The Summer We All Grew Up
Life is precious.35 total reviews
Comment from CD Richards
I'd like to say I can understand what you and Becky's other friends and her family must have gone through, and still be going through, as a result of this horrible event. In all honesty, I probably can't. If there were any instances of domestic violence in the families of my childhood friends, I was blissfully unaware of them.
I'm glad you posted this, as I think it may help raise awareness for those who haven't personally experienced this type of tragedy. Certainly, there can never be too much information about how to recognise the warning signs.
A well written account, which must have been painful to revisit. Thanks for sharing.
Craig
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2023
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I'd like to say I can understand what you and Becky's other friends and her family must have gone through, and still be going through, as a result of this horrible event. In all honesty, I probably can't. If there were any instances of domestic violence in the families of my childhood friends, I was blissfully unaware of them.
I'm glad you posted this, as I think it may help raise awareness for those who haven't personally experienced this type of tragedy. Certainly, there can never be too much information about how to recognise the warning signs.
A well written account, which must have been painful to revisit. Thanks for sharing.
Craig
Comment Written 17-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2023
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Thank you, Craig. You are right, this was not an easy one.
Comment from Terry Broxson
Douglas, this is a powerfully written story. I didn't see the warning for violence when I started reading. I just reading along enjoying the scene you were setting, and then wham. Literally. It sounds like Joan got off a lot easier than anyone else, including you and Becky's friends. The pathos of your writing is excellent. Terry.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2023
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Douglas, this is a powerfully written story. I didn't see the warning for violence when I started reading. I just reading along enjoying the scene you were setting, and then wham. Literally. It sounds like Joan got off a lot easier than anyone else, including you and Becky's friends. The pathos of your writing is excellent. Terry.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2023
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Thank you, Terry. You put this at 25 reviews. Now her story will be entombed in FS history. I was so tickled when she made the welcome page. Goal accomplished. I think people will remember her story and I hope I honored her with this endeavor.
Comment from lyenochka
What a shocking story! And now I understand why you write horror stories. I guess your got your first PTSD experience from that funeral. I'm so sorry for that poor little girl.
Well told in your story. Your joy of being on the bus together with siblings and friends really contrasted with the tragedy.
Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2023
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What a shocking story! And now I understand why you write horror stories. I guess your got your first PTSD experience from that funeral. I'm so sorry for that poor little girl.
Well told in your story. Your joy of being on the bus together with siblings and friends really contrasted with the tragedy.
Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 16-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2023
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Thank you my friend. This was an ugly write-up. You were the first person to ever review me on this site.
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Oh, really? I thought you were around longer than 2022! Glad you're here! And from your post, I learned you're about ten years younger than me!
Comment from Mary Vigasin
So well written. You began by giving the reader a perfect experience of the fun atmosphere of riding the bus.
The tragic death of Becky then takes over the story and how her death still haunts you and others to this day.
While far from the same experience, my grammar school class lost a child to heart failure at ten years. I still think of Helen to this day.
When you are 10, you believe you are invincible until a senseless tragedy takes it away. You think of that child when she was left behind while others grew up.
Very heartbreaking.
Mary
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2023
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So well written. You began by giving the reader a perfect experience of the fun atmosphere of riding the bus.
The tragic death of Becky then takes over the story and how her death still haunts you and others to this day.
While far from the same experience, my grammar school class lost a child to heart failure at ten years. I still think of Helen to this day.
When you are 10, you believe you are invincible until a senseless tragedy takes it away. You think of that child when she was left behind while others grew up.
Very heartbreaking.
Mary
Comment Written 16-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2023
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Thank you, Mary. This was a tough write-up.
Comment from Sally Law
Virtual six, my friend, and my condolences in your loss. This made me tear up. I'm so so sorry. What a terrible thing for your community. Becky's death reminds us of how quickly anger can get out of control.
I'm surprised my father didn't kill my mother. Honestly, it became that desperate on many occasions. He started verbally on my mother one evening around supper, then he shoved her. Mom hit him with a frying pan in my presence, food and all.
Sending you my best today as always, and my very best wishes for the upcoming contest.
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2023
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Virtual six, my friend, and my condolences in your loss. This made me tear up. I'm so so sorry. What a terrible thing for your community. Becky's death reminds us of how quickly anger can get out of control.
I'm surprised my father didn't kill my mother. Honestly, it became that desperate on many occasions. He started verbally on my mother one evening around supper, then he shoved her. Mom hit him with a frying pan in my presence, food and all.
Sending you my best today as always, and my very best wishes for the upcoming contest.
Sal XOs
Comment Written 16-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2023
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Thank you, Sally. I will take your kindness over a six star any day. These were tough times.
Comment from Paul Manton
Oh my, Douglas, who could not weep reading this, let alone writing and remembering it!
It is, in my opinion, superbly written - faultless English grammatically and stylistically. So the first half of this story had me smiling all the way. I can see the excitement and mayhem - I can hear the song and the screams of laughter from all your friends. Happy Days! I wanted to be ten again to share those joyful memories with you.
It is the detail which nails it down as a brilliant piece - all the names and descriptions of each child - their personalities and foibles, the color of everyone's hair. Would those memories be so sharp, I wonder, without the appalling tragedy which succeeded them?
The comparison is so stark - the 'day the music died' - and all your understanding of a benign, optimistic world with it. I am astonished that your parents made you view the body of your friend; I was the only one to view my mother's body before cremation, and it affected me deeply - but I was then fifty years old and had strategies quite unknown to children.
There is nothing here of spiritual hope, and I am not going to patronize you with Christian platitudes; if I were taking the funeral (I am a retired priest) I should certainly have shared my belief that Becky was not the buried remains, but someone more glorious, and in a better place. But here there is no light of that kind, so this stays a dark tragedy and an unhealed wound for all who knew her.
