at, hit with a gun, framed for murder and her ex boyfriend disappeared without a trace. Thanks for this. Gretchen
Comment from Sally Law
I'm behind in this multi-character story, so be patient while I catch up. I like the main characters, Miranda and Aaron a lot. Mrs. Fine is a piece of work and not so fine. Well paced and well written with a nice balance between showing and telling.
One improvement for your fine chapter. My copy editor, WalkerMan, has schooled me in the fine art of a single quotation mark for a quote within a quote:
Yours: "Dammit, Aaron, would you grow up? You just tell him. You're almost thirty years old. You don't owe him any explanation. Just say, "Dad, I made a decision about my future. I don't feel like I've been called to be a preacher. I'm not sure what God wants me to do, but I'll let you know as soon as I figure it out."
Here's the adjustment. All you need to do is copy and paste this into your text.
"Dammit, Aaron, would you grow up? You just tell him. You're almost thirty years old. You don't owe him any explanation. Just say, 'Dad, I made a decision about my future. I don't feel like I've been called to be a preacher. I'm not sure what God wants me to do, but I'll let you know as soon as I figure it out.'"
Something similar from another writing website:
Here's an example of what a single quotation mark looks like for a quote within a quote:
"My favorite book in the series is 'Testing 1, 2, 3,'" she said.
I hope this is helpful.
Sending you my best today as always, dear Gretchen, and best wishes for your book.
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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I'm behind in this multi-character story, so be patient while I catch up. I like the main characters, Miranda and Aaron a lot. Mrs. Fine is a piece of work and not so fine. Well paced and well written with a nice balance between showing and telling.
One improvement for your fine chapter. My copy editor, WalkerMan, has schooled me in the fine art of a single quotation mark for a quote within a quote:
Yours: "Dammit, Aaron, would you grow up? You just tell him. You're almost thirty years old. You don't owe him any explanation. Just say, "Dad, I made a decision about my future. I don't feel like I've been called to be a preacher. I'm not sure what God wants me to do, but I'll let you know as soon as I figure it out."
Here's the adjustment. All you need to do is copy and paste this into your text.
"Dammit, Aaron, would you grow up? You just tell him. You're almost thirty years old. You don't owe him any explanation. Just say, 'Dad, I made a decision about my future. I don't feel like I've been called to be a preacher. I'm not sure what God wants me to do, but I'll let you know as soon as I figure it out.'"
Something similar from another writing website:
Here's an example of what a single quotation mark looks like for a quote within a quote:
"My favorite book in the series is 'Testing 1, 2, 3,'" she said.
I hope this is helpful.
Sending you my best today as always, dear Gretchen, and best wishes for your book.
Sal XOs
Comment Written 10-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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Your review was very helpful. I appreciate it. Gretchen
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Hahaha. Very fun ending. Perfect comic relief. You know, Aaron and Waylon are right; Miranda ISN'T a super hero. Yet, in my mind, I wasn't worrying about her at all. She's you --a gritty chick who takes everything in stride. But anyone with any heart at all knows that's just window dressing. There's always going to be fallout from a trauma. So, wonderful job making us put that into effect where Miranda is concerned. This is about to get more riveting than ever! VERY good facet, Gretchen!! Nice work. xo
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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Hahaha. Very fun ending. Perfect comic relief. You know, Aaron and Waylon are right; Miranda ISN'T a super hero. Yet, in my mind, I wasn't worrying about her at all. She's you --a gritty chick who takes everything in stride. But anyone with any heart at all knows that's just window dressing. There's always going to be fallout from a trauma. So, wonderful job making us put that into effect where Miranda is concerned. This is about to get more riveting than ever! VERY good facet, Gretchen!! Nice work. xo
Comment Written 10-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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Thanks, Rachelle. Miranda is more guarded this time. I figure her character needs some help. She doesn't agree but we'll get through it together. Lol. Gretchen
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Hahahaha. That hard-ass!!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Another great chapter demonstrating how well your dialogue can carry the story, even in Miranda's reflective self talk. She's becoming a little less assured and then the headache reinforcing her inner turmoil. That's interesting that you say 'boy toy.' We in the UK say 'toyboy':) No errors noted except in the first line of your 'background' - finding (out). Thanks for sharing, Gretchen. Debbie
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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Another great chapter demonstrating how well your dialogue can carry the story, even in Miranda's reflective self talk. She's becoming a little less assured and then the headache reinforcing her inner turmoil. That's interesting that you say 'boy toy.' We in the UK say 'toyboy':) No errors noted except in the first line of your 'background' - finding (out). Thanks for sharing, Gretchen. Debbie
Comment Written 10-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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Thanks, Debbie. I appreciate the nice review. Thanks for catching that spag. Gretchen
Comment from Wendy G
Mirandais a tough one, but she also is vulnerable and her restless night shows her inner anxieties. Natural and unforced dialogue throughout. I like her honesty and her willingness to stand up for herself.
Wendy
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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Mirandais a tough one, but she also is vulnerable and her restless night shows her inner anxieties. Natural and unforced dialogue throughout. I like her honesty and her willingness to stand up for herself.
Wendy
Comment Written 10-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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Thanks, Wendy. I appreciate your comments. Gretchen
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Well written.
" yet here you are bringing it up again" - Well done. I like that you had her say it right out.
"Not sleeping with him." - I like how you write natural dialogue, not applying proper English to improper speech.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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Well written.
" yet here you are bringing it up again" - Well done. I like that you had her say it right out.
"Not sleeping with him." - I like how you write natural dialogue, not applying proper English to improper speech.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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Thank you so much, Wayne. I appreciate your comments and this nice review. Gretchen
