Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

"Painful sunsets," describes this well. Those coming nights when everything that is happening all around us isn't necessarily good, and other things are bad. Have a wonderful weekend! Thanks for sharing.

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 Comment Written 25-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 25-Aug-2023

Thanks, Ric. Waiting for Sunday?s update from Terry on what you?ve been up to, you troublemaker!

reply by Ric Myworld on 25-Aug-2023

Well, Bruce, my friend, you mustn't forget, I keep the best parts hidden, even from Terry. :-)

reply by the author on 25-Aug-2023

You mean the bootlegging, the revolver standoffs, the bank heists, the proceeding bar fights, the love affairs, heartbreaks, fights, and romances? It's implied between the lines, Ric.

reply by Ric Myworld on 25-Aug-2023

LOL. God, those were the days, and I loved everyone of them. The broads especially. But these days, I can't have the ones I want, and I have no interest in the ones who want me. :-)

reply by the author on 25-Aug-2023

You're a couple of generations behind, but you need to research the character of Arthur Morgan. I have never in my life met anyone who resembled so many qualities of the man as you do. Do it in your darkest hour, and you'll feel better. It's a work of fiction about the realest character that I've discovered. It's sad, it's real; it's Ric.

reply by Ric Myworld on 25-Aug-2023

I'll check ol' Arthur out. Thanks for the heads up. I can't write about most of characters I've known, since nobody would ever believe they were real. :-)

reply by Ric Myworld on 25-Aug-2023

I just read where Arthur Morgan is based on Doc Holliday. And one of his famous lines is:
"Evidently, Mr. Ringo's An Educated Man. Now I Really Hate Him." I think it's a great line, since most highly educated people I've known are educated well past their intelligence. :-)

reply by the author on 25-Aug-2023

Nothing beats the streets' smarts - why I love your character so much.

reply by Ric Myworld on 25-Aug-2023

Your quick wit is the reason I love your characters too.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Again, you have a great story. I want to caution you on your sentence structure and the use of 'and'. Yes, you can use 'and' and it works very well, but.... it you change the subject after your use it, then you need a comma. Both the sentence before 'and' and the one after it can stand on it's own, so the need for the comma. I copied a few down, but there are a lot more.

"I never lost you." He said and gave me (you," he said)

He finished his job and I wanted to get up on the couch (comma after 'job', you switched subjects.)

he said and I saw the poodle (comma after 'said', you switched subjects. I doubt he had a poodle so maybe puddle??))


I bounced the question and Ben grinned to himself.

He looked back at the ocean and I did too.

The sun was setting and I jumped from my seat.

We entered the lobby and I followed him to the hotel's restaurant.

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 Comment Written 25-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 25-Aug-2023

Thank you Barbara. I rushed with publishing this piece but the story just falls in place and it's not done until it's here, where my beloved people will point me into the right direction again after I find myself in a creative rollercoaster.

I sponge some of the work I read currently too much, and Puzo had that habbit, and I get lost, and I forget myself in a moment, and I am grateful for the people like you. Sending my eternal love and thanks for your patience.

P.S. But I do stay away from any thrillers and spy novels.