I am sorry for that - this is now part of my memories too - but I will not lose sight of the joy of childhood which you all shared up to that moment - and the joy of all children who will never, thank God, have to experience a tragedy like it.
And then there is that bus song . . . Thank you Douglas. And Linda.
Paul
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2023
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Oh my, Douglas, who could not weep reading this, let alone writing and remembering it!
It is, in my opinion, superbly written - faultless English grammatically and stylistically. So the first half of this story had me smiling all the way. I can see the excitement and mayhem - I can hear the song and the screams of laughter from all your friends. Happy Days! I wanted to be ten again to share those joyful memories with you.
It is the detail which nails it down as a brilliant piece - all the names and descriptions of each child - their personalities and foibles, the color of everyone's hair. Would those memories be so sharp, I wonder, without the appalling tragedy which succeeded them?
The comparison is so stark - the 'day the music died' - and all your understanding of a benign, optimistic world with it. I am astonished that your parents made you view the body of your friend; I was the only one to view my mother's body before cremation, and it affected me deeply - but I was then fifty years old and had strategies quite unknown to children.
There is nothing here of spiritual hope, and I am not going to patronize you with Christian platitudes; if I were taking the funeral (I am a retired priest) I should certainly have shared my belief that Becky was not the buried remains, but someone more glorious, and in a better place. But here there is no light of that kind, so this stays a dark tragedy and an unhealed wound for all who knew her.
I am sorry for that - this is now part of my memories too - but I will not lose sight of the joy of childhood which you all shared up to that moment - and the joy of all children who will never, thank God, have to experience a tragedy like it.
And then there is that bus song . . . Thank you Douglas. And Linda.
Paul
Comment Written 16-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2023
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Thank you, Paul. Your words are very kind. Six star rating aside, the fact that you wrote such a warm, long, heartfelt response is very appreciated. This was a tough time and a tough write, but I think I did her an honor telling her story.
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It was very affecting, Douglas.
You wrote it beautifully.
Paul
Comment from Ginda Simpson
What a tragic story, no wonder the experience still haunts you. No child should experience this kind of horror, no child should be a victim to mental illness or domestic violence. Awareness is where we start to change things. I am sorry this is one of your childhood memories and thank you for sharing this story with us.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2023
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What a tragic story, no wonder the experience still haunts you. No child should experience this kind of horror, no child should be a victim to mental illness or domestic violence. Awareness is where we start to change things. I am sorry this is one of your childhood memories and thank you for sharing this story with us.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2023
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Yes, this was actually a tough write, even after all these years.
Comment from Sarah Robin
I appreciate your writing about the trauma that all of you experienced in losing your friend. Unfortunately, child abuse and mental illness still goes on. This is a well written post. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2023
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I appreciate your writing about the trauma that all of you experienced in losing your friend. Unfortunately, child abuse and mental illness still goes on. This is a well written post. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2023
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Thank you for the wonderful review, Sarah. This was ax very tough write-up. How's it going 'down-under?'
Comment from Sanku
Well,I don.t know what to write. This hit me so hard that I took a few minutes for me to be myself .This is just just..unimaginable. A mother bashing up her daughter!
Your story is so well written that i was choked with emotion. Very poignant.
you planned the story very well. All the camaraderie and fun to start with and later progressing to a most gruesome episode.But there was a hint i the beginning at the title..'the perceived longevity of life is an illusion'
I liked how you wrote about death from a child's point of view..a far away shelved concept..'Thanks for posting.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2023
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Well,I don.t know what to write. This hit me so hard that I took a few minutes for me to be myself .This is just just..unimaginable. A mother bashing up her daughter!
Your story is so well written that i was choked with emotion. Very poignant.
you planned the story very well. All the camaraderie and fun to start with and later progressing to a most gruesome episode.But there was a hint i the beginning at the title..'the perceived longevity of life is an illusion'
I liked how you wrote about death from a child's point of view..a far away shelved concept..'Thanks for posting.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2023
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This was actually a very tough write for me. I appreciate your great review.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I enjoyed your description of "four colorful peas in a pod".
Great line: In my childhood mind, death seemed like a far away shelved concept, like China".
And although sad, this sentence: "My friend Becky cannot be paroled. She's still serving her sentence in the ground".
Change "passed the open casket" to "past the open casket"
What a terrible thing to have to endure, and I wish your parents had not made you view her body. I wonder if that would have lessened the trauma if they had not. You'll never know.
Thank you for sharing this story with us, Douglas. A great entry for this contest as it is deeply personal and unique in that not many of us have had this experience.
By the way, where in Indiana? I was born in Lebanon and still have family there. I grew up in South Florida though.
Best wishes,
Pam
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2023
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I enjoyed your description of "four colorful peas in a pod".
Great line: In my childhood mind, death seemed like a far away shelved concept, like China".
And although sad, this sentence: "My friend Becky cannot be paroled. She's still serving her sentence in the ground".
Change "passed the open casket" to "past the open casket"
What a terrible thing to have to endure, and I wish your parents had not made you view her body. I wonder if that would have lessened the trauma if they had not. You'll never know.
Thank you for sharing this story with us, Douglas. A great entry for this contest as it is deeply personal and unique in that not many of us have had this experience.
By the way, where in Indiana? I was born in Lebanon and still have family there. I grew up in South Florida though.
Best wishes,
Pam
Comment Written 16-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2023
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Thank you for your kind words!
South Bend area in the north.
I had the word ?past? and someone told me ?passed?. Now I am comfuddled and discombobulated.
Congrats on your big win, by the way! Nicely done!
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Just reread the line - I believe it is passed, past refers to time. Don't change it! Sorry - my bad!
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Thanks for the double check but I bailed on it and switched out both! Ha! Appreciate you.