Comment from Ulla

Exceptional

Rhonda I love it. Ger self reflection is very realI think. She's afraid of commitment because it means you have everything to lose. So it's a self-defence to avoid being hurt again. Now, what worries me is the serial killer. Is he stalking her?
Very well written. Ulla xxx

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2023

---

reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023

Hi Ulla. Thank you for the coveted six stars! The comments are great as well, and very helpful.

It does seem the serial killer is hot on her trail!

Thanks again,
Rhonda

Comment from prettybluebirds

Excellent

I was happy to see another chapter of your story. I find the story fascinating, and I keep watching for your newest addition. I do like the artwork you put with this chapter. Nice work.

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2023

---

reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023

Thank you so much for following the book. It?s so helpful for continuity and for that feeling of community.

Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I really like this story. You have made Echo come to life. She's 3 dimensional and that's very hard to do, but you've done it. Thank you for sharing this with us and I enjoyed reading.

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2023

---

reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023

Barbara, thank you for your comments, especially on 3 dimensional character. That?s what I was trying to do with this chapter.

Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

I love your story. I think if it were in book form I probably wouldn't put it down until I read the whole thing. I can't say that about a lot of stories, but this is one I find intriguing.

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2023

---

reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023

Beth, that is so sweet! Thank you. I actually did self-publish it in the early years of my writing. I?ve learned so much since then and am still learning and revising so I can republish it.

Thanks again,
Rhonda

Comment from rspoet

Exceptional

Hello Rhonda,
This is an excellent chapter that gives us better insight into Echo's character
and the problems she has to deal with. Losing parents at the age of five would certainly cause many emotional problems.

I'm not sure about the Impala being a posthumous gift, it would have to have been kept somewhere for twenty years, unless it just a similar car.

The scene at the Super Handyman store is very well done, a trip down memory lane. Taylorville is much like a town out of my past.

Good connection of local people like seeing their name in print, and the mind of the serial killer who might want the same thing.

"For about another hour" I think you could drop either about or another -
for another hour - for an hour.

And now the mysterious man, foreshadowing of paranoia? Nice way to keep the reader guessing.

I thick Echo will always have Theo on her mind (like the country song)

Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2023

---

reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023

Hi Robert, thank you for the shining six stars!

Thank you for your careful review.

I need to clarify on the Impala. It was her parents car, kept by her grandparents until she was old enough to drive it.

You?re write on the added word. Bad habit I?m trying to train myself out of, lol.

The small town and newspaper was patterned after one here in Texas, called Dublin, where I had family members working.

Thanks again for your help,
Rhonda

Comment from Pam (respa)

Exceptional

An excellent job with this chapter, Rhonda. I like the opening paragraph as Echo gets in her car and thinks of her parents because they had given it to her. I like her question about opening a new store in the middle of the Christmas season. A good job describing the festivities inside the story.

You raise the bar when Echo gets in her car and notices a strange man staring at her. I'm glad she locked her care and being a reporter helped her to concentrate on what he looked like and made sure to make note of it. She has a way of always asking good questions. She also has good insight about her thoughts, actions, and relationships.

A very good conclusion, but I have a feeling letting go of the past won't be quite as easy as she indicates.

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2023

---

reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023

Hi Pam, thank you so much for your detailed review and six stars!! You're the best!!

I tried to build a little more depth to this chapter and I'm glad it came through. I wanted to show she was overwhelmed, but at the same time, a good reporter and let her professional nature show up.

I'm glad you noticed the questioning, a hallmark of being a reporter. She tends to stick with that when she's overwhelmed.

You're right about her past. The resolve is destined to fall apart as her need increases.

Thanks again, my friend,
Rhonda

reply by Pam (respa) on 30-Jul-2023

You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Rhonda, and thanks for sharing everything in your reply.

Comment from Sally Law

Exceptional

Fantastic chapter, my friend. I'm glad you shared the inner workings of Echo Jones and tied it to her past. Apparently, the Super Handyman store is not all that it appears to be. I wait for more!

Sending you my best today as always, dear Rhonda. Exceptional!
Sal XOs

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2023

---

reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023

Hi Sally, thank you for the 6 stars and for the wonderful review. I did try to give Echo a little more depth in this chapter and tie in some more elements. I appreciate your time and look forward to tomorrow and your post.

Hugs,
Rhonda

Comment from Paul Manton

Excellent

Just lost my entire review! Again!!
As I was saying . . . this is even better than last time, because today we see a more 3D picture of Echo - her judgment and her perspicacity. Nice touch when she writes 'eager' instead of 'terrifying! Her personality shines through.

The crazy store opening is terrific because you cycle through a whole list of over the top activities (the picture is brilliant - and conveys the manic situation!) Great use of rhetorical questions and the 'rule of three', seldom encountered by this reviewer: viz. in the para beginning 'Had Sara Beth . . .'
Also, nice use of circumlocution to avoid repetition: 'The Man in Red' for 'Santa' eg

Then, the final situation, accurately described to induce a sense of low level menace - the ambiguous making us nervous - is she really being paranoid? Good idea to write down a description - but still vague, of course.

And finally, a return to the memories of childhood - and another paradox: the memory of the heroic 'mystery boy' - can she put that behind her?
Almost certainly not.
Look forward to the next one. Thank you, Rhonda.
Paul

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2023

---

reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023

Wow, Paul, thank you for the wonderful review, even if you lost the first one - how annoying. I've done that myself, or even worse, falling asleep in the middle of one.

It is super helpful to get the amount of detail you provide in your reviews. It definitely confirms the direction and form of the chapter I'm on, but even greater is how it can help with future chapters.

Almost certainly not on Theo. Same with the menace!

Hugs,
Rhonda

reply by Paul Manton on 30-Jul-2023

Thanks, Rhonda.
Glad it was helpful.
Paul

reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023

Definitely helpful, my friend!

reply by Paul Manton on 30-Jul-2023

Till then!

Paul

Comment from royowen

Excellent

Another excellent episode were you get into the mind of Echo, this girl that is a little different in circumstance to other girls, has the job of investigating the serial killer, (I wonder if this is the same person that was responsible for her parent's deaths) and the mysterious timeless body who tendered her needs in the woods, beautifully written Rhonda, blessings Roy

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2023

---

reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023

Hi Roy, thank you for reviewing the chapter and leaving your comments. You have some things right, but the serial killer and Theo are not the same. Thank you for thinking it through, though. It's helpful to see where people are going with it in their minds.

Take care,
Rhonda

reply by royowen on 30-Jul-2023

No I guessed that Theo is a friend.

Comment from lyenochka

Exceptional

I like that Echo analyzes herself with some very real possibilities as to why she cannot connect with people deeply. She could have a fear of loss or that no one measures up to Theo. Hope that man is Theo and not the serial killer!
Comments:
Echo filtered between the isles (aisles?)
If this is in current times, I wonder if Echo might want to talk her notes into her cell phone?

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2023

---

reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023

Hi Helen,
Thank you for the 6 stars. So very warming this morning!! Thanks for finding the isles, lol. I remember seeing it at one point and thinking I needed to change it, then forgot it again.

Thanks for the comments on her relationship issues. I think her problems come from a combination of both factors.

Hugs,
Rhonda

I did start it out with Echo using her phone for notes, as that's what I do, but wanted her to be a bit old-fashioned and use paper so changed it. I think I'll add that in so people will understand why she used paper.