Comment from Paul Manton

Excellent

Hello again Jim. The sunny side of the story! This is more like the last act of the Musical, 'Kolf!' which stormed Broadway and the West End - and Everybody Lives Happily Ever After!

Well, I certainly prefer that to the imminent desecration of the main female characters! Its dialogue, if anything, is the best so far, as you (and we) get to know the characters better. [Probably need to change the footnotes to adjust the ages a bit.]

This is a heartfelt marriage proposal written from the point of view of the father: when you describe Fredric and his feelings of joy, it is clear that you do so from the empathic memories of your own experience - and that is what makes it so real.

A very realistic story of domestic bliss. Thank you, Jim.

Paul

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023

Glad you enjoyed it, Paul.

We will eventually run into some more conflict, but it will be on the playing field where I hope to reinforce my main theme in this golf novel.

I'll give you a little glimpse into my thought processes for this story. In 2032 when it begins, golf is at a crossroads. It's on the verge of collapse because of a number of problems in the game that will become apparent throughout. For it to continue as the great game that it is for many, we need to explore both the things that need preserving and the things that need to change, and that's what the time travel is--an educational experience for the main characters. Part 4 will be the solution.

The main thrust of Part 1 is to represent the beauty and wonder of the game and how it just seems to grab some people right from the start (as it did me at around age 10.) We will bear witness to the aspects of the game that need preserving--the camaraderie, the good behavior and sportsmanship, but we will need some conflict to do justice to this. In Parts 2 and 3, we will witness some of the inherent problems, then we will wrap it all up in Part 4 with a possible solution.

So that's kind of where I'm going with this story.

reply by Paul Manton on 07-Aug-2023

I'll be 90 by the time you finish!
I was grabbed by lawn bowls at the age of ten. A County player at 22, I stopped playing at 27, just short of an International trial. That story is longer than yours!
Paul

reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023

Worry not (unless you are 89 1/2 now), as I am a fairly fast writer of the first draft. Part 1 is done, and it will be the longest part. The rest should go a little quicker once I figure out what to write. I am a pantser and don't have it all planned out yet--just sort of a vague outline.

Tell us in writing about your lawn bowling experience sometime!

reply by Paul Manton on 07-Aug-2023

I'm good at vague - lots of practice.
77 now, so hope I'll make it!
Best, Paul

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

I'm so glad you mentioned about the age because this has been a concern of mine throughout but I convinced myself that it was just a teenage fling. Now marriage eh! Well they're very suited and sensible so they have my blessing:)) You've done a great job here, developing this very heart-warming relationship. But this is all going too well, I think... trouble ahead? As ever, enjoyable read in well written prose. Thanks, Jim. Debbie

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 Comment Written 07-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023

Thanks so much, Debbie. Yes, there will be trouble ahead, but of a different sort. This is primarily a golf novel, so the trouble will be related to that, as I need to stay with the theme and not stray too much from the main thrust of the novel.

It's a bit surprising that marriage took place at such a young age back in the middle ages, but sex outside of marriage was severely frowned upon. I guess marriage became the solution for horny teenagers to not break the taboo.

Comment from JSD

Excellent

A lovely development. Romance everywhere. Most entertaining and engaging. Perhaps it should be called 'Love Match'. Thanks for the new posting.

John

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 Comment Written 07-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023

Thanks so much, John. I like your title suggestion too.