Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

A new arrival into the plot. I must say that your introduction and the reminder of her getting shot at made me hold my breath until it was established that the old man was genuine and harmless. Looking forward to seeing where he fits in later. I'm already hooked. And I am glad she and Mitch have had a bit of a talk.
Wendy
Suggestion: whoever (in this context, who ever)

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 17-Sep-2023

Thank you, Wendy. I'm glad you are hooked. Thank you for this awesome review. Gretchen

Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

You kept me on the edge of my seat over an old man in the parking lot. I thought Mitch was being somewhat of a prick, but Miranda thinks his not being like any other man is a good thing. Huh, well, you sure keep me wondering. LOL. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 17-Sep-2023

Miranda knows she is reckless. Mitch is very calm and methodical. Two traits she surely needs. Lol. She had to take care of Farley and Dougie. Thanks for your funny review. Gretchen

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

Mitch is acting a bit needy, but then Miranda's quite a catch. I wouldn't be a good detective. I don't understand what the two beer bottles in the bushes by his car have to do with anything, even if they were without a doubt his. But I think you have some subterranean logic going on and will tie it all together. One tiny oops:

It's is in the past. [oops!]

Jay

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 17-Sep-2023

The beer bottles probably don't have much to do with his disappearance but she's grasping at straws. Thanks for catching the spag. I've corrected it. You know Miranda, she's going to go around her entire hand to get from her thumb to her forefinger. LOL. Gretchen

reply by Jay Squires on 17-Sep-2023

You are too funny about Miranda's hand!

Comment from John Ciarmello

Excellent

Okay, what's going on with the old man? That was way too random a scene.

I know I'm guessing too far in advance again. Well, I can't help myself! LOL.

Great chapter, Gretchen! Best, JohnC

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 17-Sep-2023

The old man, Mr. Starling is going to be a regular. He just needed to be introduced. But good detective skills, John. Thank you for this awesome review. Gretchen

Comment from BethShelby

Exceptional

I enjoyed reading this. The old man with the cash that didn't know how to put gas in his tank was interesting. For a minute when you said,"put in your credit card strip down. I picture him taking his clothes off. lol

doesn't put him credit card in. I think you meant "put his credit card in"

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 16-Sep-2023

Lol. I like your visual of strip down. I hadn't thought of that. I just fixed the him to his. Thanks for catching that and for the dix. Much appreciated. Gretchen

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Excellent

I really like your story and would read it as a book. It has all the right elements, interesting characters, action, a mystery, and a love interest. Can't go wrong with all that. Found no proofreading mistakes or questionable sentences.

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 16-Sep-2023

Thank you, Carol. This is the sequel to the first book with Miranda's character. She's like an old friend to me. Gretchen

Comment from royowen

Excellent

The poor ol guy rattled your cage at first, but it seems he is harmless, and the kindly Miranda comes out in view. Now Mitch it is that is in love with Miranda, and she knows it, lucky man. Well done, Gretchen, blessings Roy
Typo : Doesn't put (him) credit card in.

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 16-Sep-2023

Thanks for catching that grammatical mistake. I really appreciate it. Yes, Mitch is definitely in love. Gretchen

reply by royowen on 17-Sep-2023

I like it Gretchen

Comment from T B Botts

Excellent

Hello Gretchen,
I should probably wait until tomorrow when I have a six, but I don't want to forget to review it. Well done gal. Your stories are always so believable. The extra things like including the old guy having problems at the gas pump, his comments about cash. Totally relatable, from another old guy's perspective. Keep up the good work gal.
Blessings,
Tom

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 16-Sep-2023

I hate using a card. Prefer cash, it's a no strings attached relationship. Thank you so much. No six necessary. Gretchen

reply by T B Botts on 16-Sep-2023

I'm with you Gretchen, I like cash. It's easier to keep track of, and when it's gone, you can't spend what isn't there.

Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)

Excellent

You have a fluid, easy style of writing that flows well and draws the reader into your story. It doesn't go well with the FanStory system of sequential reading. I am always disappointed when I reach the end of a post. kay

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 16-Sep-2023

Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Gretchen

Comment from Wayne Fowler

Excellent

Very good writing. And believable characters.
but he doesn't put him credit card in. - (his)
Not a lot of plot action in this chapter, but I completely understand. FanStory members don't care for much more than about 1500 words.
Best wishes.

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 16-Sep-2023

I didn't realize it was over 1500 words. I usually end at about 1200. Thank you so much. Gretchen

reply by Wayne Fowler on 16-Sep-2023

I don't think it was. I was just sayin' about FS members. Your post was fine.